Black ink drips into clear water; it diffuses.
I am a pebble, thrown,
Skimming the surface until it loses;
I am submerged but not alone.
There is blackness all around me,
Thin but clearly evident.
Water bodies are my happy places;
Black is a lack of color- a numbness.
I could dive into the ocean,
But apathy would follow my path.
I am running, breathing heavily,
But I can't escape the crawling black.
There is an inkwell inside everyone,
But mine- I have acknowledged it.
Try as I have to escape the thoughts,
It latched onto the acknowledgment.

Once in my life, a few years past,
I dove directly to the black,
Hating the world outside my water glass-
The only way to block the mass.

Since then, the ink has followed me,
Bodies of water to water bodies,
Creating a film through which I see,
A subtle, haunting apathy.

We're not so different, you and I.
There is an inkwell inside everyone.
You are sitting on the lid of yours.
From mine, I am on the run.

I don't know what this is;
You've gone ballistic.
Right now I'm dodging words,
but who knows what a fist is?
A figment
of my imagination,
creation
of possible scenarios
that I don't want to think about,
bruises forming on my arms
and gazes screaming, "let me out."
I'm not doing this;
I tell this to myself now,
but I forgave you once,
and I'll forgive you if it all plays out
like it does in my nightmares-
blank stares.
I'm hollowing out,
and I'm not about
to tell you how
I feel.
It's surreal.
I don't want to believe it,
but there's a lot I don't want to believe,
my heart on my sleeve,
and you're wiping your nose in it.
That's not why I care.
I care for the times
when the tears aren't there.
I'm only in love with part of you,
the part that seems to be right now;
I love all the parts I've met,
but there's a nagging inside
that doesn't trust you somehow.
I just feels like there's a side of you
that I've only started meeting;
the loving loses meaning
when it comes with painful greetings
with this new side of you.
I'm tired of ending every night
on a sour note.
I want to let it go,
but I can't.
You have so much power over me,
using me,
repeatedly,
because I believe
that I love you,
and I already forgive you
for anything you've yet to do.
It's sickening to know the truth.

He took away my happiness, he took away my confidence, he took away the love i once felt, he took away my innocence.
He took away my peace, he took away my dignity, he took away the trust i once had, he took away my sanity.
He took away my joy, he took, away my smile, he TOOK away everything it takes to be a child.

My heart is oceanic
I move with the moon
Violent and dark my waves
At night I reach deep shores

My heart is an ocean
On which love can thrive
We value diamonds more
We value colored stones

What is all around us
What is essential, we take for granted
Red water on which love can survive
But, we value diamonds more