I met a wise man, named Mister Hank
I went to his store, because I had  no money in the bank
But a broken laptop to sell, and an empty stomach

The door was locked, but he let me in still
He said "Sit down son, talk if you will
Because you look like you've got some troubles"
I sat down across from him, and felt my stubble
And then I felt my stomach rumble
Looking right down at my shoes

He said "When I talk young man, I want you to look me in the eye
And I figured he thought what I was saying was a lie
When I was trying to talk about my broken laptop

But I couldn't have been any more wrong,
He just looked like an old time song
That's seen it's share of plays
And wanted to help me out

I told him how I write, and how I sing
And he said "It's good that you've found the thing
You really have a passion for."

"The thing that this world lacks is drive,
But I see the spark in your eye,
The kick in your side
And I know you're gonna make it out there"

We talked about drugs, and we talked about love
Everything we were taught, and the concept of
The things we were taught to believe

But the most important things, that I learned from him,
Is you can't spread happiness, if you don't have it within
"It's a sad fact son, but look out for number one,
Because sometimes love can't carry you through,
All the cold winters and the midnight blues
Just take a step back for a while, and maybe you'll find a better view"

It's just one of them things that'll do you right
An old soul with some good advice,
Sometimes, that's just all you need.

He stares into her eyes
Cold, and hollow.
Long past expiration
Yet still so blue and swimming with life
He keeps her around
Skin pulled back with a taxidermists touch
Remaining young, and eloquently soft
Forever
He moves her around
Like they're dancing in the rain
But the rain would make her eyeshadow run
Darkened tears streaming down
A sallow yet preserved face
Young and fresh forever
To do with as he sees fit
He's mad
Preserving mommies corpse
With the tenderest touch
She still eats dinner with him
But when he feeds her her mouth goes slack
Since he did not sow her lips shut
Eye lids peeled back forever
Mouth stuck in an Icy grin
He'd always loved his mothers smile.....
But she hadn't loved him
She was focused on the home owners association
And impressing her neighbors
While her son she loved to call darling
Was festering, desperately wanting her attention
But he was never good enough
He just wanted to make her proud
Now her face says she's proud of him eternally
He'd always loved his mothers smile..
Mommy smiles forever now

I don't know where I'm going,
But I'm getting somewhere

I'll always remember
Fifth period, Junior year
Walking in to class on a bad day
To be met with a warm smile
And a first bump from
Mr. Carter.

When I first met you, Mr. Carter
I thought you were a strange bird
You said things that were so absurd
I'm surprised you keep your job

Yet, You always had a way of making me see things
From another perspective
Besides my own
And I would like to thank you for that
Because it takes a lot to sway my opinion.

I remember when Jacob was sleeping
And you broke out the fishing pole,
Stealthily lifted his hat,
And stuffed it under in the light
Yeah, I'll always remember that.

I've never had a teacher that cared so much
That would stick his neck out for students, like you
Always concerned, asking how we were,
Make us smile when we're blue

I would always sit and write,
Instead of doing my work
And you always pushed me back on track,
Yet I don't think you've laid eyes on a verse

So since the end is drawing soon,
And the calender has been marked June
I decided I'd write a poem to my favorite teacher,
A verse from me to you

I've got no plans,
And nothing to do,
so I'll just hang around,
And dance with you,
Ms. Lucy.

We'll play our favorite bands,
and get lost in paradise.
I love to hold your hand,
But it's so hard to say goodnight,
Ms. Lucy.

Cop A Nop
Yop O U
Dop E Cop I Pop Hop E Rop
I-top?

