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how can one person
made you feel like you own the world
you own the rainbows among every rain,
then will make you feel like there's no penny left in your pocket
and though rainbows exist
they will suddenly remind you that rain will always be there?
to you. I know, and I hope you won't read this. I hate feeling this way, but you made me and that's how ******* important you are to me yet at the end of the day you always make me feel like some option you won't ever choose first.
sometimes one question can save a person
:)
β€œwhat’s the question that would make you tear up immediately once you hear it?”

β€œβ€how are you?””
maybe my way of coping
is also the way that hurts me
by putting meaning into everything
it makes all the memories difficult to forget
like how the most special day for me was when a total lunar eclipse happen, year 2022
hug
hug
i imagined you standing there in front of me
not wasting any second to hug me
you’re out of breath
worriedly running
it’s like you know what i’m thinking on those moments
when i don’t answer your call during those times
you get extremely worried
because you mindlessly know, during those times,
that my mind is in between wars,
it’s in between chaos and sadness,
and my heart is a wreck,
a train full of endless cries,
wherein you know i’ll give up at any second
but you’ve known i’m strong
you’ve known i’ve been through a lot
so you did just that
in my imagination, you were there
not saying anything
not wasting any second
to hug me
i hope you’re okay
in choosing paths,
i only have pain as option
pain of holding on, crying til we ruin ourselves
or
pain of letting go, crying as i live without you

guess i chose the latter
if they ask me what i feel,
i will tell them how you made me feel secure and insecure at the same time
if they ask me what i feel,
i will tell them that you're different from everyone else in this world
if they ask me what i feel,
i will tell them that it was hard, that it was painful
if they ask me what i feel,
i will tell them that i see myself in you in a way nobody can
if they ask me what i feel,
i will tell them that you are me when you fully accept your emotions
if they ask me what i feel,
i will tell them that it's the first time everything made sense
if they ask me what i feel,
i will tell them that no one else is for me, except you

if they ask me what i feel,
i will tell them that i love you,
in a way i never have loved before
diamonds & gasoline
Ever feel like overthinking a lot of things?
Like at the end of the day,
You'll feel like, you're not for each other.
I promise...
I promise not to think about you again
I promise not to remember any good memories
β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €we shared for a moment of time
I promise not to look at our pictures
β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €that reminds me of those times
β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €where we were genuinely laughing
β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €at something so immature
I promise to look for someone
β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €who is far from who you are
I promise
β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €to forget everything
β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €to forget the happiness I've felt
β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €to forget the pain you gave
but I also promise
β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €to not only forget you
β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €but also to thank you
β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €for being one of the promises, I came to love
people come and go, and sometimes you don't expect yourself to love that person who unexpectedly came and suddenly left
Isang tula na para sa'yo.

May isang manunulat na nagsimulang maghanap ng bagong panulat,
Matapos itapon ang mga nakaraang panulat.

Sa kanyang paghahanap, marami ang kanyang nahanap,
Isang panulat na galing sa isang masakit na nakaraan,
Isang panulat na nagbibigay kasiyahan
At isang panulat na delikado gamitin.

Pero sa lahat nang kanyang nahanap,
May isang panulat na nagpapadama ng kakaibang pakiramdam,
Isang pakiramdam na may kakayahang mag-sulat ng kwentong aakma sa isang pahina
Ang pahina kung saan tinutukoy ang estado ng manunulat.

Halos lahat ng panulat na nahanap ng manunulat
Ay ayaw niya itong mawala
Ayaw niya itong pakawalan
Ayaw niya itong ipagbenta sa iba.

Pero itong panulat na kasalukuyan niyang ginagamit sa isang pahina,
Itong panulat na ito ay kakaiba
Dahil sa, handa itong ibigay ng manunulat sa iba
Handa siyang mawala ito,
Hangga't nagagawa nito ang kung anong nararapat.
March 7, 2020.
Stumbled upon something on my notes. Forgot who I wrote this for?
Out of this world I suppose
The thing I wanted
The thing I craved
Is nothing beneath the surface

Should I really be here?
People whispering
People gathering
People hardworking
Just to achieve something they...
Thought they need

Are we really in this world just to play along?
When I was a kid, all I thought was
Everything we step on
The grass, the ground, even the mud outside
Was all part of a big playground
Where we are tested
Looked upon, and judged

Others always ask,
"How can I be truly happy?"
Which is I second the motion
Things, foods, places
People always find the way to achieve that kind of feeling
Even when it takes to let themselves be lost

Can I ask,
How can we truly end this?
All this suffering, sadness, unknowingness
Without getting depressed on how will we do it?

