My past is seeking me out again
The stupidity of my past ignorance and sin

We'd stay up all night and speak of places we would roam
He moved me far away from home


He moved me away from family and friends
I didn't relize my future was growing dim

I was in love, he kept his demons well hid
If I'd just known some of the things he had did


I soon was pregnant, unable to defend
That's when the beatings begin

I would of ran but there was no where to go
So far from home with a young one in tow


My illusional happy family dissolved
A happy future from me is STILL getting robed

This drunken alcoholic fool
Was particularly cruel

Daily beatings a must
Hands around my throat in disgust

Have him arrested, out the next day
"Boy, ***** will you pay"


Years go by and three children latter
Things are much worse the punishment greater

Can't leave him now, know for a fact he will **** me
He'd bury my body deep, he'd never set me free

Then he would be raising my kids, a terrifying thought
And all of my suffering would of been for naught


One drunken and now cracked up night
He told me to go and I took flight

Raised four kinds on my own
Over 17 year and every 2 or 3 years always making his presence known

He can fill my heart with fear
I seen him today he's in my town..........his near

Dear heart,
how could thou hold still all tis while?
how could thou beat all forms of throbbing and hurting?
how could thou hold?
how could thou?

I am unworthy of thy service
I am unworthy of thy trust
I am unworthy of anything
for I fall and I break
I never learned

I am fragile
I am stubborn
I am weak,
and that is trouble

If I were thou and you were I
I should be in trouble
for you know the mind and will are sometimes lost
Oh dear heart,
how will I ever repay you?

A black fist
Rough hands
The smell of alcohol
Smoke in your lungs
And in your mouth
Tears don't stop the pain
Welts and bruises are the evidence
But no one looks, nor cares
Who notices what is hidden well...