my favourite song is sail to the moon live by radiohead and when he replied that it was his as well I was overwhelmed
we layed together and let the haunting phonics echo through your room

uninterrupted

I pressed my head to your chest and let your heart beat sync with the sound

two days later you told me you loved me and I was astounded when I heard the same words fall from my lips

I fell asleep listening to radiohead my head on the pillow and my heart in your hands

everyone warns you about heartbreak
They say that young love never lasts
and while they may be right I ask
Myself why I was never warned of the danger of a different kind of fracture

You broke my taste in music you ****

Teenage relationships don't generally end in divorces but the forces were at play and it ended anyway

Nobody worries about who walks away with the songs you've loved since childhood

Like Bono was my dude but you loved Beautiful Day so now we're not on good terms

Like Real People Do was the jam but you ruined it man

Why did I have to talk to you about music,
Janis Joplin, was poppin and Bob Dylan was killin but I told you all about it and now I'm not about it

the opening bars of sail to the moon rip me in open

and while we didnt have children I'm the short amount of time that we were living
In each other's embrace

music was our offspring and someone should have warned me about this thing where you aren't supposed to overshare
and though I have many questions about why it ended, why it's still going on, the biggest are why I told you my favourite song
and after the pseudo divorce

Who the hell gets custody of radiohead??

i fear i am too much for you.

too many feelings,
both good and bad.

too many opinions,
too much anxiety,
too much noise.

i'm afraid you don't want me anymore,
now that you've gotten to know me.

now that you've realized how clingy i am,
how i thrive off of attention,
how much trauma i've been through and how badly it has affected me.
now that you know how honest i am,
how much i overshare with some people,
and never share with others.
now that you are aware how the smallest thing can put me in the worst mood,
how i need constant validation or i shut down.

i am so ******* terrified,
that i've scared you away.

just by showing you who i am

I just realized that peter pan is actually an angel
And neverland is heaven
Those kids didn’t age because they were dead
I wish I didn’t age

I try to put my mental health before education
But then it affects my education which effects  
My mental health which effects my
Educ- you get it

Do you realize we are the kids our parents
Warned us about

I am an overly emotional
Clingy
Distant private person
Who has the tendency to overshare at any moment
And I don’t know what the **** that means
But I'm going with it

This poem doesn’t really have a meaning
But I think that might be the meaning

I'm sorry I run from problems
I'm sorry I tried to solve yours
I'm sorry I overshare
I’m sorry I make you bored
I'm sorry I stare
I'm sorry I look away
Im sorry im so hypocritical
And don't listen when you're political
I’m sorry each day turns me more cynical

I'm sorry for the things i've said
I'm sorry if I leave you on read
I'm sorry I didn't keep the teabag in long enough
I'm sorry I interrupt
Im sorry my confidence was eaten by the wind
And drowned by clowns who exposed my sins
I'm sorry I retreat within
Im sorry I cant f☆king sing
I'm sorry you excite me but despite this
I'm sorry for this constant apology

Im sorry im not polite enough
Not tight enough
I’m sorry my tastes aren’t soft to touch
I’m sorry im not bright enough
And my focus fades at your clutch
Im sorry im too open, too rough, too loud
And then too shy in certain crowds

I’m sorry that i’ve put on weight
I’m sorry I’m always late
I’m sorry I just love to procrastinate
I'm sorry I want to make plans
And i'm sorry I flake
I'm sorry you swallow my screams when I shake
I'm sorry I crawl to you like your warmth is my glue when I break

I'm sorry I collect pointless things
And give them half meaning
I'm sorry I give into temptation
In every situation
Im sorry I’m so contradictory
I'm sorry I interrupt
Or just don't listen enough
Huh, i'm sorry I repeat myself
I'm sorry if I don’t help
I'm sorry I forget to say goodbye
I'm sorry I don't confide
I'm sorry I'm always tired!
I’m sorry, I tried

I'm sorry I ego feast, and dwell on the deceased
I'm sorry I hate the beach
I'm sorry I need noise to sleep
I’m sorry im sweaty and need space to dance
I'm sorry you never got a second chance
I'm sorry I over stress
When i over over cook scrambled eggs
I'm sorry I don't shave my pu
☆ssy or legs

I'm sorry I can't articulate
And there for fail to conversate
I’m sorry i’m so needy
I’m sorry i’m so skint
I’m sorry if i'm not in the mood
Im sorry I can be so crude
Im sorry im so greedy
And sometimes so rude
Im sorry i’m just sick of take away food
Im sorry i’m erratic
And i’m sorry I cant f☆king hack it
I’m sorry some days I love you and others I don't
I'm sorry if i've made you lose hope
I'm sorry we disagree
I'm sorry I need more than you to feel safe
And less of you to feel free

Now take a step back and repeat this please;
I'll no longer be sorry for being me

Soft, easy to walk on
Pleasant, comfortable
Familial, forgettable
That's carpet.

Hateful, vengeful
Frustrated, ill-intentioned
Always mentioned, enfuriating
That's toxic.

Please love me.
Will you listen to me?
How are you doing?
That's carpet.

Please love me.
I'm empty.
I need you.
That's toxic.

I love you,
I'll do anything for you!
Please command me.
That's carpet.