Mop U cop hop
E A Sop I E rop
Top hop A Nop
Yop o u
Top Hop I nop kop

Since 1996 I've been keepin it real
Writing these songs to connect with how you feel
Life consists of bad ******* and drug deals
And a whip with loud systems and big wheels

That's just life in the DYT,
Learn to never trust no-bo-dy
Cause your homie could be around the corner with a strap,
Go up expecting daps, and hear nothing but violent gunclaps
Dayton, where hoes get smacked and the game is crack,
**** with the wrong person, wake up, and get macked
Everything is an allegory to territory
Wrong side of town? Get dropped off forty stories

I imagine the suburban struggle
That my father works through every day
I know that his spirit is smothered now
By the falsehood of American dreams
Struggling to feed not just him but me
the suburban struggle is a real one
that plagues him whenever he rests his eyes
Those eyes that squint at overdue taxes
Those eyes that cast a blue desperate glare

He's always scowling at something
But mostly at himself
For feeling inadequate in times
Of the most desperate need
But I look to my father for morality
And peace of mind,
I just wish he'd rest a while

Tears dropping in blue
In loving memory of you
Pictures and memories are the last to go
It seems I'm always the last to know
I wont just throw everything away

With this gun upon my head,
I'll meet you in the end, my friend.
I swear upon every tear
I've spent crying these past few years.
I'm no longer overcome with fear

Wake up in the same old bed.
The same old sheets, and torn threads.
Remembering all the words you ever said
Replaying over and over,
Inside my head.

With this gun upon my head,
I'll meet you in the end, my friend.
I swear upon every tear
I've spent crying these past few years.
I'm no longer overcome with fear

I said I would return for you, and I did.

You had a way of captivating me
Like an artist is struck by something beautiful
You made me feel inspired,
Like there were possibilities
Beyond this emptiness.

You were the axis my world spun on.
The pulse in my wrist
My Mona Lisa,
If I could id hang you in a gallery
With all of the other great works of man,
But I'm selfish,
And I want you all to myself.

I walked into class
The students all turned their heads
Do they smell my ****?

You remind my why it is,
That I like being alive

It's warm.
Like smoke,
Shapeless,
Pushing my sins through my pores
To be cleansed by the crying sky.

This feeling,
This reality
Is crumbling down
Around my feet....

With arms wide,
and skyward eyes
I look for the answers..

This rain...

It dwells inside the cave of my Self.
Past the Guardians
Past the ego, the shadow,
The Anima, the Animus,
This truth I hold now

It comes to me as
Red and floating, weightless
Wrapping around my conscience,
Lifting me up, to the heights of
This existence
To the levels of a higher sentient.

I am safe here.
With chills in my spine,
And closed, but wandering eyes,
I peer inside,
The only place I can really call home.

I gotta pick myself up, get away from here
Get away from the demons from all these years
gotta enjoy myself, get away from my fears
Gotta be smiling from ear to ear

Let’s bounce from my home, to the park and get ******
From my feet, to my dome, good times in my bones
Call my dude, get an oz,
Now I’m blowing thick smoke
Memories, fade away, after every single ****

She’s gone from my life, end this year long strife
She’s gone for the night, take a chance, roll the dice
But still, she lingers, somewhere in my mind
Another party every night, I’m sure to forget her this time

Take a chance, and run with me, to a land that’s far away
We can dance out, by the sea, till the break of the day
Now it’s just I, and as for you I cannott say
I don’t care anymore, I never mattered anyway

I picked up the pieces, now I’m heading for the setting sun
Maybe I’ll find some Jesus, maybe I was born to run
I’ll look to find the answers, that may well never come
I could find my piece of Heaven, then my journey is done

Out of luck, and out of time
The wealthy shake me down,
though I've commited no crime
I won't let you push me around
I aint taking what's yours, I'm just asking for whats mine!

I used to think the rich were okay
Selling me lies from their masquerades
leaving young men stranded on foreign shores
It doesn't matter now,
That's not what I stand for anymore!

