They landed in the capital city,
a charming place, but it was a pity
that attractive buildings were not maintained
or looked after at all, but still retained
their original grace, with brass-knockered doors,
and balconies projecting from every floor.
George and his crew went out for a walk,
and wandered through a maze of alleys,
hearing on all sides the people talk
in Spanish, but they did not dally,
but continued until they saw the ocean,
with waves describing a circular motion,
as they frothingly fell on a shore of white
endlessly stretching until out of sight.
The water was calm in shades of blue,
with sometimes a fishing boat in view,
but the beach was empty, no people there,
no swimmers, no sunbathers, not a deckchair.
No children playing and laughing with glee,
just a deserted strand and a tranquil sea.

From The Adventures of George
©Blair Gowrie (Roderick Macdonald)

The dark man then shouted, “If it’s pork that you wish,
then have it you will,” and hurled the whole dish
at the Maximum Leader who was hit in the beard
and his nose and his cheeks and his uniform smeared
with pork and with beans and chili sauce seasoning
which ran down his face and stained all his clothing.
The Latin cook then grabbed a cleaver immense
in order to protect and come to the defense
of the Maximum Leader, who support did not lack,
as all of his aides jumped into the attack.
A melee broke out with punching and fighting,
shouting and cursing and kicking and biting,
tables knocked over and crockery broken,
this was for George a tricky situation.
But, quick-witted, as usual, he knew what to do.
On the stove there was boiling a large *** of stew,
picking up a cup, and the other cooks too,
they filled them with hot broth which they then threw
at the combatants all, who, burned, ceased their brawling
and fled for their lives to avoid further scalding

from The Adventures of George
©Blair Gowrie (Roderick Macdonald)

I heard a noise ...
Could that be food?
I peer outside;
I’m really shrew-d,
My sight is dim,
But I am not,
Though small, I’m fierce,
And hunt a lot,
So stand aside,
I’m coming out,
Don’t bar my way ...
Or I’ll sort you out!

At last the sinister stranger arrived,
in a large limousine with windows dark
that no one should see who was inside,
and a small flag in front and a shiny sheen,
every part polished and perfectly clean,
diplomatic plates both front and behind
impressive it was this four-wheeled machine.
Out stepped the stranger and black of hair,
his glasses glinting in the glare
of sunlight shining down on him,
strutting slowly unsmiling towards
the club with all his bodyguards,
short of stature, fat not thin,
tunic of grey and stern of mien,
the arrogant autocrat himself in person
had arrived to visit George’s kitchen.

From The Adventures of George
©Blair Gowrie (Roderick Macdonald)

One of these cooks a woman was,
direct and forthright, and because
her eyes of brown and auburn hair,
lips of red and complexion fair
and steely nerve and smile so tight
and giving orders left and right
made all who worked there live in fright.
No-nonsense style, and assertive too,
while delegating work to do,
should any cook show tardiness
and fail to prove his real finesse,
she would at once her work forsake
and scold him for his laziness.
Yes, brash and bossy she was at times,
wanting to install some discipline
in all her comrades in the kitchen,
and to give to them some sense of pride
in their work and occupation.
Her cooking was plain, no elaboration,
no garlic for her or similar spices,
salt, pepper and mustard were her devices.

From The Adventures of George
©Blair Gowrie (Roderick Macdonald)

I dumped SuperGirl because her ***** are hard as rocks.
They are literally harder than concrete cinder blocks.
I should've known they were hard because bullets bounce off of them.
******* that aren't soft should be a crime because it is so grim.
When I broke it off, she made my life a living hell
She burned down my house and ****** in my well.
If you think that was bad, you won't believe the other things that she did.
She lied to Social Services, she said that I abused my son and I lost my kid.
She put an end to my *** life when she used her laser beams to castrate me.
My manhood has been taken and no jail will hold the ***** so she's going free.
My life has fallen to pieces, I would give anything for some Kryptonite.
I would also want Batman's armor suit so I could **** that ***** in a fight.
Don't even think about dating SuperGirl, believe me when I say that it is no fun.
If you date her and break it off, you'd better have a Kryptonite bullet in your gun.