She stares
With a bagpack and a ribbon in her hair
I care
But the words have never left my tongue

I'm concerned she's scared
Of how I treat myself

It makes me fear
What she will do
It was only the tip of the iceburg

What if she only knew?

I am no artist
But I do paint with words
I am not insane
But I hear things unheard
I'm no storyteller
But great tales I can weave
I'n not a comforter
But you can always cry on my sleeve

Please stand by, we're having some technical difficulties
We are dealing with the static disturbance
The colourbars are staring right back at me
What a horrible turn of events

Maybe it's time to cut the act
Everything is ruined in moments
I always infect and ruin everything
No matter the type of event

What if I do them a final favour
And just **** myself?
Let me
Put them out of their misery

My problematic existence has always been a waste
I can never get anything right
This worthless circus monster should be rid of with haste
I can't even do that right

Let me
Put you out of your misery
And end it all
It shouldn't be hard to build you up
By having an eternal fall

I'm sorry, it's my fault
I should cut off my tongue
My skull should be bashed in
My neck should be rung

Let me
Put you out of your misery
Can't tell you I'm falling apart
I am worthless, my opinion doesn't matter
Just hurry up and put a knife through my heart

Thinking of all their time that's been wasted because of me
It's a shame their efforts are for naught
Considering that I'll never amount to anything good enough
I was woth it, back then I thought

"Why don't you just use a filter?"
Because I don't like being fake
"Come one, it'll make you look better!"
All the unnecasary effort for unknown people's sake?

Sometimes they're many
Sometimes they're few
Unpractically pretty
But they will do

Flowers in my garden
The only things certain
The only faces I know
Who'd remain true as they grow

They may blossom like my growing fear
The may wither like my sanity
They are stifled by the thorns
Like the skin I'm in, well-worn
They are suppressed by the weeds
Like the guilt in me

Flowers in my garden
I am quite certain
We're the same
But I'm embodied in flesh

Flowers in my garden
I beg your pardon?
What do you mean that you don't exist?

If you leave, what'll happen to me?

I’ll help you find you way;
Live to see brighter days,

When you’re feeling imprisoned,
I’m the key to your cage.

When you’re lost I will find you,
In fogs I’ll always shine through.

When you’ve lost, it’s a gain;
I’ll protect you from pain.

The unending suppression
Leaves no words to be said.

The hurt that goes unmentioned
Keeps replaying in my head!

Your gusty winds of teaching,
Your too-**** persuasive legions
Warm even my deepest regions,

And kills me all the while...

Your fingers at the sides of my mouth,
Telling me to smile.

You're the doctor giving bad medicines to ******* back.

You groom me well, teach me to entice the pains, no matter how vile.

You make the walls of my heart go compact.

I wear my masks to make it better
I anxiously wait as I see the three grey dots dance on my screen
I don't see the point in painting merry smiles to hide the truth
I wear the skin that makes me scream

I’m sorry that things have changed
We aren’t the human I used to know
My mind and my heart have had their exchange
And the fears that have been caught up with at last begin to show

Lying has never felt so fulfilling
I’m about to fall apart again
Monsters shouldn’t exist, now could be their time of killing
But the shadows in the corner of my mind won’t let me rest

I cut the meat and stuff the flesh
To feed the bottomless stomachs of finites
The damage done lives in my veins
It only gets worse, we can’t hope for the best

On the edge-ridden surfaces
I throw myself and is comforted by talking meat
The nation reaches its loving arms out to inflict me
But non-existent persons shouldn’t be acknowledged.

I’ll never be real enough for the talking flesh.

I find peace in the silence,
But a silent world can be maddening.
Noise drives me to my ends,
It corrupts all my happennings,
But if peace is therefore maddening,
And it's the same for noise,
One way or another I'll lose my mind
Without being given a choice.

If this is what defines me

I
prefer
to
remain
without
definition.