I wanted to face a fear.
So I scooted myself closer to the railing of this 420 foot high bridge
& forced myself to look over the edge
Telling myself that this fear was irrational,
But the longer I sat there the more the anticipation grew in my chest, the more I could feel my body betraying my mind, images flashed of me being thrown over the edge by my sadistic thoughts.
Some part of me wanted to free fall into the rushing water & the sharp jagged rocks below
A part of me I don't like to hear
"This is real."
All the years of telling myself I was scared of heights,
When really I am only scared of myself.