Let me bleed through the inks
and papers until my blood
runs out and I am lifeless—
a human with no emotions.

Jakarta, July 18th 2018

I walked through a thousand rooms
searching for you in every open door
but all I could find is empty spaces
and you were never there to begin with.

Semarang, July 24th 2018

Let’s embrace each other
as our bodies met in the air,
fly through the night sky
as the strings drew us closer
and nothing kept us apart

Hold my hand tight and
let me guide you through
the impossible that we’re
trying to break through
and prove the stars that
we’re worth rewriting for

And as we glide back
down, promise me that
you won’t let me go and
we’ll conquer what lies
outside these walls, together

Jakarta, July 11th 2018

The best thing about being intimate with someone else is the fact that you are at the most vulnerable point in your life and you just let someone dive into it without hesitation. As an introvert, I have a lot of boundaries when it comes to interacting with people and as you can see, I only let a few people that are able to push forward into the inner circle of friends. You are the only one who is able to push it even further, creating another circle that is even closer than those I call as best friends.

For me, being vulnerable is expressing the thoughts and feelings that you keep to yourself to someone you trust deeply. I tend to keep things to myself because I am afraid of what people might judge about the way I think or feel. It is actually tiring to hold everything yourself and pretend that you are ‘normal’ to the social norms, but having someone you trust deeply helps you to relax and let loose of yourself without being afraid. You have proven yourself to be that someone.

Jakarta, July 7th 2018

Stepping to the spotlight,
you know that this is
the moment of truth
when all eyes on you
you have to show them
all the hours you’ve been
practicing,
rehearsing,
and perfecting
every inch of the moves

Close your eyes
and breathe in deeply
as the music starts to beat
and the crowd starts to cheer
no more fear,
no more shame,
no more turning back,
and let yourself
express the inner you
right here, on stage

Feel the energy
as you never stop moving
to feed the hungry eyes
this is what makes you
feel crazy,
feel proud,
feel alive,
and let them fuel you
to be the best of you
and conquer your stage

Gather around
and bow down
as the crowd gives
the final cheer,
the standing ovation,
the satisfied looks,
and celebrate
the moment of triumph
after the performance
of once in a lifetime

Jakarta, February 16th 2015
Written on Jakarta, July 17th 2018