you visited my dreams last night-
it’s not fair to me
to have you fill my mind
right when you left it

here i am being held by someone else
but somehow you flood my mind
    your smile (and how it’s different than his)
    the way you looked at me (and how your eyes seemed to shine  
    brighter)
    how at peace i felt (versus feeling nothing at all now)
how silly am i
to pine over someone
who has shown me how expendable i am to him

i don't know why
i thought
loving you
was ever a
good idea

Here I am
It's just me
No more hiding behind 'what ifs' and the people that always leave
I have lost so much with you-
     time, hope, trust, dignity
And I don't know if I'll ever be able to get it back
     the late nights we've had
     the laughs
     the love
     the lies
I keep reminding myself that everything happens for a reason
And that I'm supposed to be learning something
But all I'm seeing is how wrong I can be
     how easily I believe lies because I like the way they sound
     how easily I lose myself in someone else
     how scared I am of losing you again (and losing myself in the   process)
I gave you so much of me that I'm not sure what'll be left when you leave