i am not a flower
i do not need your sunshine to grow.
i am trying to be fine on my own.
rain or snow
do not get close.
i’ll be fine on my own.
although
I won't sleep most nights,
not because I'm lonely
it will be because
I'm scared when
time swallows me whole
and forces me to remember
how it stung in the shower
last December.

T’was the night before Christmas
And in his outhouse
Sat Ja quietly listening        
To waltz’s, by Strauss.
(Really, he was leafing thru Penthouse)

The ******* was fitted
With all manner of lights
That couldn’t be missed
No matter what heights

When up on the roof
There arose such a clatter
Ja, kicked open the door
To see what was the matter

So there sat Ja
With his pants pulled down
His *** in a hole
On his forehead, a frown

He leaped up so quickly
Through the doorway to pass
Tripped over his pants
And fell on his ***

Then flat on his back
His bare *** in the snow
He looked up to see
The roof all aglow

Poor Santa had landed                        
On that, small, sloped roof
But there wasn’t enough room
For sleigh, and each tiny hoof

Ja had decorated everything
So the outhouse, shone bright
And Santa mistook it
When he arrived that night

The reindeer slid off
Were hanging by their straps
And Santa had saved them
By grabbing, the roof *****

Poor Rudolph fell the farthest
Boy, was his nose beaming
Just then, losing his grip
Santa started screaming

Fly Dancer, fly *****
Fly Donner, fly Blitzen
Don’t let me fall into
This ****, Ja was fixin

Then just like magic
They started to float
And Santa, raising his fist
Did this warning shout
              
Be very careful old man
I’ll get you some day
Stay alert Christmas Eve
Don’t get in my way

Now, each Christmas Eve
Ja, won’t step foot out that door
Cause he knows Santa is waiting
To even the score
BOEMS BY JA 18

I never know when it will erupt
Something profane
and unshackled
born deep within me

Some say it’s the soul
expressing itself
Defying this flesh and bone
But who am I to impede
It’s dawning

I cannot hold it
down much longer
It will devour me
Bit by bit
I will be consumed
Within its rage

Then I will burn like a witch…

My words caught in my throat
and as they clumsily tumbled from my mouth
They fell heavily on my shoulders
And stung my eyes
As I tried to swallow them
A few hung in the air
While the others fluttered in my stomach
Beating against my ribcage

These words they jumble together,
They stumble wherever.
Tumbling out of my mouth,
Perhaps saying the wrong thing.
Words sting,
They are like knives cutting at your skin.
Words can scar,
Words can burn,
Words can destroy,
Words can ****,
So be careful with your flow of words and where they spill.

These walls can talk
They tell me your'e insecure.
These walls can talk they tell me your'e not sure.
You was abused and misused.
Utterly confused, you refuse to be reused.
Pain afflicted,
Mind conflicted.
My brain was consumed by depression and the pressure of impressions.
You keep all the pain bottled inside, you need to express your expressions.
The lessons we learn are the tests we fail,
I can tell you tired and weak.
If These walls could speak,
They'd tell me all of your secrets and lies.
I can feel your pain kept inside.
Gold lives inside of you.
You was suicidal, your mind was the devil's bridal.
Face down at my feet, but im still undefeated.
I needed my space but somehow you got deleted.
These walls are colored,
But I'm surrounded by white walls that try to keep me closed in.
I talk to God like I was Moses friend.
I feel the walls closing in.
Walls can talk.