it doesn't hurt to be in love with you anymore; i am merely numb
i've hidden fragments of you in separate stores in my mind
and they jump out like grasshoppers
sometimes one at a time
sometimes all at once
and i receive this unbearable desire to smoke the traces of you into every other ***** so they can experience what it's like to constantly want to jump out of my skin to get rid of you

don't feel sorry for me.
I am a competent,
satisfied human being.

be sorry for the others
who
fidget
complain

who
constantly
rearrange their
lives
like
furniture.

juggling mates
and
attitudes

their
confusion is
constant

and it will
touch
whoever they
deal with.

beware of them:
one of their
key words is
"love."

and beware those who
only take
instructions from their
God

for they have
failed completely to live their own
lives.

don't feel sorry for me
because I am alone

for even
at the most terrible
moments
humor
is my
companion.

I am a dog walking
backwards

I am a broken
banjo

I am a telephone wire
strung up in
Toledo, Ohio

I am a man
eating a meal
this night
in the month of
September.

put your sympathy
aside.
they say
water held up
Christ:
to come
through
you better be
nearly as
lucky.

I really do judge
what I write as I write it.
Childish, boastful, self-
absorbed, morbid, pathetic,
simple-minded. You
know, the works. We all have to
be critical in
life or nothing is sacred.
N o t h i n g
m a t t e r s .
Everything will exist and
it won't mean a ****
thing.

One’s-Self I sing, a simple separate person,
Yet utter the word Democratic, the word En-Masse.
Of physiology from top to toe I sing,
Not physiognomy alone nor brain alone is worthy for the Muse,
        I say the Form complete is worthier far,
The Female equally with the Male I sing.
Of Life immense in passion, pulse, and power,
Cheerful, for freest action form’d under the laws divine,
The Modern Man I sing.

Time does not exist
Or so I am told
An artificial instrument
created by man
As it turns
the Earth shrugs it's shoulders
She doesn't know what to think either

Time is not linear
That is what I hear
Everything has already happened
and is happening at the same time

So...wait.

I imagine it like one gigantic explosion
Our lives play out
Everything happens separately and at once
My ten year old self and my eighty year old self are one in the same
I have heard that

There are some people I wish I could talk to again
The ten year old smiles and continues the conversation
I sit here and think that if everything has happened and is happening all at the same time

Then

I am still having those conversations
with Living Ghosts

Get up from the dust
get out of your grave
rise up high you have a mission to attain
your not over yet
you still have the time
You may be down
but you didn't loose the fight
Raise your head up
that you can reach the sky
you feel all is gone
but you have alot to prove
dont sit there and wine
dont be weak and accept your fait
be a worioer be a hero
cause thats what you are
and thats what you can become

"I panted and clutched at my tangled up head
Which was deeply etched with a leak
And was Spilling out my dismantled thoughts"

Onto the the grass  

They twisted and wriggled upon the shining blades trying to bite or injure their slimy dark brothers

Like long legged sharp toothed worms that would make one sick to the stomach  

"And when they had gone
all of a sudden I was treated with a damp numb buzzing all over"

And I could not see

"Right then
they could have replaced me with another"
If they had wanted
If they were willing

No one would notice

Out my window
the same world
different day, day after day

I want to grab my bolt bag
tie a red bandana
around my sweet mutt's neck
hop a train, act sane
for a change

Georgia's down the tracks a spell
and Birmingham's half-way to hell
New Orleans in September
sounds pretty good

Woof and me
living free
no cares to carry on our backs
singing clickety-clack, clickety-clack.

r ~ 8/13/14