Is it love or is it lies?
Perhaps both, or neither,
Inflamed by need,
Quenched by self,
Swollen with desire.
Imagination fans the fire
Until the floorboards creak outside my door
- Then I brink for her no more.

I am a independent dreamer
I wonder where life will bring us  
I hear the sounds only within us    
  I see the day go by like a puzzle
I want go back to the old game  
I am a independent dreamer
I pretend to be strong
I feel lost in wonderland
I touch the walls from the inside
I worry for what’s to come
I cry about the present
I am a independent dreamer
I understand now is not forever
I say it will be all ok
I dream for the later
I try to live happily
I hope for the solution
I am a independent dreamer

Write.
Write everyday. Just 200, 3000, 5.5 million words a day. Just write.
Write something. A love story. A horror piece. Elicit moans and groans.
For goodness sakes, JUST WRITE!
Hurry.
Your ink is drying up.
Dry.
Why won’t you write?!
Unstuck the words from your fingers. Fling them on a page.
They are DRYING! These words only have once to get out.
GET THEM OUT.
Sinking, withdrawing, they shrink in fear.
The voices in your head, louder now, shouting. Shouting with a plead…WRITE!
Like a dictator commanding its people, your head commands you to write.
NOW!

But don’t write.
Don’t write now! You’re not ready.
NOT READY!
Your words are too precious, you can’t share them.
They are heavy in your hands, their weight a familiar feel.
Keep them to yourself. Soak up their beauty. Don’t share your words.  
Like a monk in a monastery, your heart commands you to keep these words to yourself.
Sacred.

So don’t write.
Don’t write cause you’re not ready,
Your heart and head are at odds
I command you not to do anything
And you’ll listen,
With a fervor,
You’ll obey
And
You
Won’t
Write
A
Single.
*******.
Word.

Blood in my eyes,
Slack in my faith,
Baby, I know it,
Your love is a wraith.

Blood in my eyes,
Slack in my faith,
Baby, You know it,
I commemorate
All who follow
The dream evermore.
Live the dream.
That's what it's for.

Blood in my eyes,
Slack in my faith.
You say it, then you don't,
But, you want me to stay.
You're not the dream
That I've wished for,
I'm going to chase my dream
To the farthest shore.
Then I'm going
To board a vessel,
Without a shred
Of guilt to wrestle.

Blood in my eyes,
Slack in my faith,
Like a bullet on fire,
I break from your gate.
I'll be on distant lands.
You will wonder
Why you have no man.

Blood in my eyes,
Slack in my faith.
Baby, I know it.
Your love is a wraith.
Blood in my eyes,
Stars on my vest,
I linger on
No past regret.

Blood in my eyes,
Slack in my faith,
Baby, I know it,
Your love is a wraith.
This is a mantra,
I often say,
When I think
Of that sweet day
When I'll finally find
The courage to leave you~

Long hikes and motorbikes,
Cabins, starlight, kids and tykes,
Parents, and mommies soon to be,
Gather at the greenest tree.
Spirits in ******* are unbound,
Where the silence  drowns the sound;
The victories that love has won.
We are never far when we are one.

Refuge

***** soaked mattress holes in the door
This drunken behavior I can't take much more
My children are at risk in his drunken state
My son packs my bags he is only eight
Under police escort we are taken away
The children are stressed they don't want to play
What keeps you going when life falls apart
Encourages you to take each day as it comes
No one to love you've broken your heart
The strength of your love for a daughter and son
Living within the four walls of your home
Anxious depressed and frightened for them
Downhearted despairing facing life on your own
There's no silver lining not even a hem
I hope when they're older they're old enough to see
The reasons behind why I did what I did
Nothing was for gain nothing was for me
I did what I did for the love of my kids

Stop making me fall for you
Please don't, unless you're willing to catch me
Stop making me smile every time I talk to you
I look like a weird creep laughing to myself
Stop making me feel butterflies in my stomach
It feels ticklish but empty, knowing you don't feel the same way
Stop taking me to all these beautiful places I've never been
I don't want to start thinking that maybe I'm special
Stop making me wonder how it feels like being warmly wrapped around your arms
I'm fine without it and I would like to believe that "...the cold never bothered me anyway"
Stop making me sound so poetic
It's frustrating how all my poems end up being about you
Stop making me think that you might like me
I don't want to start hoping that it's true
Stop appearing in my dreams every night
I don't like waking up wishing I would just stay asleep
Stop making me like you more and more everyday
I will find it hard to let go even if you weren't even mine in the first place
Most of all, stop making me fall for you
I can't afford having my heart even more broken than it already is
And you're responsible for it but I still foolishly fall hard for you anyway