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apathy  May 2013
unaccepted
apathy May 2013
all i ever feel is unaccepted
it really *****
i always wonder, when will people accept me
when will that happen?
a week
a month
a year
never,
then when?

i sit in the corner because i have no other choice
no one accepts me
they never have, never will
and yet i still try, why?

i don't have many friends,
my old ones all left me behind
don't be the one,
to push me aside

don't be that kind of person
at first,
i thought you would stay with me forever
that never happened

you were the only person that accepted me
now your not my friend anymore
everyone else doesn't accept me
why don't you be like them too?

never live a life like mine
to hide behind a wall of insecurity
its never fun
and then to have people be so mean
so unaccepting,
it makes me want to die
pretty pretty please, just accept me
don't be them
just accept me for who i am
Ashton  Sep 2016
Unaccepted
Ashton Sep 2016
You just want to be accepted
For who you really are
But everyone around you
Makes you feel as if
Who you really are
Isn't okay
Or is weird
And just unacceptable
So you have to goo through life
Feeling
Unaccepted
My family
My life
...
Michael Chandler Aug 2013
How many times will I say, write, or perform a mistake?
Everlong it seems, because no matter how far I travel
someone's there telling me I'm wrong or that I'm just not ready.
I thought it would die like a flower buried in snow

What the hell was I thinking? What the hell was I reading?
Believing family could act accordingly when they saw a new lion
,but like they said I will always be a cub. There is no other place for me.
To explore! To leave the nest even if the farthest I go is to the nearest branch

And to be look upon as a bird with just a few miles in his wings
To explore! to indulge with peers, to embrace society, and to be mistreated.
Oh! what a treat it is to be mistreated, to feel alive and unaccepted in the same breath
If only I could get past the unaccepted part maybe it be easier to love myself.

To love another, but first I must love thy self. To love one self and to take reminders
of my flaws and look upon them as compliments. To humble my strengths and listen
clearly to my loud mistakes. In the end of this poem I decided to be than not to be. And to live rather than to sleep.Oh Hamlet how could you ever be so indecisive, now you will forever be remembered as just a prince.
Roni Shelley Apr 2013
The thing is everyone has faults
I have faults
That's why it stings whenever I say sorry
Because I know it was both my fault
Jellyfish Jan 2015
Will you lock me outside,
forcing me to look in?
I'm so afraid of being unaccepted.

Why must you stare at me?
Do you think I'm unaware..

I wish you'd stop talking,
Your voice makes me feel impared.

Why are they ignoring me,
Do I need to speak louder?

Everytime I try,
I just become flustered.

Maybe it's just better this way.
NitaAnn Apr 2014
It is mine and mine alone...to fight…talk…cry…scream…hate…hold...and hopefully someday face and accept. How could I have possibly believed that someone else could understand...

I feel like I am so many different people disconnected from each other wrapped tightly inside this lost little body with no escape.

                                              I am a mother
                                              I am a wife
                                              I am a friend
                                              I am a professional
                                              I am so much more…
I am an ****** survivor…she is the part that is wholly separate from the rest of ‘Nita’.

I have never faced her, accepted her or anything that happened to her, she was not me…now she has grown into this big all-consuming monster growing inside of me. And the bigger she gets, the louder she is, the faster I have tried to bury her and push her away. But she is now way too big and I am way too old to bury her anymore. And I have to figure out a way to be okay with her being a part of me.

Why do I continue to run and fight who I used to be and who I am? Why am I so scared and so ashamed? Why do I continue to live in doubt and hopelessness? Why can’t I trust anyone? Why can I not understand and accept her? If this is what I so desperately wish for, what I have worked so hard for the past 5 years, why can I not just DO it? Why? Why can’t I be okay with ALL of me?

I am rambling tonight because I do not feel well and I am afraid to keep all of this inside of my head for fear that tonight could end with the unaccepted being punished. And there is no ‘support system’ in place right now to help me with that. There is just ‘me’, logical adult Nita, trying desperately to remain in charge. I catch myself not breathing, and it feels like I have to talk myself through a few breaths before it becomes subconscious again. And yet even when I concentrate on my breathing, I cannot breathe deeply, I cannot let all the air out of my lungs. Why? Is that because I am afraid and untrusting that air will fill my lungs in the next breath? Not only can I not trust another human being, I cannot trust my own body to breathe?  

I am not crazy. I am not weak. I am alive and I am lucky. I am alive…so now what? Is this where I say, “Yes, I am an ****** survivor~ time to move on.” And then I walk away? I keep trying that. I am an ****** survivor. I am an ****** survivor. (I suppose that is a step forward, I still can’t say the words out loud, but I can write them now.)


               I SURVIVED THE ABUSE ~ IT IS TIME TO MOVE ON…

But I need help with the second part. I mean, I have moved on, I am an adult, I am not helpless. I can function in society, and the majority of the people in my life probably think I am a product of a normal childhood. But it has affected so many parts of me, parts of me I am possibly not even aware of yet. That is the only way to explain the nightmares and the triggers and the strange reactions to what most people consider normal situations. I try to keep track of these moments, events, feelings, and I think I am doing better, right now…and yet I also feel like I am waiting for fate to stomp on me and squash me like an ant.  

