I am trapped
between worlds where I am nothing and I am everything
I am in pieces
cornered by spirits I never knew existed
in the sunny days of childhood
Where I draw graves and fear the sound of a gun
Where I do as I should but am told I am not enough
Where the salt in my tears became a familiar taste
Where I wish that my grades measured my worth
because I had prefect grades but a flawed personality
I am floating
on a high of self appreciation
but have I gone too far?
have I turned into him?
my empathy feels like overcompensation
sincerity engulfs my actions
have I turned into him?

I see the world in bombshells.
I see the world in pastels
Dripping down the stairwell,
Feeling bittersweet.

I bargain for my time awake.
I bargain for the past mistake
Clogging up my mind’s intake,
Feeling obsolete.

My plans were lofty, my plans were grand.
But now I’m drowning in a sea of hands.

I **** my idols because I can.
I **** my idols to be a man
Shredding my hopes inside a fan,
Feeling incomplete.

I see the world in pastels, bleached and beautiful.