For as long as I can remember
I believed that I would die young
I'm still here
Age twenty
And I still wonder
If death will show it's face soon
I've tried to meet him many times
Clearly he's avoiding me for a reason then
If I am still here
I'm still here
Death,
I'm still here

Life in the concrete jungle
So busy
So cluttered
Streets and cars and flashing lights
The chaos makes my head throb
Walking down the bustling street
Something in me begs for a slow stroll
I push the urge back down
It’s not appropriate here
As the workers pace by me
Quickly approaching their destinations
I think about a future like that
And feel disgusted
Though it’s not right
Though it’s not acceptable
I need something different
One step in a new direction
Strolling where the path is not paved
I feel a sense of peace
Though others say no
I say yes
And continue
In the distance
I see a pop of color
Before my brain can even process
My feet move towards it
A flower
The most gorgeous being I had ever seen
Delicate petals gracefully moving in the breeze
Its sweet smell filled my senses with delight
Something about this flower drew me in
Nothing else mattered but this flower
Not the angry businessmen
Not the opinions of others
Just this flower
For the first time in forever
I felt true peace
Once my eyes finally tore away from the exquisite flower
I saw in the distance
Lots of flowers like this one
In a lush green field
I raced towards this field
I tumbled into the soft grass
In the company of the flowers
My smile grew on my face
A laugh escaped my lips
I didn’t need to go back to the city
I didn’t need to pace through the streets
Looking for some office job
I was where I belonged
I could stay in the flower field forever
How amazing!
Though some would call me silly
Though some would say I would find my place in the city eventually
I wouldn’t listen
I couldn’t care
I loved the flowers
And the flowers loved me
I was home at last

Driving down the highway,
wondering if you're behind me,
No I don't mean literally,
These memories stay inside me.
Pull your hair away,
arch your back,
remember when I used to make you smile like that?
I bet you don't,
because you never listened,
but smile girl,
ride it out,
I'll be there even when we're on the outs. Curve ball at the same time as your last chance,
it's up to you to change the past.

My death will be liberating.

And I do not say that in the sense
that I am going to find a cliff
and take a good jump off.

No.

I am just trying to find a
clever way to tell you

that I do not know what is going
to happen next.

You see,

there is a
fine line
between
dreaming and
mortality

and

I am finding out for myself
that being in love
does not always
involve

being awake.

And for my sake
I fall in love with daydreams,
nightmares,
hazy realities
and

the hung-over idea

of not being enough.

It is all out of my hands.
                 It is all out of time.

And the only thing I have left to do,
now,


is decide.

You’re not a poet because you know those ‘fancy’ words
You’re a poet because every word you write comes straight from your heart

You’re not a poet because people admire your work
You’re a poet because you write for your own contentment and not for people's consent

You’re not a poet because you feel alone
You’re a poet because pen and paper are your biggest companions

You’re not a poet because you understand emotions better
You’re a poet because you let them flow freely

You are not a poet because you’ve failed in love
You’re a poet because you’ve been in love deeper than anyone else

You’re not a poet because you are strong
You’re a poet because you don’t hide your weaknesses

You’re not a poet because you can heal hearts
You’re a poet because you know what it means to be broken

i want to know somebody

know every detail of their life events
i want to blow the candles on their first birthday
lick the stamp on the first letter they sent

i want to share and be shared intimately

from my brown skin into my core
i want to wrap around his member and see his eyes ask mine for more

i want to nearly bleed to death

over how much I’m able to give
over how much I might withstand if it meant my love would live

because i think people are meant to be shared with one another, tied in an infinitesimal amount of ways; tumbling as one.