I swear I-I never wanted to trap a butterfly

It's all my fault
shards of ceramic scattered in disarray
It's so surreal
scattered soil, cautious footsteps
an unsettling sight, distorted situation
The roots' exposed

I have no right to cry
After all
I broke your heart
didn't I?

I tried to get past the past, but
all I know is loss
all I do is grieve
All I hear is ambient noise
Ringing through my head
all I know is violence
all I do is parkour

And avoid the feeling

Checked out
found the exit
and chose
To grieve you today
Cause I can't bare the thought of losing you sometime down the road
When you hate me
And regret me
and we'll be screaming about all your wasted time

I can't be what you want me to be
And I know I'm not what you need
I don't know the person in your head
But I know it's a concept I can't complete
And you can't handle the person I am

I swear I never, I never wanted to trap a butterfly

Please, believe me
I swear it wasn't my intention
I didn't mean anything by it
I only wanted to escape
For a moment
See all the colors before I go blind
No worries, no responsibilities
Fill my lungs at the top of the world

Running through
crowded places
And you grab my hand
before
I
get
hit
by
speeding
cars

I don't understand
how did you get me laughing

It must've been the caffeine
For a moment
the geranium almost thrived

Now I'm too old to be
Drinking alone at noon
Pretty pink drinks
As pretty as Dianthus in spring  
Is that what you meant
When you were explaining your feelings?

Well, the bartender is adorable
But I can't bare to look at brown eyes full of pity
Like they can see right through me

I swear I-I never, I never wanted to trap a butterfly

So I leave
And
Speeding
cars
are
honking
loud and angry
almost hit me
Hilarious
If only
then I could
finally escape
and I can
finally feel...
Nevermind
It doesn't matter

Poison slips into the cracks and crevices
Under the skin
Down the throat
Into the lungs
Behind the ribs
Irreversible structural damage
nectar of dissolution
Dissolve the heart

You know who you are

I swear I never wanted to **** a butterfly

Venus flytrap

In the silence of my being,
I find my peace.
Like butterflies, free and light,
my soul flies far and wide.

The peace within me, so tender and beautiful,
like the wings of a butterfly in the sunshine.
My heart beats gently, in harmony with the world,
my own peace that rests and illuminates within me.

Every time he gets closer
I take a step back
I tell myself don’t ever
become too attracted

Fear of commitment makes me wanna run
Whenever I hear the word love or trust
Cause those words are hard to come by
And they like to fly away like butterflies

They’re futile lies gone too soon
That slip away from grasping hands
And they flutter up some other room
They didn’t remain, do you understand?
They united some other bride and groom

Futile lies and butterflies

I am endless /
Butterfly of Virginality /
I summon thee /
Unto me, /
I do. /

Endless night /
Endless day /
Simultaneously /
Entwinement, /
Intertwinement, /

Of all fathomed, /
Impossible, yet now it is /
Through the thew, through the sinew, /
Of the spirit: /
Hallowed it is! /

many will know the beauty
of a butterfly's wing
and the delicate intricacy
of their decoration
those swathes of colour
meandering boldly in flight
a proclamation of
             their presence
             their providence
whose startling eyespots
can mimic the stolid gaze
of the stern and the alluring
observing in judgement
or perhaps in wonder
blinking only as they flutter
flattered disbelieving
yet there are reminders
in that Rorschach patterning
that those with ill intent
should observe
threats and
             warnings overlooked
by those in admiration
of such beauty
where few will heed
that gossamer fragility
broken by any
not considerate enough
in their handling

dedicated to the one that got away

hey there butterfly, five months ago you were still in college. you were nervous because it was your final semester and you were stressed out because of the workload. you met someone, butterfly. god, he was so pretty and magnificent.. saccharine as honey he was, extremely understanding and just so easy to converse with. so you indulged in him more and spent time with him. spent nights together after long evenings of work, embracing one another’s company in various ways. there was a spark that neither of you could deny and so the genesis of your relationship began. you belonged; with him, the comfort of him, and just in the space of happiness provided to you. you belonged there. you deserved it.

hey there butterfly, he introduced you to his friends and called you his. could you feel it? your heart beating when the word mine came out of his lips.. the smile not once leaving your face for the rest of the night as you all hung out. you competed in several tournaments, and each tournament he was rooting for you every time. he was extremely proud of you in anything you worked hard for and never once forgot to let you know. you deserved this, a man by your side that could appreciate you in many aspects.

hey there butterfly, you did it! you graduated. you graduated and he was able to see you walk across the stage. could you feel it? the warm feeling in your chest knowing that he watched you accomplish something so life changing? that support was something you’ll never forget, isn’t that right? having someone so amazing by your side willing to be here for you through anything has made you glow, butterfly. you’re beautiful and you deserved this.

hey there butterfly, are your wings broken? that was quite a fall you took there. could you feel it? the rope not budging as you pulled and pulled to give him the support you knew he deserved? you comforted him during his hard times and you gave it your all.. but in the end it wasn’t enough and you can’t make someone stay if they have no desire to do so. i know he’s gone now and something in you hopes he comes home but you know it’ll be okay eventually though, right? no matter the obstacle whether big or small, you must never falter. if it’s meant to be then it will be. you are beautiful and you are so strong.. you deserve the universe. you’ve been taking care of everyone but now it’s time to take care of yourself. you’ve gotten yourself hurt again, butterfly. you will be okay one day. it hurts now but know that there is nothing you can’t handle. you are so special, butterfly.. you don’t deserve any of this pain but it will get better. i love you, butterfly..

A Spicebush Swallowtail
sipping nectar all day
Summer time is here.

A Spicebush Swallowtail
sipping nectar all day
Summer time is here.

our love was
temporary
but we were
beautiful

Haiku butterfly
sips nectar from word flowers
makes a poem grow