I deal with your idiocies
I deal with your standards
I conform to fit inside your image.
That's toxic.

Can you hug me in front of
All of these people?
So that they know I'm worth something?
That's carpet.

After you listen to me,
I'll say I'm useless.
I'll say it's not your fault.
That's toxic.

I don't want to ***,
I don't want to talk,
I want you to trust me and tell me everything.
That's carpet.

All I want is ***,
All I need is some warm body.
Give me the fuel I've run out of.
That's toxic.

I'll give you everything
And do whatever you want
For whatever feigned love you can muster.
That's carpet.

I'm ready to conform.
Give me drugs and let me tighten up
While you let loose and accidentally love me.
That's toxic.

I'll text you back immediately.
And patiently await your response.
Rejoice in this moment you did for me.
That's carpet.

Give me advice.
So I can shoot you down.
So I can let you down.
So I can let you drown.
In my toxic civil war
Where I knew no solution would come
From my internal struggle.
But you took a side
And felt the wrath of one of my forces.
I can't help you.
Leave me alone.
That's toxic.

I walk around
By myself late at night.
I text you and say I need you.
Don't worry about where I am.
I needed to be alone,
But now I don't.
I just escaped misery and wanted to
Find you.
Find me,
Or I'll run away.
Block me,
So I can fester.
That's carpet.

Let me give you a million compliments.
Easily.
While you find one for me
And slip a shark a steak
Even though he'll always be hungry.
Sharks barely ever **** humans,
But they're so scary.
It's the hunger, it's the image.
It's not the behavior.
It's not.
The image is hunger.
Always give me more.
That's toxic.

I serve.
I help.
I pleasure, assist, provide
I care, then I care more.
Then I go home and rub off
The disappointment and fear of alone.
Then I care more.
And I wait for the love I give
To come to me.
And I think it will.
That's carpet.

Leave me alone.
Be honest.
That's what I need.
Let your honesty drown you
Because I'm honest too.
And I'll open up the floodgates,
Without remorse.
Sorry if you drown.
I overthink, bottle up, and overshare.
That's toxic.

Please love me.
Please act with me,
Act out the fantasies I have planned.
And re-enact the ones I did.
I'm toxic.
I'm carpet.
That's me.

When I get close to people,
I tend to overshare.
especially when I spot a shared interest.

You’re into cheesy memes?
I’ll flood your inbox with my favorites
You like scary things?
Even if I’m not always into them
I’ll find the ones I do like
thinking you’ll appreciate them too

But lately,
I’ve started to think...
maybe people don’t like this.
Because over time
they start to drift away.

It stings to be labeled a copycat
When all I've ever wanted is friendship
People close to me that I can be open with.

Maybe I'm meant to float alone
Like a golden jelly,
I should make my own pattern.

I wish I was silent.
Your words wouldn't be so violent
I'll stop seeing red, but a pastel violet
I just wish that I was quiet

I wish I wasn't so loud.
Maybe then you'd be proud
My words wouldn't draw a crowd
If I wished I didn't speak out loud

I wish I didn't always overshare
Spilling embarrassing secrets just so you'd care
So maybe one day I'll finally be aware
And I wish I didn't have to feel this despair

I just wish I wasn't ignored
But I didn't want myself to just be stored
And so that's when I poured and poured
I just wish I could get my reward.

I wish my mouth was sewn shut.
I could walk normally, instead of strut
Thanks for all your punches in the gut
I just wish I stopped talking, and so what?

you’re here so i’ll ramble on to you

repeat the words again with someone new

share and overshare

your life and it’s a record

cause you’re like a record

and i love my records

but i’m getting sick of me

lately, can’t do what i want

but what is it that i want?

Being human is a tricky thing,
I cannot blame that I am such a ****** one on the mere fact that it is my first.

There are plenty of things I've done for the first time and not **** at.
But being fair and morally correctly was never on that list.

I can list what I **** at though.

Being too much or not enough of myself,
The endless judgment that comes with being, as if I am not doing it as a lived experience.

I cannot stomach the thought of anyone ever truly seeing me despite how much I overshare.
Regardless of how many times you tell me you care, almost no one cares enough.

I like how acceptable it is
To overshare when you're drunk.

I like how acceptable anything is.
And how easy it is for people to forget.

Pretend you didn't say that one thing.
And I'll pretend I didnt hear you.

Step one
Make a friend
Get over your irrational fear
Of all other humans

Step two
Overshare
Tell them your life story
On the second day
Hope that they won't leave you

Step three
Worry
Every time you aren't there
You're probably being replaced
Your friend seems to like you
But everyone does at first

Step four
Beat yourself up
If you've been replaced
Then good for them
You were never good enough anyways
They have every right
To leave you behind

Step five
Push away
They don't need you
So they probably don't want you
They're only still here
Because they pity you
Or they don't know how to dump you
Do it for them

Step six
Wallow
You don't have anyone anymore
And you never will
Because you are never enough
For anyone
You did a good thing by leaving them
No one wanted you there
In the first place

Step seven
Placate
You lost your friends
But that's okay
You don't need friends anyways
And they certainly
Don't need you
You're just fine all by yourself
You're happier being alone
Right?

Step eight
Make a friend
Ger over your irrational fear
Of all other humans