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  Aug 2016 Swanswart
Little Bear
never has my heart ached
so much
as to see the nightmare unfold
i have shed the tears
only fit for a funeral
and when you are done
i will be here
i will paint colours today
as bright as the sky
more than rainbows
as big as the ******* moon
and dip my brush in my tears to clean
to rid my deep
of you
glitter will fill my room
and flowers bloom
i will play music
and shake the earth today
i will tear down every wall
to wipe you out
break every glass
and eat the shards
so i don't have the ******* taste of you
in my mouth
rip out my ******* veins
to purge your ******* venom
i don't know how to unfeel this hate
hate hurts
and bleeds on my hands
and everything i touch
will be tainted
but i won't have that
no ******* way
you've danced me in my life
long enough
*******
my meat suit never looked good on you anyway
you didn't even have the opposable thumbs
to do the buttons up
how do you process hate?
it ******* hurts
like a foreign body
wearing mine
again
an outpouring of grief
upon the ground
my heart aches
aches
i want to take it out
history repeats repeats repeats.. like cucumbers :D
i still don't feel hate, or anything close for this one, only hate for the things that were done.
Swanswart Aug 2016
This poem is green
Would you buy this poem?

This poem is do-it-yourself
backyard garden green.
This poem is save the world
give peas a chance green;
this poem is azure sky
squeezing the golden sun
all over the world green.
Could you buy this poem?

This poem is apples and oranges
farmer’s artist market green.
This poem has
leaves as pillows
and blankets as grass;
this poem is a lil’ patch of green
earth purchase me plot;
this poem is  
100%
recyclable
disposable,
sustainable
  (after all it has gotten this far)
You should buy this poem.

This poem is green,
its’ tyro-technics
shooting out of asphalt cracks.
This poem is a snot-nosed brat
full of SASS
(short attention span sentences)
This poem is the hope of audacity.
This poem is fumbling with bra straps
and tongue-tied techniques,
this poem isn’t old enough
to know any better, it’s wet
behind the ears green
petting zoo pellets green
willing to SCREAM green
but not part of
a gang green
this poem is all alone
with its words
Buy this poem?

This poem is green
Its envious of
solar panel studios with eyes on the price
of a venti economy
This poem is the green-eyed monster
of product placement pick-o-the profit
This poem WANTS to make
consumer obedience the easy culprit.
But really…
This poem just wishes it could sing
Won’t you buy this poem?

This poem is green.
This poem has no half-life,
shelf life or
night life.  
This poem exists solely in this moment
of your imagination.

This poem has milk carton desperation.
This poem is begging for change.
This poem was stolen from all of you.
This poem is not for sale.
Buy This Poem!
Swanswart Aug 2016
I bought myself a gun today.
I’ll give you a moment to process the mental paper work.
Is he serious?
Is this guy for real?
Is this a metaphor? Is it loaded?  

Are these questions
you might ask?
Isn’t this supposed to be a poem?

I said I bought myself a gun today.
Do you feel better?
Safer?
Do I
seem more dangerous?
Are my words more weighted now--
with violence?
with virility?
with *******?
Are you looking at my crotch
for an extra bulge?
How do you feel
about me now
knowing that I’m packing?

I bought myself a gun today,
And just like that
I’m a gangsta upholding the second amendment.
I’m a citizen of the constitution
holding up my right
to bear arms,
and raise my hand in a fist--
a fist, that’s gripped in tension
a fist that’s an extension
           of man and invention
           and I really should mention
          I can blow your ******* head off
          without the slightest intention.

I bought myself a gun today,
Are you scared:
that I don’t know how to use it?
That it might want to use me?
That I might become
overwrought with emotions,
and respond to an argument
“Arnold” style with, an,
   “I’ll be back?”--
that I might settle things
once and for all
with my noisy neighbor
in a language he might finally understand?
Are you scared?

I bought myself a gun today.
Does that make you worry?
You know what the statistics say,
That I have a better chance of shooting
myself,
than some intruder,
or mugger, or ******
or therapist even.
Are you worried about my self-destruction?
that I might I might accidentally
have an
accident?
Or, maybe, you may think,
that it might be on purpose?
that I might be singing
the, “Barrel-in-the-mouth blues?”--
not just fantasizing
about ‘em,
but singing ‘em with a with my mouth wide open,
and feeling them for real for real:
feeling the cold steel ‘cross
my tongue,
choking
on the taste of cordite,
really singing, “I can’t breathe,”
and how much
this ***** and having
the means to put and end to it all--
Are you worried about that?
If you are
then don’t,
‘cause I’m not thinking about that at all.

I bought myself a gun today.
Wouldn’t it be great
if we all could say:

I bought myself a gun today.
Swanswart Aug 2016
I’ve quit the meaning and let the end fall
my subscription to America has just expired
and the soundtrack of furniture echoes down the hall

Oh lucky day in the shadows of this pall
this war of regrets is truly uninspired
I’ve quit the meaning and let the end fall

I’m fearful of this symmetry and the mirror on the wall
slept in stolen moments without even being tired
and the soundtrack of furniture echoes down the hall

I no longer need a lover I bought myself a doll
Hi-def latex silicon chip wired
I’ve quit the meaning and let the end fall

Ring tone homily I don’t want to take this call
practicing excuses and the will of being fired
and the soundtrack of furniture echoes down the hall

TV dreams for me and I swear that that is all
folks at home getting idols of the mired
I’ve quit the meaning and let the end fall
and the soundtrack of furniture echoes down the hall
Swanswart Aug 2016
a spartan room

you on the futon
me on the floor

flashing lights
from the street

from the shadows
you blinked in

and out
soundlessly

your toes curled
the ceiling rippled

without words
we were  

caught in between
I saw you

seeing me
not in those splashes

but in those caverns
of absence
Swanswart Aug 2016
I

Home
inside the house of the lording
a frenzied pumping play.

