I wrote many poems in my life
about boys, about life
The poems about you are the worst
they're the ones nobody likes
I can't get my feelings out when I write about you
I can't tell if it's because I don't have them or because they're too strong
and I'm trying to figure it out and see if what we have is wrong
should the worst poems be about the best person? Or should my worst poems be about the worst moments with the worst person for me
I don't know I wish you would just tell me

"follow your gut"

easy for you to declare

my mind says "no" my friends say "leave"

my guts says "GO"

so I do just that

           what is right

both I feel are right

both I feel are wrong

that's a hand full

maybe I'll just

stand still

can I buy a ticket

to your mind

I would spend all I had just to see

everything you wish to achieve & all you desire to be

or would you give a ticket free

cause they say the best things in life are free

would it be a roller coaster

or would it be

an air plane ride gliding through the ideas in your mind

or is there no admission at all

no way to see what you are

because it's blocked with fear and the past

darling it may be the hardest part but

if you give me vip

fast lane

first class

i promise i'll love every second

and every part of the ride


If your minds an airplane could I also ask a favor

I would like a one way ticket

cause once i'm there and i know every part of it i still won't want to go back

i'll be waiting, my flight could be delayed due to something in the the heart of the plane

my roller coaster could be stuck on something

but i'll be patient

because i know
it will be the thrill of the night
or the thrill of my life

I wish I knew those who cared enough
to read my thoughts

I wish I knew the ones who loved my thoughts & think it could challenge the most beautiful things

I wish when I cross people's minds they think of character, and intelligence

to be called smart, creative, or beautifully minded is my ultimate goal

that's all care for
that's all I dream for
in hopes for it to come

maybe I missed the way words rolled off your tongue or the way your words made me rethink how to breathe

maybe I miss your smile and how parallel your top and bottom teeth are

maybe I miss the way we could talk about meaningless things yet it meant everything to me

maybe I miss the good things like the wink you gave me when I gave you my brightest smile (which was only there because I saw you)

maybe it's the bad things about you like the way you made me feel at midnight, I couldn't fall asleep

maybe it's just the magic of night that made me feel this way

maybe it isn't. now as I think it wasn't just night it was 24/7

maybe it's the way you could say my name. like bliss, it made me like my name. you made me feel insane

maybe it's the bad things like the way I made you feel at midnight you couldn't hardly fall asleep

or maybe it's the bad
or maybe it's just the good
but it's probably
most likely
it is
I'm most sure is
both the two

why did I miss the

wetter pillow nights

unanswered texts from days gone by

trying not to correct you with all my might

cause you were always "right"

not being able to eat when you said "you're beautiful"

&starting; to agree with everything the way you see it to be

but that wasn't me

no way it couldve been me

How could I miss that?

later coming across knowledge of being number two.

Losing interest in missing it now

cause I don't miss you, please don't even glimpse a thought in your rightful mind that I do

Why am I mad?
Who am I mad at?
I could blame a thousand faces.
I could say a thousand words.
Nothing would change the way I feel.
Nobody could steal my thoughts inside.
Please just leave me all alone.
I want to choose by the way I feel.
I want to be happy.
Something inside won't let me pick.
Maybe it's the world around me that kicks me around.
The world tells me "Pick him! You'd be the cutest thing I've ever seen"
Deep inside I know that's true, but why would that matter when it's how we would feel that would mean something.
I don't feel right.
That's how it would feel.
so maybe I'm mad cause I chose the choice that I knew just wasn't right.
I left the one who made it right.
He made me smile in the dark, dark night.
What is left to do you see?
Will it still be you and me?
Or will I choose to follow my conscience.
I finally figured out why.
Why I sit here so shy.
I'm not mad.
I'm not sad, indeed.
Neither one I so sourly plead.
I'm afraid.
and that's why I can't be happy.
I fear, fear.
That's what's wrong!
My past choices could let me go on.
forget the past and let me be.
I'll make a decision by dawn, maybe.