Have you ever felt empty inside?
Have you ever felt that  feeling of nothingness in the pit of your stomach
and it just stays and lingers for a little while,
you can't tell if it's from the lack of emotions or food.
You say you have it under control when really it has control
One bite and your thighs are like balloons blowing up
Two bites and you are suddenly 10 pounds heavier.
Have you ever felt That beautiful feeling of a hot cup of tea going down your empty stomach almost as a warmth, cause it may be July but you are just so cold.
The concealers you use on your knuckles to hide the marks of when your teeth hit cause your finger
just can't empty out all the hate you have filling your stomach
this isn't a poem about getting better.
This is a poem of what it's like without the better ending
the story of the girl who starved her self with a plate before her.
How selfish she was.

Today I got lost while staring up into the popcorn ceiling
Being surrounded by family wasn't enough to hold my attention
Instead I paid a few precious seconds to the ceiling
I can't find the words to help me describe the feeling
I felt whole
The emptiness inside disappeared
For a few seconds I felt what it was like to let go, to let my mind cleanse itself of any emotion