The game of Life acts as a diary;
a replica of our Momentous actions in part
With my mental issues, trust issues, and tramas
I started 20 spaces behind the start

Generations below me pass me by rapidly
conquring the board without a care
I crawl one space forward completely winded
the game of Life isn't fair

I must keep my eyes, my head, and my hopes down
For if I squint to see the end on the horizon
It's not only far away
but potentially just an illusion

Moments come and moments pass
Everything acting in a fluid motion
Swirling and foggy
Nothing is clear
The world, my mind, my body

What's real and what's fake
Fake news and fake currency
How can I escape
The world, my mind, my body

Bursting but trapped by the last thread
A cloud of illusion leaks in
I breathe it out, I breathe it in
Somebody please come save me
From...
The world, my mind, my body

I wish you would die
And I wish someone would end you
Nothing but a demon,
a thief, a rotten root
Your lies stab at my aged wound
You're petty
And *******

Just shut the hell up already
Before I shut you up myself
You destroyed my life
And still await consequence

I hold myself back every day, don't you see?
So see it as a blessing
And don't you dare test me
From now and for forever
Tiptoe the streets

Fear my flame
Don't laugh like this is a game
My soul is empty, hungry
And I'll haunt you until you drip with insanity
You deserve nothing
No remorse
Just a curse

Clearly you have to be put in your place
A slap across your face
We're both on thin ice
So feed my healing
Because if I ever quit
we both might end up bleeding

And as my life falls into a million pieces
All that remains is my entity
Which continues to be ****** into
The void that is your heart

All physicality long ago dissipated
My flowing spirit takes the easiest path
The travel endless and rocky
Nothing you say is comforting

As there's nothing left for light to be shined upon
I become darkness itself
Alone I wonder
Never to be held
Never to be brightened

Maybe I care too much
or maybe it's the lack of medication
But my mind is overflowing
with constant consternation

When you disappear on me
it's like my heart has gone rogue;
A vast cavern left inside my chest
no tears left to disembogue

But my feelings are very present
A tangled mess of fear and panic
as well as a deep love and longing
everything so fresh and very organic

That's what we have
and that's what we are

unknown
afraid
and passionate
All very chaotic

But one hundred percent real

Where did you go my love?
Please don't keep me waiting long...