They speak with such hostility towards my goals
But they're just simply non believers
I stand on top of my sentences with promise and I don't play games
Despite me having a hard time speaking
I come off as slow but I'm simply moving too fast
For someone who is in complete denial of what I have to say
I take pity on those I have hurt
Because I wish I was able to be the only one who was hurt
Too many scratches inside my soul
The Angels couldn't recruit me to protect their threshold until I healed my wounds
But the heart resides and looks for shelter
Two actions at once
I'm a man trying to revert the dagger that I didn't see coming
This blockade of sadness is forthcoming
I must subsidize my qualms and dry my palms
I have too much soot on my hands
I must clean myself before I can be transparent again

Nothing can describe the feeling that courses through my veins, through my head, through my stomach.
I cry and shake and puke over the fact that your body has been contaminated.
The foreign hands that layed everything on you is like poisen that I have swallowed.
Making me sick, making me shake.
My insides explode and I can't handle it.
As my clothes dampen with my tears and wish I could drown in them.
Sink deep to the bottom where there are no tears, no emotion, no pain.
I cry from the hurt, the disbelief, the betrayal.
And yet I do not hate you.

I beat myself up and drive myself crazy with the thoughts of the poisen on your lips and covering your body as you throw it upon yourself and yet I do not hate you.

The daily tears, insults and bad memories are not enough because I do not hate you.

I deserve better and yet you are all I want.

But I wish I hated you.

- the girl who you used to call yours

If I had only known

You would still be snug in your're bed

Your laughter would echo through the room

Instead of just memories

If only my words could have shaped the blades of shears

And cut you free

To live such a lonely life

The mask upon your face done up too well

Doubts plague my thoughts and poison my heart

I wish you wrote

How was I supposed

How you could do this, I will never know

I would have liked to say

I Need to say

Goodbye


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