They say loyalty is the most important
I beg to differ

Honesty

If you can't give me that
Then you have nothing to give me

I'm unrecognizable.
That's what they say when they identify you by your teeth. When they can't make out any of your features from any of your photos. Your voice is changed and your legs are weak and unproductive.
'Omm neon zebra' she says,
'on beyond' is what it is.
Push those fingers in your mouth
"Omfph Beyamph".
I'm so frustrated in the attempt to communicate.
To rip through the ceiling and stab out towards the darkness.
No words.. but sounds,
terribly dangerous sounds.
No one knows your name
and it never really mattered just the same.

But now we can communicate.
I am not sure what cause this sort of block.
Under normal circumstances I suppose it's human.
To access so much of ourselves mentally.
Yet physically remain mute.
An attempt to be funny. Charismatic.
To yearn the manifestation of being represented such as a memory.
For some it's easy. It becomes culture.
Ignoring this association of fear.
Although slight. We begin to judge ourselves.
In fight beyond a couple of seconds that leads to bliss.
The things that have yet developed.
The possibility that things may not.
But definitely something is there. Reflected from the light of eyes.
Self doubt in light of holding back.
Yet we've evolved.
We've evolved into a splitting image of what we adorn.
The critique of what eyes see & what ears have heard.
We've thought in different ways of what binds.
Now we communicate.
To better service our needs, our wants.
We've binged them all.
Knowing all of our favorite parts, to speak hesitantly about the bad.
We recite them only in private.
Ignoring the kick backs and *** lucks that begin with pleasure.
It begins with the closed culture of what feels foreign
to no longer recite in mental.
Now we communicate

I'm not the best at listening
I'm even worse at talking
Even texting is impossible these days
But poetry comes from my soul
What I fail to express regularly
Flows so easily through this medium
If you feel the same then maybe that's why we do this
It feels like a game
And maybe it appeals to the kids within us
A serious, lighthearted way to communicate
That also pushes us to write more
We were always good at testing each other

As for the memory of pancakes
I remember it a bit differently
You were trying to hold back tears
And I remained passive and cold
It's not a thought I enjoy revisiting
That entire weekend was a challenge
We pushed each other to the edge
Waiting to see who'd fall first
Clearly it was me

I was wrong in so many ways
I know that better than anyone
And maybe I should've waited
I shouldn't have left so long
But I wasn't in bed with another
I was trying to sober up enough to get home safely
Sure it was a bit excessive in time
And I'm sorry I made you wait so long
But I was a drunk mess and I couldn't get home that way

I didn't mean to take advantage of you
I didn't mean to hurt you
Obviously, I did
And still do I'm sure
But those were never my intentions
I do care for you
It's all very complicated and stressful
I wish I could make it easier for us both
But I don't haven't figured out how yet

I write a poem
You write a poem
We write to each other
In hopes that the other will read it
Hear our words
Feel our pain
And yet we don't talk about it
We don't talk at all
Except through our scripted feelings
These thoughts pour out of me
Freezing into words on a screen
But what do they mean?
What do they change?
It's ok to love someone and not be with them
But it's hard to know when that applies
And actions are trickier than words
But here we are
Putting our art
And our hearts
Out there for the world to read
For each other to see
Feeling
Loving
Thinking
And yet we don't speak

We were writers in love
And now we're writers in agony

Whenever my heart pours it's content,
I believe it splashes not humans.
For every sound I capture is not speech
but people spewing literature.