It's not that I'm making excuses
For the days that I messed up
Not that I want to be cut some slack
For the horrible things that I've done

Though I must tell you
There's a lot than you know
The moments behind the scenes
That birthed the themes you see
That makes you upset
Go wild and make
You feel that I don't deserve a thing

The stories behind
The mood swings
The character flaws
And sudden outbursts of anger

It's hard for me to explain
But I was behind bars
Before I went there.
That dark cold floor
That locked door

shushes and hushes
Of don't tell mummy and Daddy
Do you know my cry?
Do you know the sentences
I had to carry in those,
hidden moments

Once sentient
Became forever dead
Ice cold and broke
If placed in a mold
He wouldn't fit

Uncle Salisu
Aunty Aaliyah
Broda Jide
Sister Uche

Did I tell you that Monday
As I walked down the path to school
The cold shivers that ran down my spine
It was not in the bush
It was not under the dark stairwell

In plane sight
All eyes were watching
But still nobody could see
The hidden moments
Where peach became squash

Beaten out of shape
Confined to the shades
The forever dark places
With no aim
There was no one to blame
Nobody knew so ?

Look at her
Perfect in all ways
But that illusion
Is just smoke

Look at him
Number one jockey
But that role
Is just smoke

Look at them
carefree and happy
But that smile
Is just smoke

She is depressed
He is abused
They are neglected
And nobody can see

Beyond the smoke