You can hold a light for all to see
and never be seen yourself.

I sailed from 9.39am
all the way to 10.15

travelling far
all inside my head

in so little a time.

i probably shouldn't
but i already have
so don't try to stop me now
i don't want to die anyhow
just trying to mask the hurt
it's been two years to the day
i feel no better
i feel no worse
i just know bile gathers in my throat
and tears well up in my eyes
and i still remember the phone call
when they told me you died
oh how i cried
how i still cry
we cry
as a community
you gave us immunity
to the bad
you proved God would prevail
we saw you stumble at times
but never did you fail
a dad
a brother
a friend
why did your life have to end?

and every time this year i can't sleep
just a pile of pillows at my feet
the alcohol just gave me a headache
so i move on to something stronger
as i wait for it to get easier
the night just gets longer
midnight strikes and the day is here
and you're still gone
dead
like a retired song
just when i thought my heart was healed
it's remained broken all along
come on friend
come back and laugh again
hug me like you used to
fill me with that everlasting life
the beauty of you
in this empty void of grievance
in that absence
***** and pills will have to do

i ain't proud, no
but you had to go
and that's okay
i will be alright
i will get through this day

She is walking in beauty
With a smile of purity,
Her hairs glimmering like gold
With the help of setting sun,
To her it is untold
That her beauty is the cause of my heart burn.

Like every day I still looking at her
As much as I seeing her
In every minute I am going too close to her
But in every second she is going too far.

Like another day again
She is goings away
Like another day again
I still looking at her left way.

I never told her
That I love her
More than myself,
And I don’t think
I will be able to tell it myself

My voice is too quiet to be heard.
My words are too hidden to be read.
So why forsake my loyal bed
for a crusade that was born dead?

Success is your end.
It drains from you what disaster should.
You did what you did.
But not what you could.

Now you are alone.
An unending torrent of everything you had.
Finished.

Waiting for the next gauntlet to run.
The next challenge to beat.
To rouse the beast.
And justify the breath you take.

i feel my mind getting sicker
polluted by my constant being alone
i suppose i have ambitions but my unsettling disregard for how my life turns out clouds every corner of my thoughts
i rather dabble with alcoholism than improve my art
i rather block out all the noise of the world with music every day and every night than try harder to graduate
i rather drive myself insane stuffing every issue inside my head to mingle with my frustration and befriend my sadness than simply tell people how i feel
i rather die than live to age 30 and see my beauty fade right before my eyes
i rather pull away from great people than risk them trying to analyze what my impulsive and irrational actions mean
this is how it feels to hit rock bottom at seventeen

You turn my blood into flames,
like forest fires racing through my veins.

You create the beauty of natural disasters within my skin.
I just can't help but let you in.

But, I've learned that with the beauty comes the destruction.

My brain scrambles when I look into your eyes,
Your words flow like sand cascading through my hands.

Your words are not lies.
They cannot be lies.

These words must be the sweetest corruption I've ever tasted.