The solution?
Out of this world, I suppose
The baby butterfly,
having its wings broken a million times,
tried to open it again.

"Help me,"
it screamed, no one answered.
"Help me,"
it reached out, no one answered.

A miracle happened,
something deep down on its soul, one answered.

"You have me,"
a voice has spoken.

It's itself.
There are times that we thought we are alone. There are times where hope is gone due to the million problems we are experiencing, that it seems like nothing is being resolved. But, know this, you are still breathing. You are still here, moving forward. You have, you, yourself. Sometimes, these times of being alone is a lesson that's being taught to us. A lesson to rely on yourself more, to be good on yourself more. To be bestfriends with yourself.

Dear you, I know you can do it. I know you can surpass all obstacles, because I know you're strong. Fighting!
She is the most colorful tune
I could ever hear,
"You might be the girl,
the first who made me feel like this."

I'm stuck on ruins
Leaves are falling, they are golden
"What are you doing here?"
"Following-- Loving you."

She smiled,
She knows,
Still playing the notes I wanna hear,
Tip toeing on the piano, it hurts.

Someone told me,
"She's happy at the moment"
"I can see,"
But the waters in front of me screams, rumbling through the forest.

She danced as if she's in a play with the trees
Someone is playing violin on a different direction
Butterflies left me behind, smiling and flying towards the instrument,
Ruins became scarier than usual.

She likes me playing my piano,
Nevertheless,
She loves the one
playing the violin.

She was the most colorful tune
I could ever hear,
"You might be the girl
the first I've ever loved this way."
(c) from a story of a friend and his perspective.
for someone who experienced β€œdeath” of the people i cared for in different ways and perspectives

i’m wondering why i’m not becoming numb
J.
J.
It started, didn't stop, still continuing
Never have thought that you're different.
Why do you need to leave so early?
I hate how you make me feel bad
Seeing you every time, but not seeing you closely,
That pretty back of yours, who could deny that
You're one of them?
I hate you so much. I hate you to the point,
Where the stars hate the sun, though they need it, they want it
I need you? No, I want you but I can't want you.
I can't like you. I can't see you.
I can't look at you the way I want to look at you.
I hate you, and I want to forget you, but ****
Seeing you, is like galaxies beneath my eyes.
You sparkle, you shine,
But, you're millions far.
How can I reach you? If you're not reachable?
To: J
I went out today for a walk.
Dark clouds were looking down on me,
I know rain is coming.
All I could think on that moment was,
β€œI should’ve prepared an umbrella,
I only have my jacket on me.”
Looking at the dark clouds scared me.
It feels like it will devour me alive.
I felt the pour of drizzle on me as I expected the rain to come.
Just then, I noticed the dark clouds moving,
Moving away from where I was.
And on that moment, all I could think was,
β€œI never wear my jacket during walks,
Good thing I brought my jacket.”
As the dark clouds pass me by,
Eighteen thirty on the clock,
Blue sky was seen.
It was only a matter of time before I see the moon.
In life, it’s only a matter of changing perspectives and you’ll see how everything just passes.
you don’t even have to ask
if i can keep you in my heart
you’ll always stay
here, always
why am i hurting myself at this hour
And they said, "You cried last night, screaming his name."
Someone did save me. But at the back of my mind, it's still you.
ldr
ldr
never thought i'll be wishing
to watch you sleep
being just centimeters away from you
rather than through cold screens
you're so good
heavens can't deny
the virtues you bring
gives little bit of sparkle
in our hearts pure black

you look good today
inspired?
will always be here cheering for you
hoping that all stars align
and your wishes come true, for you deserve it

thank you,
for bringing back
the heart that was shattered
for bringing back
the hope I thought won't come back
((to someone who will not have the chance to read this, ever))
We have a life of unlimited repeats and try agains.
Another 10 word. Sending goodluck to all that have exams right now! Fighting!
future is uncertain,
but i'm certain that i'll be facing it with you.
R
are you lost, little dreamer?
have you counted all the sheep
but still,
your mind wanders through
the nothingness?

