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ConnectHook Aug 2019
Jeffrey Epstein is gone. Suicided?
The conclusion is still undecided.
A libidinous god . . .
or a jewel for Mossad?
The tribunal is deeply divided.

Mr Epstein is gone... wonder where.
Is he dead? All conjecture is fair.
Was that him on the slab?
We all hoped we would blab;
his declassified secrets to share.
He used to manage my hedge-funds back in the day ☺
TheB0redP0et Jul 2019
poetic thoughts running free 'n' about,
thinking limericks, my mind's full of doubt.

spooked from behind, as then i called for my cat,
trying to convince, the innocent claws to chase out the rat.

as all he did was pout the fat 'n' lazy, stout...
Rose Mar 2019
I need to say something I’d rather not have to say
But there is a bed I have made and now I must lay
you shouldn’t have to know
But I’m gonna say no
I really hope our friendship won’t have to pay.....
Samantha Feb 2019
There once was a young girl from China
Who found a sprig of Spartina.
She went to the web
as her marsh it was dead
And found it’s from North Carolina.
A native of the east coast of the USA, Spartina alterniflora has been introduced to marshes up and down the west coast as well as to countries such as China. The species has a dense root system that hinders filtration and out-competes native species
Samantha Feb 2019
Down in the Chesapeake Bay
A boy looked down in dismay
He went looking for Blues,
but there was some bad news
The Green Crab had ruined his day.
http://mdinvasives.org/iotm/feb-2006/
Samantha Feb 2019
Of all the creatures of old
that fly to escape from the cold
no journey compares
to the trip that is their's
Dendroica striata take gold.
Also known as the blackpoll warbler, their nonstop migration takes them over 2500km from Alaska and northern Canada in the summer to South America and the Caribbean in the winter.

Recently their classification has changed making them part of the Setophaga genus. Their new scientific name is Setophaga striata.
ogdiddynash Aug 2018
no limericks today
none of my dads amusings

no rhyme no tale no sing no complaining

no dancing no pole
vaulting no dashing yards

blues yes harmonica wailing and the
banjo picking me apart no poems
necessary

got it all
got it none
got it in my brain
cause soul n’ heart
all longtime surrendered

the wind whips my t-shirt
and what was beneath it gone
never know what piece of me blew away but for sure it was not a ditty
something cute
for the blues chased away all
the limericks and there’s are just an
all gone
Mary-Eliz Apr 2018
There once was a man who liked to eat grunion
he ate them with ketchup and onion
he ate them for lunch
he ate a whole bunch
he ate so many they gave him a bunion

There was a lady who liked to eat cheese
but when she ate it she started to sneeze
she'd sneeze and she'd cough
till her hat would fall off
and she developed a terrible wheeze

There was a young girl who ate cantaloupe
while she rode on the back of an antelope
she rode along fine
and continued to dine
till her antelope tripping, slid down a *****

There was a boy who liked mango
when he ate it he did the fandango
he'd throw out the peels
then with a click of his heels
he would dance a beautiful tango

There was a lady who loved carrots
but so did her large group of ferrets
if her ferrets were there
she had to give them a scare
to keep them away from her carrots

There once was a man who liked to eat soup
but when he did it made his ears droop
it was hard to recoup
with ears covered with goop
but he just couldn't give up his soup

There was a young lad who liked waffles
Though they made him feel really awful
he ate them with butter
then he would sputter
and develop a terrible cough-ful

There was a man who loved to eat stew
but when he ate it his face would turn blue
it was truly a ghastly hue
he looked like he had the flu
as if he was sick through and through

There once was a lady who liked custard
she ate it with pickles and mustard
a strange combo, she'll grant
since she's not even pregnant
when she was asked she'd always get flustered
Total silliness! Feeling playful lately.
ConnectHook Apr 2018
One World Limerick

The notion of nations united
gets the global progressives excited.
Their party of Babel
is ******’s own rabble
(we’re left with the Right uninvited).


Values Clarification Limerick

Many worldlings (whose ways we bemoan)
hope their lives we’ll approve and condone.
But we couldn’t care less
for the views they profess;
we just wish they would leave us alone


Roman Limerick

Our antichrist leaders (so Fabian)
are more Nero, and less like Octavian.
So with Caesars and salad
I’ll dress up my ballad.
(The future’s plebeian or Flavian.)


Kente Pajamas Limerick

A racist obtuse Afro-whiner
Tried to give the right-wing a black shiner
While applauding Obama
He railed at my mama
His manners could be a lot finer  .  .  .


Apocalyptic Limerick

The riddles of John’s Revelation
imply a large-scale devastation.
The end is not too clear
but looks rather nuclear:
a well-deserved A–bomb-in-nation.


Freethinking Limerick

An atheist, weary of fables
Found his intellect turning the tables.
He declared: As a nihilist
held to a higher list,
I’m for erasing the labels.


Mendacious Limerick

Fake propaganda as news
only fools those it’s meant to confuse
there is wrong, there is right
when you’re left in the light
of a nation with little to lose.
Um . . . men and women
are the ONLY two genders.
Deal with my Haiku!

PS: anyone else having trouble with italics & bold recently?
They're not working for me
ConnectHook Nov 2017
Career politicians, who cluck
as they strut with an impotent pluck
make me sick with the season
befouling all reason:
they're less of a **** than a cuck.

That gobbler and turkey-neck Mitch
makes me furious—so mad that I twitch.
He obstructs every battle
while jiggling his wattle;
unpardoned, unworthy (but rich).

The patrician political class
is a party that speaks through its ***.
They are lacking in guts
with no ifs, ands, or buts
but I swear: they produce enough gas.



HAPPY THANXGIVING, Fellow Poets
And best wishes to all the Revisionists.
Dig in:  http://tinyurl.com/y9868oqm
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