I am the body
I am the mind
this is youth's discovery
an ego identification:
I am unique and separate
expressed with enthusiasm..
For most this seems
as a lifetime identity..
But for some
and potentially for all
a shock of falseness
breaks into youth's dream:
I am not the body
not the mind
I am transparent
as Awareness..
This is new birth
waking to reality
as it is here and now
and always has been..
Now as Awareness
I pervade all
I am..is All...

I always wish we met before your first love
so that I'd have been your deepest incision and your easiest decision
and often hope you learn to love me as much as you loved him
which is half as much as I love you, for I love you to Venus and back...
My affection for you is cosmic, I've seen the universe because I've seen you
you're something of a galactic existence, an extraterrestrial
in a terrestrial world of mice and men, why's and when, nows and then
I'd tripped into the past and you've walked me back to the future...
I'd failed to learn what love really meant, I've finally met my teacher
It's my prayer you be on the final page of my lifestory,
on mother Earth you would be a once upon a time of a happy ending
and even if they say happy endings are stories that aren't finished yet
I think they're a point the twist is beyond the understanding
of the mind behind the canvas and the quill,
beyond the reach of the perilous vivisection of the pen,
am going to love you until that unfathomable point, until half past forever
a quarter a mile beyond eternity, just ahead of happily ever after.
you're the ultimate treasure, this' the hunt that counts, am never saying never...
You're my motivation, you understand what I feel, and that's something
yet it all starts from something and builds to a tale to remember
it all starts from a January and before you know it it's December
it all starts from a spark and makes Ash of what was once an enormous ember...
you're a war I'd fight the universe to win,
a journey of a million miles and ain't about to surrender...
My only regret is I didn't know you when you were younger
so that I would have Loved you longer
in this lifetime, and this bond we share could be stronger...
and my biggest worry's the rest of my life might not be enough
for me to love you in the million ways I believe I can...
My deepest pain is even these words don't really say what I feel...
they're merely a construct my hopeless mind could make
of the turmoil in my heart and soul, for what I feel is more than what my mind can take

Buried alive
In the projects
Called life..
My only ally is time
trust no one
because every one
consists of lies

it's all dark
All is black
death aims at me
Point blank
Ignorence is bliss
wishing I didn't know any of this
But I can feel it's presence
constantly... a desire.. a curiosity.

waiting for the occasional spark
maybe it's Death, taking a life
like a devouring shark..
naked in my grave
with only a scarred
leather book
and a quill with enough ink
to write a lifestory

So i'm writing my pages
my story that I want to tell
but with every spark of light
I can't telll.. these words
and sentences.. are strange to me..
I didn't write this..

Did somebody stole it?
Living the story I want to tell?
A story about a nice life
with good people
And a world that isn't Hell?

Hate surges up within me..
I quit writing, not a letter written
quill  smashed into the ground
another innocent victim..

My eyes open
conscience shattered
mind of a hunter
stalking it's prey
I'm going to steal a book
and give him my empty one..
A thief.

This life
is
like
a drama scene,
scene
by
scene.
Different plays
and
characters
in the scene.
Some enjoying,
some striving,
some suffering.
Everyone has a role to play in this dramatic world.
For there is no escape route for the babies for they have to take part
in the scene.
Everyone has
his/her lifestory with
a
begining
and
an end.
No one is saved from
the scene,
except
he be dead.

i saw myself for the first time
in the past
between cold coffee and flowerbeds of
selfishness
my life is a sailboat, burn marks
on the wood
grease lights and deer skulls as reminders
an everlasting soliloquy
of the waves speaking truth
shorelines and arrowheads from
lost tribes
i remember the mosquito bites
on your legs
orange peels in your backseat
where my heart used to be
turn up the radio baby, cause i
just can't hear the silence between us
anymore, anymore
than i could take your eyes
hiding from mine
anymore hate i've caused you?
pull it back up
if it's healing
i'll take it all to see you
with a dry face
your smile is relief like
knees off rice, feet off coal
my name without the man
i've been trying to find a staircase
with each step towards your parents
"nice to meet you"

How do I cope?
Do I steal Frozen Hope?..
Do I attempt to stop time?..
Do I find a remote an rewind?..

Or

Do I Time Travel?
Do I jump through a portal?..
Do I Just Become Immortal?..
Do I rewrite my lifestory over?..

didn't think I was so angry
didn't know I could feel hate

but now I Rage Against the Machine
destiny or fate?

I often don't understand
the workings of my mind

emotions overcome me
I seek, but do I find?

beauty brings me hope
ugliness despair

kindness and connection
against isolation everywhere

ambiguity
deep within myself

my demons and my angels
the lifestory on my shelf

I cannot overcome
the ignorance and strife

the endless agony
of my relationship with my wife

reduced again to silence
often I just endure

searching for gratitude
unknown, quite sad, impure