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Nov 2014
My brain is confused
My brain is confused
My brain is confused

My brain is a broken record
Repeating things until I comprehend

I lost my favorite sweater
Man that was my favorite sweater
God ****** that was my favorite sweater

This is where I tear apart my room
This is where I throw things
This is where I start to yell
This is where I cry
And cry
And cry
I am so ******* stupid its just a sweater
This is where I move on

My brain is confused
I look at life like it's a movie
I don't need to worry about school
My degree will just happen
Love will just happen
Life will just happen
Then I freak out when I remember my life isn't scripted

My brain is confused
I'm happy that I'm sad
But I'm angry
about being happy that I'm sad

I cry when I'm happy
I cry when I'm sad
I cry when I'm angry
My brain is confused

Nobody loves me
But I have a friend who will hold me till I can breathe again
And I have a friend who will talk me down from suicide... Again.
And I have a nephew who thinksΒ Β I'm his world
And I have a father who gives me money for food
Even though I haven't asked for his care for over a year
But nobody loves me
My brain is confused

I don't remember last year
I don't remember last night
But I feel like I remember tomorrow
My brain is confused

My vision is blurry
But I can see my thoughts
With open eyes
They stand in front of me
They talk to me when I'm lonely
And I know they aren't real
But my brain is confused

I want to dance all night
Even when I'm stuck sitting up in bed
So my mind races
Batman
Cookies
Unicorns
I want my teddy bear
I want a hug
I want love
Now I'm sad
Now I'm scared
Now I can't breathe
I need to move
Its 2 am but I need to move
I need to move
I can't
I can't breathe
I can't breathe
I'm shaking
I'm trembling
I'm convulsing
But I'm moving
I'm moving
I can breathe
I can breathe
I sleep

I wake up at noon
Tired
Exhausted
Zombie
I don't want to move
I don't want to move
It 4 pm and I still haven't ate
Its getting dark and I still haven't moved
Now its 2 am and
My mind races and
I need to move
And I rinse
And repeat till I comprehend
But I won't comprehend
Because my brain is confused
My brain is confused
My brain is confused
Kira Nerys
Written by
Kira Nerys  22/F
(22/F)   
2.8k
     --- and Mayte
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