Within
the colander
pouring the mold—
an altar of fetid sacrifice
and perfumed devotion.
My personal Pentecost (conversion
out of form)
My feats are handed to me far
ahead of my own devices.
Filling it up
Faster! Filling Faster!
Draining filling faster filling!
faster faster!

Violet lids are locked open in a rose
colored stare of thorns.
Puddles form opaque
and uneasy across the floor.
Ripples flex and bend-
a taste of lavender sweat and kisses
washes across my tongue
the flavors coagulate obscenely
stirring thirsty petitions
for more

II

The sunlight slits its way through the shutter
to rest upon the floor.
It strolls languidly across the breadth of the room
defying perception with a cadence
that patiently consumes the afternoon
Within
the anxious minutes struggle to keep pace





III
Speaking with the tongues
of omens and devils
Love is nothing
and I am less
Charity is the anchor
and compassion the straight-jacket
Lies! Lies!
Memory is privy to the cure.
I am up to my ankles in defeat
Wading through my room in shackles
a supine sense of clemency
bends my knees in prayer
Mercy! Mercy!
Mercy-
for the barbarians and schemers
and those who long for sleep
for the bleeders and the healers
and the **** crowd that pays to watch
for the hidden and the hiding
the blind,  the short-sighted, and the bell gatherer on a leash
for those who have never seen their own spectacle
and for those who have yet couldn’t laugh
Mercy! Mercy!
Mercy to all
Without

IV

Within
the pool rises
In genuflection I supplicate my position
Surrounded by the baptismal abyss
I contemplate immersion
into the excrement
I have poured about myself
A frivolous query of destruction complete
It’s a sprite idea
a fairy thought
flirting with my insensibilities
teasing my degrees with magic and trance
with spells that bind the curious
to moonless night visits
and the breaching
of hoary sepulchers alone
Filling! Faster! Faster!
Draining! Faster! Faster!
Filling Draining Filling
Faster! Faster! Faster!
The colander is engulfed
within

V

Afloat in the mire
of ponderous subversion
excess has risen heavy upon my heart
swelling about my neck
with rigorous aplomb
licking my lips with tar and suffrage
To my feet
I must stand!
I must keep my head above
and chin up

Gut-check drench and saturate
seeping into my passions
seething out of my skin
and into my dreams
sealing me inside myself
It is an epiphany of osmosis
Sangfroid boiled to satiety.

An emancipation?
Is this contentment I feel?
Could this be...
I AM FUFILLED
if but for this fleeting
whim of a moment
I’ll take the burden as luxury
my soul rings with ******
my body shudders with dissolve
I am without—
Time
Needs
A Home




VI
I catch the last shards
of sunlight lingering
upon the far wall
Glowing
So alive in those last few moments
bright as language
etching vivid accomplishment
fading
memory
gone

VII

Ecstasy is swallowed in desperation
a flotsam and jetsam exchange
Grasp-breath beg and flurry
for space
wallowing head-full pleading
swimming in vibrant exhaustion
I writhe back into my skin
like a womb worm foraging
for original flesh

The casket ceiling offers me
Othello’s kiss
I see the cacography on the wall
and it’s my eulogy
blind as a battering ram I am
the walls before me
the colander cloys
the cullion claws
the cauldron is full


Boiling drown the barricade
the gallowed decision
is no simmering reaction
to the pangs of entropy
The filling has ended
my effluence has trickled to a halt
A maelstrom opens
draining Draining DRAINING
Within





VII

Without
The vortex rages
a frenzied drowning dirge
my eyes scour the darkness
scrubbing the void for light
The nothingness gawks back
shadows swirl in the pit
of my stare
I close my eyes in defiance
turning my gaze to the visions
Within
My thoughts are black
my dreams are black
my mind is an obsidian landscape
of residue and remnants
purged in the strain
of the colander
within.
Swanswart Aug 2016
The bubbling bits, the melted crayons,
the wads of cellophane,
the loogie hocked up,
accidentally,
on the face of a loved one.  
the picture booth refrain.
The K mart moment, the screaming kid--
your kid (your screams) your blue light special in aisle
number nine, #9, no. IX.
The bar code ritual,
the magazines, the chamber, the Better Homes
and Gardens, the tomato worm majesty and sci-fi reality;
the 45 that skips, that skips,
that skips
the rubber cement execution.
The antiques, the answering machine genius,
the message,
the quit.
The key that would never fit
(even though it was really the right one after all.)
The said and done, the leftovers, the flat screen TV,
the belly in effigy, the remote,
the space in between
her ears and her heart.  
The cards, the paper cuts,
the canopy of foil on an ancient afternoon.
The bar room, the bare room, the broom swept
corner of the attic.  
The memories, the empty frame,
the carousel stare into the light.
the left behind,
the clouds in the sink,
the feeling you get
when you let
the microwave
be
a weapon.
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