She lays in her bed feeling like she's laying on cement.
Nothing feels good anymore.
It all hurts, it all feels so out of reach. Just out of reach. Everything is always just out of reach. Why is everything just out of reach?
Why does she do everything right and get nothing in return?
Maybe it's not right.
She gets her hopes up. She really needs to stop doing that, it creates unrealistic expectations and those are ideas that she just cannot get herself stuck on.
Is this the punishment for trying to be happy? She doesn't understand what she has done wrong, she doesn't understand what she needs to do right.
She no longer wants to do right.
People are belittling her.
People are telling her how she should act.
Her strings are being pulled left and right, down and up all at once.
She ripped a long time ago.
She sits there with a blank stare. No longer caring, she just has to agree with everyones orders and what everyone wants from her.
Her life is not her own.
Has it ever been her own?
Will it ever be?
Then it brings up the question, but does it matter?
She tries to speak but they grab it out of thin air and shake their heads at her.
Her words are not valid.
She is not valid.
She will never be valid.
It's no longer just out of reach.
It's completely out of her hands.
They have locked it in a box and hid the key.
She has no chance here.
She never has,
she never will.
