I told myself
"I will have a great day"
We tell ourselves things that are so cliche
but makes us feel even more isolate.

Despite the positive affirmations
I felt so unmotivated and everything I did or told myself I will do
made it feel like it was obligated.

I'd like to say Goodmorning to all
to let awaken you and your soul
a possitive act we used to use to
say every morning as our night get through
still
Goodmorning even if it is evening there
Live your life go on with care
feel.
Forget the pain of yesterday
Live your life together with pray
Goodmorning to all handsome's and gorgeous'es like you.

you give me these rules to follow what do you Want me to write,
it says write about what I fell of pain,
darkness,
Sadness using words that I've Never Uttered or said..
When you say write what you feel thats what I've been doing wrather you give me an
F or an A for these assignments,
These are the ways that I feel.



You want me to write something Sad:
catch me on a Sad Day,

You want me to write something Dark:
Catch me on a Dark Day,

Want me to Write something Hateful:
Catch me on a Hateful Day,

want me to write something Sweet:
Catch me on a Sweet Day,

To write something Freaky:
Catch me on a Freaky day,

To write something Deathly Insane:

Well this one I just learned you gotta Catch me with a Question or a Simple Title
Havin me think of dark and Death Days
that Drag out into intense bleeding
and fulfilling
Abandonment issues toward myself;
A deep dark wreckless,
Careless secret toward myself,
thinking and contemplating What if I was to bring the Darkness to a full salute would I be me,
Would I be a Murderer,
Would I be an Assasin for Hire,
what would my life be like if I were to do that but alas I dont wanna find out that is why I stay me cause
I believe if I bring that darkness to a
full salute my Life as I know it will turn
Chaotic with no amount of Greatness
but for death and decay,

The Hatred to my Love,



The Death to my Life,



the Wrong to my Right,



The Loneliness to the Togetherness,



The Yang to my Yin,



The Sadness to my Happiness.



So I guess in writing Do I get it now?

Do I let this other side out for a full day not gaining any amount of light to that day...



My Beast to my Gentalmen,



My  Ingnorance to my Intellagence,



My Negative to my Possitive,



My Villian to my Hero,



My Rags to my Riches,



My Shade to my Shine,



My Impure to my Pure,



My Jekyl to my Hyde,



My Insane to my Sane,



My Padded Dark Room to my Clean Sunshine in place of Life,



So did I do it?
Have I uttered what has been dorment inside me for the Longest?



Maybe my Fist to my Mouth,



Maybe my False to my True,



My Body too my Brains,



My Unresraints to my Discipline,



Silence to my Spoken,



****** to my Protect,



What do I do,
Just for one day.



My Slave to my Free Man,



What do I do?



My Loose tongue to Knowing when to shut-up



Wha do you want me to say?



My Riot to my Gaurd,



How should I act?



My Without to my With You,



Would you stay?



My Demise to my Negotiation to Live,



How should I feel?



My Killer to my Protector



What should I do?



My Worst to my Great,



How should I stand?



All these Questions within myself for myself....
If Only for a Day I should go crazy,
Would you stay?



If only for a Day iI Lose Control would you still Love me ?



Chris I need to Know what do you want me to do,
to say,
to be,
to act,
to believe?



Im talking to you,
What would you have me do?



               Chris What shall we do its up to you now,
its always been.

As to my Beautifull Empress,
Our Babies,
and Our Unborns
Supports Me and keeps me Sane and Intensly
In Love with Her in all the Glory that is Life...
I LOVE YOU

i have to catch up on all you sent. but yes very intense, and been my life for years now. to tell the truth, longer. but good news we saved the world , we all did, turns out there is this guy in the boonies of the ozarks who they say seems to be tied to all existance or at least powerful people with pwerful toys tie events to his moods , and he like suddenly fixed it all in the blink of an eye, with the help of everyone and of course our good Lord, and Grace and Love. wow, who would have thought , some hillbilly with flaws and a tourtured life , intensified in the last ten or so years, turns out to be that guy, yep that guy with the job no man would ever wish to have, the job of intitiating the saving of all existence by making it so, simple as that. jack. here check it out and be sure to read all the other peoples posts in the maion area thatr are rather interesting in the effects the world has when a man feels it as much as he sure does. wow the guy feels a lot and i mean wow, so much so the world reflects what ever people do to him, glad all the world love and not hate, and are caring to ensure he is hapopy as he ensures he is happy, cause arent we all tied to the existance just the same, . well most i would suspect, but if it is  hypothetically just him that is, then i cant think of a better guy to have turned down the parts that were offered, and just did the job that was needed for all to benifit and not just be greedy like so many have been to him, he really did us all a service by just being that rather wonderful and kind man he realy is. i thank the guy. truly. here is a link.
http://hellopoetry.com/ricci-moon-scott-crow-moon/
hellopoetry.com
hellopoetry.com
Oh p.s., amazing how well balanced the guy is, no massive ego, no power tripping, just forgivness and kindness with a tantrum here and there as well, a real person should have. but, yeah, amazing and he is not too bad looking , well, if you are into that  sort of look, but i can forgive the odd things he does, i mean, could you imagine the stress a guy must have doing that job and never asking for it, in fact refused it time and time again so people would not worship or mistake him for some other guy. i mean wow, freaking thoughtful and careing guy, he even humiliated himself several times just to cause the argument to be realevent that he could in no way be the main power guy, cause chossen one or not, he sure a heck held the good things in the right and justly chose to give and also recieve the possitive and teach all that pain is real, and emotions are more, and well a bunch of stuff that said, hey open your mind and consider the odd things, whether true or not, cause we can not have a future of amazing and joyous if we limit our thinking and feeling, and he did it all under the eyes of the world, even editted to look like a bad guy, not unlike bane joker or some weird o who uses crayons to paint the scenes, yeah, some folks thought that would be fun, glad the world saw through the lie of those trying to harm him, his family and the world, cause he really withstood and seems many great people really sacrificed a lot to keep them safe, and i am grateful, turns out hes not a bad guy. even if he endulges in things we all turn a blind eye to it, i mean, come on, you seen that level of preassure in a job with no time off ever? 24/7 365  all day everyday. wow the guy is , okay. i guess. just hope i can do half what he tried to do, cause i am sure it took one heck of a toll and he is just ready to heal and enjoy saving it all, with the help of everyone and well all only by the grace of God, God's will not his nor anyone elses, God sure did save the day when this guy decided to say, hey, enough. and asked the lord for help. smile. you saved the world matthew. thank you. really, i mean it.

