at eighteen
you walked away from
your house
and darling,
you were so brave.
you were always so brave.
i can imagine just how hard
it must have been for you
to walk away.
from your angry father
and your depressed mother.
you never wanted to leave her behind
but you needed to go.
you heard your own heart in your ears.
and your shaky legs,
you first needed to save yourself.
embrace yourself.
when he first touched your face
you thought you might explode
into small pieces of fireworks.
no one has ever made you feel
like he did
and right at that moment,
for the first time in your eighteen years,
you felt contented.
and when he walked you home
and pulled you into a tight hug,
you could hear your father's violence
from the back of your mind.
now, it is new years eve
and you are standing in the middle of the night beach,
your feet against the soft sand.
you hear the waves rushing back and forth,
trying to touch your toes,
and when they finally do,
you are pulled under.
you are thinking about him.
the boy who made you feel
like a firework.
the same boy who left
without a word.
it's been a long time since he's been on your mind.
and out of the blue
you remember that rainy day
when you closed the front door behind you
and walked towards the station
with the small suitcase tightly clutched in your hand
for a moment
you've have forgotten the brave girl
with eyes determined as a dark storm.
breathing in the smell of the sea,
you stare into a dark endless horizon.
you cannot see a thing.
it's a never ending abyss
and for a minute
you wonder if
you are still brave.
you are brave, my love.
you are brave.
you have always been so brave.
