anger should be expressed
not held up in your body
that only creates a huge mess

but the only thing i think of
when i see those red words
is the time when the tv
had to be so loud
it would drown out the screams
of my parents voices,
yelling at each other

that was my safe place
a maxed out volume on a tv
on a paisley print couch
watching a 90s show

now the only safe place i seem to find
is the one where my headphones blare in my mind
or when i’m at a concert
second row, or barrier crowd
the bass so loud,
all those red words
they seem to disappear

there’s days i can’t have that
and those days i explode
those days are the days i’ve been coded
*disassociated