I wish I could talk to people in my real life and trust that they won’t look at me in shame, embarrassment, or worse, pity…but I cannot. Nope – my past is mine…and I am left here alone now – to fight with it, talk to it, hate it, deal with it, cry with it – and maybe someday accept it.

And I will do it alone because it is my past…no one else’s.
How I could I have possibly thought that someone else could understand.
Isabel  Jan 2013
unhappy
Isabel Jan 2013
there are a lot of words that begin with un
and
most of them ****

unlucky unloved uninvited unaccepted unachieved unacknowledged uncomfortable  unadmired unheard

but there is one word that starts with those two letters
that can make things all better

understood
Nat Lipstadt Sep 2013
December 25 - 28, 2010


Stuck in Miami, Florida, because of bad weather in NYC.
Composed after reading the poetry of Campbell McGrath, who lives in Miami.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
­
electric pinpricks of
unfamiliar red and green lights,
bedroom traffic guidance
courtesy of a stranger's
tv and cable box,
an emblematic totem tonight,
of my physical dislocation,
reminders that I'm enslaved
by weather machinations.

I lay, resting uneasy,
in a strange bed,
one night too many,
snow storming in my head
snow storming up north aplenty,
a blizzard of ruminations are
my white coverlet,
while stuck in Miami.

faraway drifts have
force fed and freed
an imprisoned restlessness,
a multipurposed, slashing.

Miami midnight incision has
let out the bad humors,
let in an unfamiliar odor -
lechón asado,
which texts my Pharisee nostrils
in Cubano,
words muy ironico,
a single waking thought,
"who ya kidding?"

Everglades rain
imported from California,
recycles on rooftops,
thrumming a heart beating,
syncopated, watery refrain,
a regifted heavenly present.

the sound waves mark
as a barely undulating wave,
inside this super soaked brain,
that transforms wine into water
and scan lines into these letters,
"who ya kidding?"

all this exponential signage
of this NYC boy grousing, are his
defrocked muses annoying,
with a serenading blizzard
of one trick pony repetitions,
coronets trumpet his unmasking,
this essay, a revelation,
a product of their
harmonious discordancy.

a single note crowns his head
as he weeps whole food
organic, non-recyclable tears,
products of his new inquistional,
a self-inflicted interogatorial,
"who ya kidding?"

compiler of an
occasional talented catch phrase,
strung'em together like
cheap pearls,
pretensions of literary acumen
once populated his Id,
articles of spilled word *****,
but Florida rain has cleansed
his Northern haughty pretensions,
with an injection of truth serum,
a pharmaceutical wonder of
a local poison labeled,
"who ya kidding?"

A day laborer, nothing more,
rise up at five, brown bagged,
a client of Mammon's *****,
soul sagged, life hagged,
a sum of cultural cliches,
a cell phoned baby boomer,
a would be millennial,
constructed of paper mache,
who on occasion,
has been known to say,
"Let's play poetry today."

the poseur chokes
on this new poison,
delivered by unhappy stance
by the arrows of his
current misfortune
for he now suffers from
the deadly disease of
"compare and contrast."

a slim book of poems
of Campbell McGrath's
(his phraseology,
a veritable theology)
shoos the blues traveler,
over to a funhouse
where an honest magic mirror
cuts him down to size.

his poetic aspirations,
a residue of self-infatuation,
are summarily dismissed by
the truly gritty, quick justice
of a master poet's
"who ya kidding?"

so watch how a would-be
poet disappears,
in a barrage of bullets marked,
nevermore,
his dignity, more than hobbled,
his cheek, gone, gobbled,
his juice, a currency unaccepted,
his holiday present,
a ceasefire of conjugation,
a cornucopia of declinations

dare I ever write again?
who indeed, am I kidding,
other than myself?

I am an addict, not a poet.
A  Aug 2010
Impermanence
A Aug 2010
I must recognize impermanence.
The curtain falls,
Good-byes are said.

I sit here in the darkness, waiting.
The end will come,
Unaccepted.

This odd, close-knit family will be gone.
Yet it does stay,
Just in memory.

This wish is all that remains after.
Never forget
What we have done.
The magic made,
The illusion, the theatre.
Written 8-1-2010
I want to go far away from here
I'm sick of being in this place
I'm sick of feeling sick all of the time
I'm sick of seeing her face
I'm tired of being an outcast
I'm tried of being a joke
I'm tired of being questioned
I'm tired of wanting to choke
I'm fed up with being unaccepted
I'm fed up with how I look
I'm fed up with my emotions
and my dignity that they took
I'm sick of feeling out of control
I'm sick of being sad
I'm sick of feeling out of my skin
and always being mad
I'm sick of being a loser
I'm sick of being lame
I'm sick of being misunderstood
I hate feeling ******* insane.
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: Started May. 12, 2010 Ednesday, Finished May. 13, 2010 Thursday 9:02 A.M.
Trey Evans Nov 2014
Lord,
I know I’m nowhere near your model image
For what a good human is
I come here with nowhere left to turn
Exiled from my home
Ridiculed for trying to change
My devilish looks turning strangers away
My reforming person unaccepted by family

Tonight I weep
For what I was born into
And not being able to change
Into something you see fit
My tears,
Burning the very ground I walk on
Hoping for redemption
Praying for forgiveness

I’ve never asked for anything
But now?
I need answers
Answers to questions I’ve never been able to solve
Am I destined to be a demon?
Or can these horns form a halo?
5/16/13

— The End —