the Courage of the sun
reflected on her face;
a reflection never as bright
but not dull.
Shining?

but without Courage she
is blind, or she hides.
I walk in darkness.
I miss her
Still.

she returns, not of her own
Will or Strength,
another cycle passed.
rising from the dead to
Beauty

return to retreat overhead
with Strength, Courage, Pain
another cycle. Past.
between glistening Glory and
Oblivion.

The hazel centers draw me in
and the comfort of the pools of green
and blue keep me in, so soft and peaceful
wishing to be seen.

So I cannot deny it,
can not deny your eyes
their need to be seen
by mine.

Eyes closed, yes eyes
and what is wrong
there is always something
something is always wrong.

The center of your eyes draw me in
and the serene pools hold me close
but I pull back and push away because
no matter how you love, he still loves the most.

The feeling in my chest pumps
My words mean nothing
My thoughts in words are not the meaning
The words have no meaning
They are mere words
It is work to describe what has meaning but it is not these words
Not words
Feelings
Pictures
Images
Pain
Pain of all kinds
Fuzzy images and memories and experiences
Stop
It hurts
My chest
The tears
The chest pain that chokes me
The tears that invisibly lurk behind my eyeballs
They sting just a little
They make me want to hide
Hide and cry
Lay alone
Why do I lay alone
Why
I’m hurting so much
Stop
Stop.
Why do I hurt?
I hurt for no reason more often than not.
No reason
That’s what depression does
There is no reason
There is no cause
Therefore I don’t understand
I’m hurting
I don’t know why
There is no wrong

can stand alone

Simple flex of a muscle
Lift up
Relax
One rep at a time
Getting stronger.

Now part the lips
just a little
Pinch the corners of your eyes
the tiniest bit
to convince them it's real.
Convince them it's real.

All you have to do
Is convince them it's real.

Three hours later
you're sitting downstairs
I wasn't home
I wasn't there

Three hours later
We walk to my door
I walk inside
and stare at the floor

Three hours later
I pace back and forth
you watch and I wonder
if you care anymore

Three hours later
I turn out the light
You don't want to leave
I don't put up a fight

Three hours later
you pull me back in
I need to get up
but the light is too dim

Three hours later
I know there's no use
I don't care enough
and I have no excuse

Three hours later
Three hours without you
And yet I don't mind
but I know that you do.