here's to you, little dreamer
here's to your continuous efforts
trying to build a rainbow
beneath all the storms that come through

here's to the water in your eyes
trying to let loose
every time you hear those three words,
"are you ok?"

here's to the days and nights
troubleshooting yourself,
without any manual
or even instructions

hi there, little dreamer
i am you, too
finish lines aren't always easy to be seen
but someday,
we'll get ours.

i promise.
:)
It is when you are waiting,
When you know what to do when the time that thing comes,
When you are fully aware of that thing you are waiting,

However,

It is also when you do not know what you need to do
...WHILE waiting.
another breakdown session by yours truly
there are just things that are left unsaid,
things that should stay the way they are,
time that was borrowed,
and needed to be turned in again
There are simply just times that you can be temporarily happy with things that are not supposed to be yours β€” a friend, a memory, or a pet (doesn't matter). But before you get too comfortable with it, before you try to keep it as yours, one should really bring them back to a lost and found.

If not, you might lose yourself, you see.
his eyes, so peaceful whenever he looks at me
his eyebrows, so thick
his hair, curly, but in a way that I like to caress it for life
his lips, so perfect for mine
his nose, the cutest I've seen

I want to remember each and every detail of your face,
every quirk that you make when you're either
happy, sad, annoyed, or confused,
I want all of them remembered at the back of my mind

that when someone asks my future,
that would be my explanation.
R
today,
i finally opened the door.
For days, I have been lost. For days, I went through healing, emotions pouring like I was hit by a storm.

And now, I am gradually accepting everything that is happening to me. That everything is happening for a reason, and He has greater plans. I am, also, trying to love myself more. To accept my flaws, and facing other people with who I really am. First step has been made, and I guess gradually, I won't seek validation on other people anymore.
M.
M.
I never thought
That a flash of light can be slower
Than my emotions exploding
Like a supernova in the galaxy.
Someone did hurt me
And why am i not hurting enough?
The grasses spoke like
A human consoling a person
Will you be my grass?
Beneath the flowers that i do not
Own; well why do i even deserve you?
This question isnt that important at all
Do you even know me?
I think not
I think you dont even care
And i dont have any reason to complain
For im just a mere person
Trying to get your attention
But not enough.
To: M
Masama bang hilingin, na sana'y tapusin sakit ng damdaming hindi maibalik

Masama bang hilingin, na sana'y magwakas, isang pangyayaring hindi hiniling

Masama bang hilingin, na sana'y tumigil, isang pakiramdam at lihim na pagtingin
Masama ba?
that's the thing about memories
you cherish them more when it's gone
you feel pain, you feel hurt
you miss them and wanna go back
but then after a while,
you'll realize, years have already passed
:)
they say mermaids aren't real
they say beautiful tails can't be seen
they say long haired perfect girl is impossible

but what if
mermaids were seen in a different perspective
then mermaids are real
mermaids are everywhere
trying to keep up with the world
without knowing how to stand up by themselves

they keep on thinking that
going with the flow of the wave
would bring them peace and joy
but no one warned them that
imitating mermaids wrongly,
can't make you feel alive

are you one of those mermaids?
mermaids that still keep their mouths shut
and just sing all the mourn in their hearts;
mermaids that cannot think straight
and let others decide for themselves

let no one be that mermaid
let us all be the mermaid that is fierce
and can conquer both land or sea
fight enemies even though we're bounded;
restricted by how we're made

let us all be the mermaid
all kids have loved
let us all be the mermaid,
fantasies beautifully explain.
#life #realtalk #mermaids
metaphors have helped poets a lot to explain what they're feeling
either you're a storm
a cloud
a sunshine
a galaxy or
a star
but whatever metaphor you may be
you will still be the greatest treasure
they could ever get
and that's how beautiful metaphors are made.
Her phone still reminds her,
Of the moment she had cried
The number that flashes on screen,
Close to that date...
The day when everything ended.
And I only wish you happiness, until we meet again.
What I like the most about this sentence is that, it could be the most hurtful sentence you could ever give, but it could be the most beautiful sacrifice one can give. You wish someone's happiness and not caring about your own. You want that other person to continue their lives without your presence, and you were left there, waiting for him/her. You expect to meet each other again, and what could be more hurtful than waiting for someone whom you don't even sure if that person is anticipating to see you again?
"Moon,
carrying the weight of the night sky
on its own

If the moon doesn't light the sky
would people bother to look at the
Moon?"

