i lost all respect for Me.
Forget I told you to drown out the sounds of sarcasm when you left me a note on my doorstep and the navy blue hoodie sitting upon my kitchen counter.
Maybe someday I'll remember that feeling of guilt
When I wasn't good enough to keep you waiting.
Dear 13 year old me,
You are no longer sitting in your bathroom imagining your life as an 18 year old.
Instead, you are 18 sitting in your dorm room.
Did you imagine it like this?
This is a reminder that in 5 years you dyed your hair 5 different colors,
lost friends you thought would be with you always,
and started University 8 hours from your hometown.
Within those short 5 years you managed to hurt your family repeatedly,
and then attempt to fix what you'd broken.
you discovered your passions, learned a few things about love, and
often times forgot to speak your mind.
When you read this next you may be 20, or 31.
You will think differently at that time, God I hope you do.
Widen your horizons, your perspective.
Please travel, and love even if you don't know how;
imagine things again. Don't be scared but take precautions.
Try and love your family. Please try,
Dye your hair, pierce things without letting your mom see.
And just please, please try to be happy.
I stayed behind to pick up the pieces
Right before I left for you to tell the tale.
Clandestine words and actions that triggered
What could have showed
To be a past nearly forgotten
Or wanted to...
This embodiment is gradually deteriorating
They know, they can see right through you.
Is this an excuse? Or is this a fault.
For my inconsistencies
For my opinions
For being naïve or knowing too much of nothing
For questioning the teachings of great thinkers, great writers, poets, inventors of all time
I’m sure that they’re sorry too
Sorry that not everything is done to a certain someone
Or doesn’t pertain to those who toss it aside
Sorry that we all live in our own separate and made up worlds
Feeding off of old traditions
Enhancing them to make our own “new” ones
But then define plagiarism? If it’s such a huge issue
Then why do we do it?
So I am sorry.
Sorry for copying you, him, her, them
Sorry for stealing what was never there
Another old poem.
Dear something to remember
Dear nothing that I knew
Was it clearly a reason to give me a clue
I’ve reworked the works of past lives
Calculated numbers to exist with mine
To reminisce on such a sweet accomplishment
Known as greed to another man’s treasure
Where thoughts could not coexist
But exist if not measured
Where jubilance is false and apt to do
Walls concaved with no place to move
Well if it’s so weird to think regardless of nothing
Then shall I cope with what’s to come?
Or have walls never been where they are or were
To a place that was never done
Just an old poem...