Here it comes again.
The stinging of the nose and eyes
that gives rise to tears rushing,
color flushing out from the recesses of your face,
the airhorn that signals your heart to start to race.
All of the ****** secrets in life, all at once,
become painfully clear.
As if we are in a car with no brakes or wheel,
we do not feel
as if we can steer off this crash course.
Like a dead horse that nobody will stop beating,
your weaknesses begin retreating
to the most obvious places in your body.

This is one of those times
where depression becomes less like an ailment
and more like an obsession.
Leaving you smashed
on the sidewalk of your life,
just trying to hold on that extra while longer.
If it's ever been a question
of who's weaker or stronger,
then it clearly has been a losing hand
since the begginning.
You're not winning this one.
But we are the victors, us who managed
to survive ourselves.
To dust off photo albums off happier times
off forgotten and ignored shelves.
We are still here
and the end to this suffering is near.

Just hang on.

That ******* the corner,
she used to have dreams.
Now she only has deadlines.

I have so much more
to offer
than just tears.

There are some that live with their lives,
walking around with their heads bowed
to keep tears hidden.
Bed-ridden from the sound
of their own steady heartbeat.
With little thought to spare,
some turn to religion just so they can feel
like they have a prayer.
When every dream is a nightmare
And they tear open every morning
to reveal reality,
just to remind you it is still there.
Despite all our best hopes,
there will be no escape from our binds.
For everyone who finds the rope
instead of support,
let this be the rapport by which
your memory still will echo within us.
To lift an entire heavenly choir to your name
and your legacy.
We will not forget you.
Until there is no one left to pass your torch.
The children you never had are echoes
bouncing off flesh and bone,
finding no way out amongst your corpse.
They will die with you,
as much as your memory eventually will follow suit.
The mute will one day find the voice
to cry out for the horrors done to you,
but until then, you must fight on
so you can live to see that day.
When every exit looks like another highway to hell,
you must find it within you to dwell
only in the light places
, to turn to friendly faces
no matter the pain,
to make all the slings and arrows hurled against you
thrown in vain.
We will not forget you,
but only if you are willing to echo
in our ears just a while longer.
. Flow like a river and
blow open this world like a volcano.
Leave your torments behind you on the bus home,
they will never reach you again.

On a payphone in Swift Current I am calling you
on a road leading nowhere the miles stretch before me
like burning crosses telephone wires so hot
they send sparks flying through the sky
no sun shines here but my skin feels...thought you'd want
to know about the man who gave me this cigarette he tried
to buy my love with smoky dreams do you understand? my need
my addiction I am striking a match S.O.S. to your heart

The big green sign says I am only three hundred miles shy
of holding you still I had to call say hello/goodbye
and somewhere in between I miss you perhaps
my love will remain in this land endless towers of wheat
desolate and beautiful