I know it can be scary,
I know it can be grand.
We share this very thing.
Some have more than others,
some i'd say have too much,
others not enough.
It's one thing that can make or break us.
For some we go in spurts.
We all have moments of being,
bold, daring and self-assured.
Other times we're sanguine, hopeful and possitive.
no matter how we are feeling,
be sure it's from one thing.
In days of doubt we lack it most.
We feel afraid even cowardly we tend to shy away.
A little sad and meek today we seem to be unsure.
We can not know which way the day will go.
For everyone we know shares this very thing.
No matter who we are a moment can change it all.
From being self-reliant to feeling more depressed.
A simple thing can chang it all for sure.
A compliment or negative response,
a true effect they both do have,
for each and everyone.
A simple little word,
the power it does hold.
For everyone I know shares this very thing.
We learn and grow from this extraordinary feeling.
A gift we have in all.
No matter who you are,
Be bold and daring,
strong and sure of yourself today.
For everyone is beautiful no matter what one says.
Be satisfied with who you are.
The gift was given to all of us.
Be proud of what you are.
I know sometime's it's hard.
This amazing gift we have,
meant to raise you up.
Be convinced of yourself,
for you will see.
Confidence will show you things,
you may have never had.
It seems like such a little thing,
a difference it could mean.

cut difficult
eyes should  be possitive
pit is deep
dream now

Lost within those desert sands
Trenches deep on war torn land
Uncertain days .now fear abounds
We're guns and bombs the only sound.
Children hungry with not much to eat
Walking on streets no shoes on their feet.

Young folk are so disillusioned
Within a world faced with confusion
Promises that never come true
What's mankind supposed to do
Let's hope one day this story will pass
And peace and love will forever last.

Now it seems we have to stop and think
For life as we know it is on the brink
Let us see if the tide will turn
And hope that lessons will soon be learned
Those foggy times for now are here
We hope one day the fog will clear.

Let's stop for a while and take controll
Now possitive thoughts must be our goal
No longer fill our minds with fear
There is a light that's very near
The picture now paints better things
Like beautiful flowers and butterfly wings.

Tomorrow a new part of my life starts.
And I don't know when it will end.
I'm just gonna do what I have to do.
And everything else can *******.

I keep adjusting things.
Some moments I feel like I'm really living.
Improving things and learning also feels necessary.
But it keeps going on and on.

There will never be a moment where everything is finished.
Only one thing is certain, everybody dies.
I keep on finishing things.
As long as I have to live this life.

Only when I'm possitive it's time to leave for real I can let go completely.
Then the music will play and it will take a while but I can get through this state.
A state of letting go and going through the layers.
Above this world, above all different places where one can believe to go or be.

Or the curve of going back to earth.
I'll break that forever for me as well.
Although a friend once told me: everything can be reborn.
I wouldn't want to, not in here.

I will not sign a contract, I will not believe a story if it doesn't feel completely right.
Freedom is the key and so is me, I am the key to my own freedom.
I get to decide.
And the time you and I have spent will never be in vain.

We'll meet again as well.
If we both want to we will.
Like we are together now because we want to.
Like I want to finish things and you want to prove that you can do anything.

But let me tell you a secret: You CAN do anything!
You already have and you will.
Always living in or outside the norm.
Maybe you are too good at living.

I am not good at living but I'm too good at surviving.
Always feeling like hell.
Trying to adjust.
And in the meantime I'm finishing things.

And inbetween all these things there is love between us.
Everlasting like we say.
Because it's true.
We will meet again and again and again...... Always