Growing wilder now
Flowers give red shoots in spring
The year starts again

I try to explore
The ice plains and green buds of
The Tomorrow land

Jumping from tall peaks
The flint of life is sharper
Than any flower

I sit myself down
And breathe the pollen deeply
Summer comes and goes

unsolicited, unwelcome, and unexpected,
the universe gave me a
crash course
in the fact that:
this life is fragile, wafer thin -
and we are but dust sailing aimlessly in the wind.
it planted a quivering seed in my bones,
and instantly grew
a sinking feeling in my marrow
that i've been sleeping through my best days,
giving them carelessly away
to hesitation
to hate
to fear,
so i've resolved,
to be HERE
now -
to leap across the abyss
while i can,
to dance and sing and stretch out my hands, screaming:
"THIS IS IT BABY!!
THERE'S NOTHING TO WAIT AROUND FOR!"
and if i land flat on my face,
then i'll embrace the rough ground
taste the sweet dirt,
knowing you're slowly transforming into earth,
and one day
i will too.
children will frolic upon our decomposed noses,
and pick wild roses from our brains,
they'll smell of
moon laughter and
etherial refrains.
freed of our temporary cage,
our spirits will expand infinitely,
exist as sky
as rain
as majestic oak tree.

discover frozen effigies of foreign gods
in a town without whispers
we'll find a maze
of EXIT signs
get lost
searching
for escape
until the inevitable
heat death of the status quo

we'll waltz
deadlocked,
mercurial eyes
in the glittering sea
of black hole leftovers
the spacious sound,
the silence stretching
.
.
.
you'll drop a bottle
and time will slow

in that moment of collapse
I'll fanatically search
for all the shards,
as they turn red
in my petrified grip
and try to piece together
this unsolvable puzzle

on our cheeks,
the irritating scratch
of a bitter wind

if i could count the number of times
i've prayed to forget,
or wished to deflect
my feelings
when your rejection
stings me,
it would outnumber the stars in the sky.
but if i loved less,
chiseled out and repressed
my indulgent heart,
would i remain this person?
could i give myself away
just to be certain,
that the sharpness of dodged glances
would no longer lead to submersion
into a sea of glass shards,
ripping and tearing
blood thickening
into rocky scars,
barricading my laughter
burying my spirit in the rafters
to be stolen by scavengers -
you *******.
train my body to love you,
only to rip the bone from sinew
and regurgitate the overused pieces
spitting
them
as feces -
i am a junkyard.
mark my soul as marred,
guarded by ghoulish goblins who
gamble keys to sacred chambers,
spilling mysteries of the inner sanctum
for two swigs of liquor
and a foolhardy anthem.
mock me if you will,
but my honesty still
beats
your
silence.
i want your soul to boil over and spill,
all over the floor,
so i can see if you're sincerely disgusted
by the truth i entrusted
to your cloudy conscious.
i hope you forget all of this
as the morning sun wakes you hazy
and finds you hastily
running
away
again,
to escape me.
i have made too many bargains.
the devil seized my soul
so i could hold you in my arms
for five more measly seconds.
i refuse to keep
stumbling over regret
but,
what a fool i was,
to think i was your friend
instead of your
*****
little
secret.

in the directionless void
oblivious of self
omniscient serenity
one with nothing

a disembodied hand
with a cold grip
turns my head
"this is the center"

mountains *****
canyons collapse
fauna and flora
erupt from nowhere

tension seeps in
as tranquility cracks
under a new pressure:
to search for center