i want you
in every way there is to want a person

from lazy rainy days
sitting around in underwear
wrapped up in the covers
enveloped in each other

to lustful late nights
high happy and in love
too absorbed with each other
to focus on anything else

i want you
and i see so much in you
that counting all your perfections
would be like counting the stars
there's too many to keep track of
and they just seem endless

i am utterly in love
with every inch of your being
every corner of your mind
and everything in between

i might not know what i believe
or where i'm going
or what i'm doing
but i do hope
you'll hold my hand
and wander blindly with me
because as long as i'm with you
i don't need a destination
you are the journey

i am simply enamored with your entity
captivated by your character
fascinated
infatuated
amorous
in love

you and i
we felt hopeless
full of regrets and bad choices
but that never stopped me from wanting you
even now
i fall asleep with you in my head
hoping you'll follow
so i can be with you
happy
even if temporary

s.s

you broke her

she is sitting in the bathroom
crying so hard she's blacking out from lack of oxygen because she can't breathe
and her hands are shaking more than usual
as her whole body contracts into a little ball where she screams through tears because no one's there to hear her

you broke her

and even if you are talking again you still left
and she still rushes to the restroom in school
to break down in the empty stall where no one can see
so she can pretend she is stronger than she really is

you broke her

she no longer likes waking up in the morning
because she already had problems before but now she seems to think that she will never be good enough
so many people have made her feel that way and now you're just another one on the list
and she has to face that every **** day

you broke her

she loved you
so
*******
much
and now whenever she tries to sleep you plague her thoughts so she is restless
numb and broken unable to piece together what happened
still confused by your actions

you broke her

and the only thing she can manage to think
is why
why
why

to the boy
who is learning
my favorite song
on piano
just to make
me smile
thank you
for reminding me
that some boys are sweet
like the melodies you play
and not all
are nails on chalkboard

s.s

"How do you fall out of love?
You don't talk with them, you'll fall into old habits. You go to the place you got together and fill it with new memories, so meeting them will be just another one in the past. You wash your sheets and clothing so nothing smells like them. You distract yourself so your brain eventually gets used to not thinking about them. You list everything that made them perfect and tell yourself these qualities can exist in anyone. You tell yourself that it means nothing when you hear their laugh again, everyone has one. Above all, you accept that none of this will work. You can't make yourself fall out of love, all you can really do is wait."

- Excerpt from a book I'll never write #623 (s.s)

you're losing me
fast

everyday my hope for us
diminishes
and a future between us
lessens  
the crave to be close
crumbles

i want to be yours
you be mine
and for it to be public
not quick arm brushes
and afternoon visits

i love you
and you're losing me
i think i lost you long ago
what are we, i don't even know

i want to stick around
to wait it out
but more than that, i want to be together
the title we once had
and everyday
i believe a little more
that it's a hopeless cause
and i can feel myself giving up

you still have my heart
and i love you no less
but i can feel the final end approaching

i miss the small things
holding your hand, soft kisses, and tight hugs
just talking and calling you when i can't sleep
i miss you

i want us more than anything
but i fear being ****** over
why am i holding on to something
that's ended
maybe because i can't get over you

you're losing me
faster than i care for
does that mean anything to you

s.s

you lost someone
who only wanted
to give you the world
i hope the thought
of destroying someone
who cared more about you
than any of your friends
keeps you up at night
i wanted you to be happy
they use you to get high
i hope you feel awful
for being an *******
and not just being
honest
i hope this hurts
it should

s.s

tell me you miss me
i will laugh with tear filled eyes
it was your choice love

s.s

if he called me up
at three in the morning
or came tapping at my walls
calling my name
i would lose
my few hours of sleep
just to hear his voice
and anything he had to say

s.s