I'm here on the bed, you're there on your game
Forgive me for thinking that that's sort of lame
You want simulation, I want stimulation
That comes from a touch not my imagination
I wish you would take me to far away places
Instead I'm left wide open with these big empty spaces
Wounds need to be dressed, holes need to be filled
Someone catch me I'm falling, dont even know if its real
Got people calling me an Egirl like Im after flirtation
Forgive me for being hungry for just a little conversation
Should I just fade away, while you play away
Watch me fade away, might not be here someday

That girl sitting there
Such a beautiful tragedy
Her body her grave
Her mind a travesty

Teetering on her baby legs
A newborn with a Solo cup
bombastic red with a few
undulating ribs
Held firmly in her hand
Is this her first or her third?
Somnambulant yet eager
And just a little out of place
In a foreign territory
On newly contested lands
She stumbles through a raucous crowd
Or was it just white noise?
She’s lost her companions
Somewhere
Although they could very well be close at hand

In the distance she can make out
Laughing faces
Bodies moving to and fro
Spilling forward, little messes
Throwing back cheap libation

She passes through a room and out the door
Into the out-of-doors
Someone following her unbeknownst
Watching her cautious, curious steps
And when she turns and sees the blur standing
She greets it
“Hail Fellow!”

Bouncing from variable to variable
Frequency to frequency
Confident and in command
Of a seemingly controlled chaos
He approaches smiling and holds out his hand
Anonymous

Having drawn her attention from the stars
That she could not find above
Leaning against the garage’s eastern wall
She takes it awkwardly
Tentative she smiles back reassured
Wobbling she returns standing alongside him
Or was she in front?
Purposeful and en route
Emboldened by his presence
And how the way was parted before her
Just by his being there.
By being so close.
She felt vaguely special
it showed in her half-smile
Cloaked in bangs
She held her head just a little bit higher

The co-conspiratorial glances
Met by boys eyes
And shes
Went unseen by the girl with the
Solo cup
One of tens upon tens upon tens
A coven would have known
It’s better not to

However.

She was shown a seat to rest
And her cup refilled
She takes a sip and smiles again
She takes another and then a gulp
That spills
He takes the cup away
And places it on the low table
Suggests she go to the restroom upstairs and get herself
Sorted

Embarrassed she is relieved for direction
Someone knows what’s going on
And his caring
Taking the time
His kind eyes
She’s usually alone
She waddles up the stairs to find
a toilet and a mirror
God she thinks
I look a mess
She tries to fix it
The hair
The eyes
The lips
The dress
The stomach
The *******
The thighs

She shrugs her shoulders at her reflection
Exhales and steps out again
To find him standing there
waiting for more.

She wants another cup.
She’s missing her cup.
I’ll get you the cup he says
In just a second.
Come.

That girl who always smiles,
She's crying deep inside.
When you think you really know,
Well newsflash honey, you don't.

When she says "I'm fine"
Please don't believe her lies
She'll never tell you why
But at least give it a try

When she says "I hate myself"
It most likely is true.
So please be there for her
And tell her to not be blue

That girl who always clowns around
And makes everybody laugh
Believe me when I say she's unhappy,
I know 'cause she is me




© Leigh Herondale  *July 2015

She assumed it was commitment
But he was up for just a musement
Oh how she held him tight
All the while he played her right
Hers is a dreamy future with him
His head in the clouds, of partying and daydrem.
To him he's just another girl
To her he is her whole world.

Kiss me like if this night was the last night.

Night, last night you could see beyond my eyes.

Eyes, beyond my eyes there is this lonely girl.

Girl, lonely girl wondering who could listen to her.

Kiss her thru this last night beyond her eyes.

           Lonely girl just listen to her.

Behind that cheerful smile
hides a very sad girl.