β€” Jeon Jungkook
i hope we're just growing up
not growing apart
by music,
we came to know each other

by music,
we came to hear the words that weren't spoken

by music,
we started to meet just by eyes

by music,
we clapped by the beat

by music,
we partied like there's no tomorrow

by music,
we serenaded without getting to know the tune

by music,
we placed rings on each other's hands

by music,
we slept soundly

by music,
low notes came in sudden with do's and re's

by music,
we're blinded by the upbeat notes

by music,
we didn't know that notes and rests and sharps and flats
can be flipped upside down

by music,
she died.
Magsimula muli, ang sabi nila.
Madaling sabihin, mahirap gawin, ang sabi naman ng isa.
Hindi alam kung ano ba talaga
Nakakapagod, ika nga.

Ginusto ang isang bagay
Bagay na hindi maibigay bigay
Masyadong malaki, masyadong mabigat,
Isang bagay na matagal nang hinangad.

Hanggang kailan ba malulungkot?
Hanggang kailan matatakot?
Pupwede bang ihinto ang oras?
Masundan lang ang pusong sinisigaw ang tamang landas.

Matagal nang hinangad,
Matagal nang pinangarap,
Minsan mapapatanong na lang,
Hindi ba ang isang tulad ko, ay karapat-dapat?

Isang linggo na ang nakalipas,
Isang linggo na ang nakaraan,
Bakit presko pa din ang sakit?
Sa isang pangarap na hindi nakamit.

Hanggang dito na lang,
Tulang sumisigaw ng tulong, tulong.
Masyado pang mahapdi, mga sakit na tumindi
Ngunit ang puso'y magpapatuloy, hindi susuko sa agos na dadaloy.
there are no words to explain
the pain that i am feeling
but i don't mind experiencing this pain
to the healing that's coming
thank you, and for the last time, I love you.
hindi naman talaga ako marunong magsulat
pero nang dahil sa'yo
nasimulan ko

hindi ko din alam kung paano ito tatapusin
pero nang dahil sa'yo
nagawa ko

paano nga ba magsulat?
unang letra, pangalawa, pangatlo
hindi ko namalayan na sa unang pagtingin ko
sa unang paglapat ko ng papel sa lamesa
sa unang paggalaw ng panulat ko

...dumaloy na ang mga salitang
hindi ko akalaing manggagaling
sa mismong mga kamay ko

"isang araw..."
diyan din naman tayo nagsimula
diyan tayo unang nagkita, nagkausap at nagkatinginan
lahat naman nagsisimula sa isang araw hindi ba?

at magtatapos din sa "wakas"
ang wakas kung saan magiging masaya na ang lahat
ang wakas na hindi na pwedeng madugtungan pa
ng kahit anong problemang magbibigay kalungkutan

pero bakit?

kahit alam kong wakas na
kahit alam kong tapos na, tigil na, hinto na
bakit hindi ko pa din mapigilan
ang paggalaw ng kamay ko sa itaas ng papel?
ang pagagos ng mga letra sa utak ko
na para bang ako'y lalamunin na?

