"Always become the one being hurt
Rather than ever hurting another"
Words I have strived to live by
The philosophy left by my mother

I've always tried to live my life
Standing up for what is right
Helping others no matter the cost
Being everyone's shining knight

What a horrible way to live

Even when I was on the verge of breaking
Even when the burden seemed too large
I always took it onto myself
And it was always free of charge

They all need to pay

But lately there is this voice
Echoing from the back of my mind
That is always fighting to take over
It wants to punish the unkind

Maybe I don't want to forgive

Tell me who is that inside me
Those thoughts can't be my own
Even when there's no one around
Somehow I am not alone

Just let me come out and play

I'm trying to keep it at bay
Am I past the point of no return?
I JUST WANT THE VOICE TO GO AWAY
But.... *Now....it's my turn

i want to know what it's like to not feel anything instead of everything coming at me full force and repeatedly crashing into me until all that's left of me is tormenting feelings of uselessness and broken "i'm sorry"s and i want to know what it's like to not feel anything instead of the smallest things tearing my heart to shreds wondering how and why they held so much power in the first place. i want to know what it's like to be on the opposite side of the way i feel i want to be happy and full of joy again and i want to be happy to live instead of dragging myself around each and every day wallowing in a sea of self-pity that i swim in every day until i finally drown myself in at night when i can't sleep at 3am because i'm awake wondering what it's like to be anyone but me. i can't escape these horrible feelings because i can't run away from myself and that's the saddest truth i've ever had to live with

When humanity loses their beacon
Future plummets to deepest chasms
No light to welcome the future
No hands to hold, in our weaknesses
Only shenanigans
Will finally obliterate us
Leaving this celestial space lonelier

A long day of shadows--
Never glisten the meadows---
We have chosen the wrong--
Day by day,
We have almost forgotten
that divine song,
Losing the spiritual light of the god---
Moving ourselves in a darkness broad----

I see the sky has grown red crucified--
The spiritual light is being satisfied---
The Satan is being terrified--  
Mother Mary becomes merriment---
That her holy son again removes the darken---
We are wondering again to be unified-
The earth is growing with magnified---

Flowers aroma blowing amour of love
The children singing the reception's song,
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas!!

Angels play divine melody--
Truths coming too merrily--
We are waiting for the light of the prophet (Jesus)
in the darkness of the horizon---

I'm not sure what's more painful
the fact that someone is struggling to live
or watching them as they slowly die
knowing that there is nothing you can do.

What does it feel like when you die?
Is it scary?
Is it calming?
Does it feel like black waters ******* you down under,
and pulling you towards a different light and surface?

If there are such things as ghosts,
which I believe there are.
Then that must mean there is some sort of afterlife, right?
Energy can not be created or destroyed,
so where does it go when we die?

What does it mean to die anyway?
I'm still not sure if I know the reason.
Is it a great sacrifice for a cause that we yet do not know
is it a symbol that makes us remember what we hold dear to us?

Or is it much darker than that?
Could it be a way to suffocate us
in the quicksand that is the hour glass of our lives?
Crushing us as we squeeze through the narrow center
and causing our life to be put on hold.
For we can not move forwards,
we can not move at all.

How could something so inevitable
still be a huge mystery?
It's like the one locked door
that every child avoids
until one kid somehow opens it.
All the adults will call him foolish,
but he is brave.

Is it wrong to want to understand the unknown?
Is it wrong to want some answers?
Well I know it isn't wrong,
I just wish I could do something.
But I can't.
Now i'm helpless
and constantly failing.

All I got out of these questions,
my experiences is,
I just know better than most
that some things are better left a mystery.

One must discover it on their own
to ever truly comprehend it.