When you want to be something, be it.
Don't complain about not being it.
That is all I will say on that subject.

"I don't know. I could be anyone with the flick of a switch,"
I replied.

I thought by loving him,

I was loving him;

when in reality,

by loving me,

I am loving him.

The thing I've learned about demons inside
that you can't seem to ward off,

is that you shouldn't waste any more time
trying to fight them
or banish them.

They are quite stubborn and ruthless.
Instead, you should be aware that they exist,
and learn to accept them as a part of you.

Give them a small corner in your mind to live in,
know where they sit, but ignore them.
Let them sit alone in their dark room.

Eventually, they go pretty silent out of bordem.
Other times, they break through...
& when they start to come out, just yell:

"Go back to your room!"

This usually works for me. :)
Other times, I just exercise or write.


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DISCLAIMER: this does not mean ignore all your negative thoughts and bottle them up. Self-growth is one of the most powerful and enjoyable things in life; it's also very stressful. But sometimes there are things about ourselves we just have to accept. I have to accept that I have an addictive personality and that I sometimes make too many assumptions with my wild imagination. Whenever I get the urge to overuse, I say no, or I go hoop. Whenever I create scenarios in my head, I say nope, it's not true until I see it.

She couldn't decide who she wanted to be,
so she was everyone.

She couldn't decide what she wanted to do,
so she did everything.

This
was better than being no one;

This
was better than doing nothing,

as many are, and many do...

She
was not them.

She
was different.

We're not supposed to be the same.
We're supposed to be the world.

I tried to get all my love from one person.
I tried to make him give me everything.
I wanted something that didn't exist.
A clone of me: to go where I go,
And do what I do, and agree with what I say.
That doesn't exist.
I wanted him to be my answer to eveything.
No, it couldn't be.
I realized this was foolish.
One person can't do that.
There's a reason there is so many of us:
To play different parts.
Not be the same.
So I realized, I had to get certain things from others
And not him
And this was not a betrayal
Or a battle
This was letting go of what wasn't real.
What isn't real.
Finding others to love me the way he can't,
Just as he finds others to love him
The way I cant.
I am not invincible or all-knowing,
Though I like to think I'm close.
This lesson is just one more reason
To call me little
Oh how much more is hiding in the slits of my brain
I'd love to see, though it's painful
Knowing the truth
Knowing things you thought you loved
Don't even exist
The things you wanted
That you'll never have
But in hopes of gaining something in return I guess
Maybe not as full or tasteful
But it's something
And it's healthy, because it is a balance
So you learn to live with it
And let go
And enjoy the freedom of it
Because you were trapped before
And confused, certainly
Not anymore
You know the right from the wrong
And it's only a matter of execution at this point
A great start
A great beginning
Hello love
Hello world