sometimes i wish we could all realize how **** insignificant we are.
we have ancient star-matter in our bones, our veins, but
you will never be your zodiac, ruling the sky— cancer, pisces –
i'll never be antares, or even the very sun we revolve around
but still, aren't we marvelous;
with our star-bones, and their burning marrow cores,
with these nebula-veins, spanning the space of
the universe of our bodies.
aren't we marvelous, with our eyes full of galaxies
that nasa would **** to see through their telescopes.


do me a favour, you starchild,
leave a supernova of a legacy
that will burn bright for all to see
for eons to come.

i crave the universe; it's expanses, outer reaches.
i want to drink from the big dipper, have my fill,
be merry.
escape with me, from the wicked pull of gravity,
leave this *****, scarred earth.
i want to inhale these scattered constellations;
exhale galaxies, nebulas.
i want to leave these silly material things behind,
we can leave ourselves in this beautifully infinite silence,
let the stars tell the stories of the great orion and cassiopeia.

leave your own footprints on the moon, on mars,
wherever you wish, starchild,
there's too much to see when you live in an
u n f a t h o m a b l e    e x p a n s e
staring into stardust,
staring into the roots of you,
of your creation,
of your nebula-blood.
your star-bones.

The Starchild

She was sat on the lawn.
The inner city park an oasis
from the August heat steaming
from the searing concrete buildings
of the old city.

I opened my brown bag.
And ate my sandwich watching her.
From the surrounding woodlands
the wild animals
had congregated
at her feet.

Almost like a class
of kindergarten children.
She was talking softly to them.
From the distance I could see
they held no fear of her.
And soon neither did I.
how could I?

Curious I sat down on the grass
in my business suit.
With the rabbits and squirrels.
She said to them the sky
was the roof of our world
as we know it.
But also the floor of eternity.
That she was a starchild from out there.
And her spirit plays in the sunlight.
Far above
in the land of starchildren.

She said at night she watched
them play through her open window
far into the starlight above.
Where the light was pure and timeless.

The sunlight caught her hair like a halo
For a moment I thought she was an angel.
She said she will return there one day.
And her being would drift
from star to star
exploring everything.
Seeing wonders that did not exist here.
She would visit
every single one.
Since she would have
an eternity to do it.

She does not come
to the park since
the fall arrived.
and the golden leaves
blew into the cool winds.
the park now seems
an empty sad place.
And in my heart
I miss her.

Child smiling so softly
Sky brimming so brightly
Gazing forever upward
Running forever forward
Feel the wind blow
As hope begins to grow
Never show fear
Shout out with cheer
As the world smiled
They have finally found a Starchild.

I do not feel myself today
Stolen stunned sparkle sunned
Crystallizing adrenaline ***** hypertension maniac
Overwhelming in here. Crowded.
Always willing to be the first to jump
Potent love affairs with rushing wind and endless heights
Break apart.
Come undone.
Let go.
More surreal than tangible
Fading softly into the mist of kilauea
Great fire mother blessing me with the burning
Ablaze, a Phoenix from the flames, rising into the night
Bursting all over the constellations, adhering to the cosmos
Third eye open
Awed.
Amazed.

Cosmos in her eyes
Solar systems speckled across her skin
Teeth of shining suns
Scars of waning moons rail thin
Hair woven with nebluas
Skin made of stardust
Dark matter etched under her fingernails
Solar wind flowing through her lungs
Interstellar dust collects in her veins
Her heart a comet in the sky
Her smile as dwarf star
And a soul made of twisting and swirling colors burning hotter than the day
Stitched together in cloth of flesh
Hidden deep inside broken clay and yet
Despite the black hole clawing at her mind
This starchild won’t leave
I am made of galaxies

You cannot **** me

You’re the meteor shower I stay awake all night for.

In the dark you tried to find me
My heart strung out upon the floor
Don’t help me
I have to do this on my own
My heart shattered and alone
Blasted out by your sunlight
But you see nothing but me on the floor
Not noticing the shards by your feet
Stars you saw once you see no more
And if anything
That makes me shatter deeper
Your lost sight a knife to the core
But even knowing our days of joy are over
That you lost your vision of care-
I fight
To save the galaxies exploded across the tile
My soul in little specks of starlight on the cold stone
I will save what’s left of me
For me and me alone
I am infinity broken
And infinitely broken
But I’ll fight to put this starchild back together
Just like the old days
When things were better

I would rather be hysterical than vulnerable
to what most people call love.  
I would rather couple with strange women
on an Amsterdam getaway
than let one more man
try to own me.

I prefer to ignore my own psychodynamics
in favor of endless talking cure analysis
and occasional astrology cult ******
that promise to speed my eventual evolution
from wounded *** object to invulnverable starchild.

I don’t need a Beverly Hills shrink
to tell me my narcissism and depression and squeaky voice
are symbolic of never having the power
to set a boundary between me and my father
who doted over my puberty
with slobbering praise and veiled lust.

Everyone who knows me for more than a week
sees my father throwing me financial bones
instead of apologizing for what he did
and the more I take his money
the freer I feel
distanced by automobiles with dark-tinted windows,
a house with a skull and crossbones doormat,
a silver .45 under my pillow
and not one single ex-boyfriend
about whom I will ever say a kind word.

I have created emotional and psychological invulnerability;
all men are now my father
and all men pay the price
of never being loved by me
and I pay the price of never being able to let them love me.

Now I just play with partners
and when they inevitably start to use the “L” word
I start to run inside
and I bounce off the walls and mirrors
of my own emptiness
and I go on a photo safari to Africa
where I pretend to understand the meaning of life
and I put out restraining orders
against the men who insist that I explain
and I have come to rely on legal and monetary fences
to protect me from
the truth about my deep loneliness.

I’ve never had an ******
never said I love you twice to the same person
and I think
as long as the money’s there
I won’t have to.

i've always known
i am not from this earth
a small starseed reincarnate
embodying my sparkling ancestors
made of stardust
glitter pours out of me when i speak
the milky way lays itself out in front me
like a red carpet
begging me to cross it
it's quite lonely here
inside this human body
why doesn't anybody here
love like they did
in the stars?

You have
pieces of star-matter
in you.
That fact alone
makes you
relevant.

I come from another planet
One that's placed so far away
You can't see it with the highest powered telescopes or anything like that

Well, I'm not from there, myself
But when I was just a seed, I was
I was planted here

Like a flower or a tree
I grew up here like you
But my origin is nothing you can imagine

You can't tell the difference, though
See, I've assimilated seemlessly
And no one knows

But this is my confession
I'm not from this place
And no one will ever believe me

as the moon blocks out the sun
all is dark,
all is silent; the air, still.
it feels like the end, but the day
is dark only for a brief moment;
the death of light and sound,
seems un-ending but
is gone as quickly as it came