None amongst us can perfection claim;
All different yet...... flawed all the same.

I am only here sometimes
When I have to be

When I can't fake it anymore
Is when I go to sleep

I wrote you a letter,
because in words
I can say it better.
I wish I could better articulate this feeling
in speech, instead of just thinking
so I wrote you a letter
alas now,
I'm feeling much better.

seven years ago I used to write everyday 
because if I didn’t write,

I was a day closer to cutting the chord,

snapping the pen,

holding my breath until I couldn’t anymore,

but now I write at 3 am, most nights,

when the hum of the ceiling fan keeps me awake

and my mind slowly runs back and forth like a constantly ticking time clock that never run out of batteries

but now I don’t write with substance 

I write in circles 

and none of it makes any sense,

nor has relevance,

I blame you, for taking my soul with you,

when you gave up on yourself 

and I still believed in you

I blamed myself for awhile,
it wasn't me,
it was you.

I needed you

Fire burning, logs marching
A path daunting, ranting taunts
Chanting seamed Arabic hymns
Chargrilled silky toned offerings
The exquisite yurt tent warm
Enclosed in ethnic kaleidoscope
Bedouin tribal pneuma radiates
Tensed and cordially punted
Feral wild ones sociably awake
Reticent,drained in frail noises
Fainting in lapses, trailed to fail
Tidal noises permeates above all
Waved and enveloped in beats
A drummed goblet, strummed oud
Announcement of the lived life force
The tidal rhythmic music timed
All clapping and mesmerised
Drawn in dangerous curves
A continuum of introversion sorted
The ever censored extroversion summed