I am terrified.
not of you,
never of you
your love is the one thing I could trust without question.
what i fear is everything else

i fear four years will swallow us whole
that the empty weeks, months, years between our visits
will stretch so wide we lose ourselves inside them
i fear the waiting, the missing,
the endless ache of wanting
with no way to hold you close

i fear waking up alone,
day after day,
month after month,
year after year,
until the memory of your warmth
feels like a dream i once had
instead of a life we share.

i fear the slow erosion
not betrayal,
but distance grinding down the edges of us
until one day we don’t fit together
the way we used to.

i know you love me.
it took me a while to truly accept it, but i’ve accepted it
i know i love you
a type of love that shouldn’t be possible for a few months relationship
a type of undying, unfettering love, that drives my very existence
a type of love that i know will best fear in the end,
but love right now feels fragile against time’s cruel hands
what if its not enough?
what if these years
build walls higher than our arms can reach
roads longer than our hearts can walk?

i dont want to lose you to silence,
to calendars,
to the simple cruelty of not being able
to see your face when i need it most
(not just over a phone, but in person, where i can hold you in embrace
that completes my soul, and gives me purpose)

i want us to survive
more than anything
and know i will do whatever i can to make sure that happens
but id be lying
if i didnt say i was so scared
oh what distance can do
even to the strongest love.

i dont share this with you to cast doubt on us
i dont share this with you to try and strike fear
i want nothing more than for us to survive
i love you more than anything
i literally cannot function without you
you are the smile that gets me through the day
and stops me from breaking down
stops me from just staying here, where i lay, not moving, not doing anything with my life
you are my energy, my fire, my happiness and joy
you are my everything

but a wise friend once gave me some advice
he said “matt, one thing for any ldr to work,
no matter how silly or serious the matter
whether you think the other needs to hear it or not,
whether it could impact the relationship or not,
whether it may hurt or aid your partner,
whether you plan to act on it or not,
if you think something, you need to tell your partner.
tell them everything, before you don’t have that opportunity anymore.”

so i tell you babe, with all the love in my heart, im scared, and im so sorry that i am
but i need you to know that i am.
that wont stop me from fighting for this, with everything i’ve got, but i need you to know,
i am scared.

Oh, to be lost,
in the depths of desire,
like a fevered dream,
set alight by fire.

Her thoughts, a swirl,
of fantasies so wild,
each one a spark,
igniting passion’s child.

The beat of her heart,
a rhythm so fast,
matching the pulse,
of pleasure amassed.

Each touch, each caress,
a melody in tune,
sending her soaring,
to the heat of the moon.

Until at last, she finds release,
in the ecstasy, complete peace.
And there she lies, spent and warm,
curled in the aftermath, of love’s storm.

I gripped her hips, matching her rhythm, feeling her tightness envelop me. It was pure ecstasy. Every ******, every movement, sent waves of pleasure through me. I watched her, mesmerized by the way her body moved, the way her ******* bounced with each ******, the way her face contorted in pleasure.

I gazed upon her, ******* cast away,
Her thick hips swaying, a tantalizing display.
Each garment she shed, an invitation to sin,
My anticipation surged, aching to begin.

With deliberate grace, she unveiled her form,
My desire ignited, a feverish storm.
The sweet scent of her essence, a delicate tease,
Tickled my senses, brought me to my knees.

He strides with power, making hearts leap.
Not tall, dark, or handsome, yet a sight to see,
Big, black, and strong, raw intensity.

His skin, a deep brown, a warrior’s tale,
Scars map his body, a living trail.
Each mark a story of battles fought,
Victories won, and lessons taught.

A rugged face with a granite jaw,
Eyes like fire, wild and raw.
Intimidation mixed with thrill,
A promise of power, strong and still.

Beyond the fight, his passions flame,
For his lovere, his heart does claim.
A touch both tender, yet commanding,
Master of desire, ever expanding.

His caress a journey, his glance a vow,
In his arms, no resistance now.
A force magnetic, drawing near,
Igniting flames, dispelling fear.

A legend lives in shadows’ embrace,
Strength and desire, no one can trace.
In his presence, mysteries unfold,
A tale of power and passion, bold

Beneath the moonlight, where shadows gently play,
Our passion lingers, though night begins to sway.
With tender hands, I trace her silken skin,
A wordless vow, where our love begins.

Her whispers are the music of the night,
Soft echoes of our love, pure and bright.
In every touch, a story softly speaks,
Of dreams fulfilled and moments love seeks.

Under stars, in our haven we reside,
Two souls as one, with hearts open wide.
Her laughter, like a song, fills the night air,
A melody of joy that we both share.

As dawn emerges, with its gentle light,
I hold her close, embracing the sight.
For in her presence, my soul finds its grace,
A love eternal, in this sacred space.