"nasasaktan ka na"
bulong ng utak ko sa puso ko
"kaya ko pa"
sagot naman ng puso ko pabalik
"di ka pa ba pagod?"

mga huling salita na nagsasabi sa'king tumigil na
mga salitang matagal ko ng hinihintay
mga salitang dapat matagal ko nang napagtanto
at hudyat na dapat itigil ko na

akala ko ba, nang dahil sa'yo, magiging madali na lang?
akala ko ba, nang dahil sa'yo, mahihinto ko agad?
bakit parang bumaliktad?
bakit parang, nang dahil sa'yo mas humirap

nang dahil sa'yo
humirap magsimulang muli
humirap maghanap ng panibagong papel
na pagsusulatan ko ng bagong kabanata
humirap ihinto ang mga pangungusap
na aking nasusulat nang ako'y nagsimula

kailan ba 'ko hihinto?
pati ba naman itong tula ay hindi ko matapos
dahil hanggang dito, ikaw pa din ang dahilan
ikaw ang dahilan kung bakit ko ito sinimulan sinulat, dinama, pinagisipan

alam ko...

alam ko darating ang araw na mararating ko din ang wakas
ang wakas kung saan wala ng "dahil sa'yo"
ang dulo kung saan mahihinto ko na ang pagsusulat ng kabanatang ito
ang kabanatang nagbigay sa akin ng ligaya, ngunit masakit na karanasan
ang kabanatang hanggang nakaraan na lang

at pag dumating ang araw na iyon
muli ko nang mararamdaman ang saya sa pagkuha ng bagong papel
ang saya sa paglinis ng aking panulat
at…
ang saya kung saan mababanggit ko na ang katagang, "sawakas"

masasabi ko na din ang pasasalamat ko sa iyo,
na nagbigay sa akin ng papel at
matitingnan ko na din ng maayos
ang panulat na ikaw mismo ang nagbigay.
Walong letrang nagsisimula
Sa isang pahina ng libro
Kung saan lahat ng nagawa ay nakasulat

Walong letrang sumisimbolo
Sa masasakit at masasayang alaalang
Iyong ibinigay,
Binitawan na parang isang kinusot na papel
Sa malawak na dagat na itim

Pilit na sumusuko
Pilit na umiiwas
Ngunit wala nang nagawa
Kundi hayaan na lang

Pasensya?
Pang-ilang beses na bang nabanggit
Pang-ilang beses na bang sinambit
Katagang ayaw marinig
Ng dalawang pandinig,
Na pilit inaalala, ang mga katagang
Nalalayo sa salitang pasensya

Hindi ka ba nagsasawa?
Ilang beses na bang kailangang marinig
Pasensyang hindi totoo
Pasensyang hindi galing sa puso
Pasensyang pinilit lang

Pwede bang ako naman?
Pwede bang ako naman ang hindi makinig?
Pwede bang ako naman ang humingi ng pasensya
At hingiin na sana'y tapusin na
i now know how to dance with chaos
doves will fly again
they will freely go through the wind again
and until then,
let's do our best not to be hunted
pen
pen
thing is,
most of us here

write,
not to impress
but to express

that's why i love it here.
life is a funny little thing
you meet a person,
who you think would be a perfect fit to be your person
yet they're not your person
and you're just happy that whoever is that person's person
is so lucky to have them as their person
we'll be each other's second most important person in our lives
i feel invisible, everyday.
i feel detached to everyone.
people see me, but they don’t see me as to how i see myself.
i don’t have a person right now.
maybe soon, i’ll meet someone.
maybe soon, i’ll meet my person.

a person who can see me, who can hear me, and who can truly value me as to how i see, hear, and value myself.
being appreciated is a privilege nowadays,
in a fast-paced world,
where everyone has high expectations
one mistake can invalidate all the right
thankful for the people who appreciates,
in a world full of expectations.
nowadays, i feel so overwhelmed, like everyday. it's hard to see the good in a day. i'm even scared to sleep because i know that when i sleep, it's going to be the next day where i need to go do the responsibilities needed for the day.

hoping that the time comes where uncomfort and fear will be my bestfriend. :)
before, i don't have people to hold on to whenever i struggle with something
now, i have them
and i won't trade them for the world
i love you, you five
it was the very definition of "peaceful"
everything was in place
time, weather, us, music
clock ticks as if it's in tune with the moment

it was lunch time, eleven shown in the clock
your stories, funny and calm as i listen
your laugh, it's healing to me
your voice, i couldn't quite get enough of
your attention, made the time perfect as it passed by
well, "perfect" could be the other word to define it
and "thank you" would be the perfect response i could offer

but right now, all i could say is that
this moment, for sure,
the universe won't let me forget it.
S
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