sometimes I let myself be happy.
rarely, I relax just enough to feel it.
the calm wave, moving through my chest.

everything will be okay.

Tears down my face
that scream "I miss you,"
scratching the sheets
on your side of the bed,
reaching
reaching
reaching to hold on
but i'm kept awake
coughing up emptiness
tossing and turning
tossing and turning
forcing some sort of
hyperventilation
in an attempt to breathe.

As my heart beats slow back
to what I assume is normal
I catch my breath and repeat
"Inhale, exhale
Inhale, exhale
everything is okay."
And if it's not right now,
it will be.
The tears now whisper
a quiet and deep "I miss you"
as they trace down
the crevice of my lips
where I can only hope
that your mouth will meet me
when we're ready
back on your side of the bed.

Well if you're wanting honest,
sometimes I know it all.

I have said it before,
and with this, they will surely have a ball.

But here's another truth.
I know nothing at all

Blame it on my worldly youth,
certainly not the alcohol.

I have persisted in being right,
but self-righteous? I ain't that type.

Hollywood smile, and a body to match
Seemingly lovely, but there's certainly a catch.

Watch your sins and thy evil back.
I am of light, and in fact,
I am coming for atonement
of those opponents who lack
grace and love behind their backs

I AM SEEKING.
dethronement,in the form of modern day locust.
A plague on your houses, as I focus
on what you hide out of sight.
**I find my best days
come after ridding the world
of the longest and darkest nights.