Today I began to hem,
rein in the threads that grow free
when left unstitched

I ticked a set of books
and, though I love my charges,
my heart hurt

My language is another,
my experience of this globe
unutterably different,
though geographically the same

And I want to help them play the game, I do,
but I don’t trust those
telling me how to

My instincts,
honed by humans I trust, unless
I’m lost in my own Truman Show,
show me the right way to go,
divergent  from this current shitshow

The pedagogy of care
is somewhere way, way
over there

Not hate,
Loss is a more apt opposite.
I don't hate.
Euphoria is distilled to misery;
Happiness trickles into sadness;
Delight drips to deflation.
Nope, I don't hate.
I'm lost, Love.

don’t you know how much I
love you I love you I
only want what I
think is best
for you I
really do know best I
will take care of everything honey I
promise you I
just want you to be happy I
just want you to behave

If we were a movie,
I’m sure no one would watch
since you got the girl,
despite breaking her heart.
One, the times you cheated,
two, the times you’ve lied
about where you are or who you’re with.
I can’t count the times I’ve cried.
Yet I wake up every morning
wrapped in your warm embrace,
a spell so toxic I forget
those days you lied right to my face.
Am I weak or just forgiving?
Have you changed or your disguise?
Either way I’ve little choice
since I’m addicted to this lie.
Yes, there’s no denying I should hate you
after all you’ve put me through.
The facts are undeniable
yet still I’m sure I love you.

She wanted me first, always a lust
for me
Coaxed me to her side, always so
curious to me.

She desired me then, the impossible conquest
I was
Opened to me like petal to a rose, so
beautiful she is.

She hated me next, the guarded sentinel
she saw.
My heart was protected from her, so
scorned she was.

She loves me now, her one true soulmate
I am
I gave myself, in my being, for always
happy we are.

I find myself looking for you around in other people,
When I walk past that door, Or, through the places unknown,
I see two people exchanging a glance, or kissing good-byes,
And I think of you a little more, and look at myself with a sigh!

I find you in places I thought I could be alone.
Moments that I thought brought me peace,
movies that I saw to clear my head,
All of these now only causes me distress.

But this is the ***** truth of life,
We'll be together forever was just a lie.
I know I'm broken badly,
It's all gonna be okay,
Gradually it is all going to be fine.

You left me in shock by not giving me any time,
I still can listen to your voice in my head,
And the smell of your skin makes me feel sad,
Future you showed to me, it all feels like a dream,
The only thing being it’s her in it now, and not me.

I keep telling myself these days,
Just give yourself some time,
Sit back, relax and sip the juice of the lime.
I too shall find the peace in my life,
The one that I can perfectly call mine,
But for now, I guess I need to move on,
Why cry for someone who's already gone.