You're so psychedelic,
You burst into vivid colors
In the style of a kaleidoscope,
Because only something so beautiful
Could represent
Your light

You're my favorite hallucination
I imagine your hand reaching out,
I try to grab it,
then suddenly you disappear
Like the smoke from my cigarette
Into the thin air
I am clamoring to breathe

I wish to write shakespearean sonnets
That will be remembered through the ages
I want to reach skyward and catch comets
My sons sons remeniscing through pages
And volumes that were thought to be long gone
Blowing the dust of and squinting at ink
Of crossed out verses and doodles I've drawn
I hope my poems make them stop and think
And ponder anything, and everything
Make them question all the authority
I hope they hear destiny beckoning
To prove wrong all the vast majority

I hope my sons sons will come and find this
I hope they will find this, and remenisce

I fell in love,
when I was about fourteen
with narcotics

****, pills, coke, lean
LSD and ecstasy
DMT and Ketamine

I love it all

Sobriety is a struggle
Because I don't know how to cope
If I can't get high,
I'm searching for the rope
To tie around my neck
and jump
to a short drop
With a sudden stop
Because I have to deal with everything
Or anything,
at all

I can't do that...
I'm not like you
I can't look past the rain clouds in my way
To get a little better view
The view has to be skewed
By acid or a mushroom
Or two, or three
maybe a few hits of DMT,
Then those clouds will move,
Maybe the world will gimme a little breathin room

I'm not even a addict
To one particular vice
I'm just an addict
For the vice of the night

what am I gonna smoke?
What am I gonna snort?
What will bring me back up
To where I was before?

I can't handle sober
It's just not in my genes
I rely on all these drugs
To make me feel like me

But you wouldn't understand
Your probably 30 years old with a 10 year plan
you're a family man, got a wife and two sons
Reading this saying "I hope they don't end up like this one"
Cause you know what?

I really don't either
I failed chemistry
But I can turn brake fluid
Into Ether

And that should tell you something
When I started this, I didn't know
About the bad world coming

Now I'm stuck so deep in this hole
I can't climb out, cause there's no hand-hold
I don't think there's a long enough pole
To reach down to the bottom and touch my soul

Now I just keep digging my self deeper
I found my love, and I know she's a keeper
But what's to keep her from leaving me?
I'm going nowhere fast and it's plain to see
Sometimes I just wanna die,
Hope a car jumps out in front of me
then I can die peacefully
Like I've always wanted,
I've put a gun to my head,
But can't pull the trigger
I'm just to cowardly...

I want to die
I want to die right now
With a rag over my face
Inhaling all the toxic chemicals
Kids found out about on Myspace
In my place,
Just my, my self, and I
Layin all up on my counter space

and I slip away

A wildflower gently springs forth to bloom
The pedals a darkened shade of maroon
And as I watch this from my darkened room
The night will come and swallow it to soon
The pedals of the flower start to close
And then it disappears into the ground
Where it goes, I'm afraid nobody knows
I know I don't, I hope it stays around
It grows underneath the oldest Oak tree
That any man hath ever laid eyes on
I will go there and fall on to my knees
And gently weep because the flowers gone
Overnight, sank into the moistened dirt
But I now appreciate Natures worth

Have you ever loved someone so very deeply,
And knew they were the completely wrong person?
You knew they were going to shatter your heart eventually
But you just didn't care.

You embraced everything about them.
How high they made you feel,
How low they drug you down
How they could be a complete disaster
And you'd still be around
worshiping them,
Putting them on a pedestal,
and bowing before it
Knowing full well their throne
Is built on a lie.

The worst part is when
You start to see right through them
When you've committed yourself
But you're too far along to quit
So you stay in the game
Asking yourself every day
"why'd you have to come my way,
With that deadly, ambiguous gaze.
I'm running through your maze,
Delirious, deranged
all the while expecting you to change."

You'll think that they're different,
That they're not the same,
You'll buy into the  illusions
That haunt photo frames
And you know that they'll  say
"I'm doing my best!"
But you can feel all their baggage
Weighing down on your chest,
And it becomes hard to breathe

Funny now, how the nausea replaces the butterflies

I'm all alone, once again
Pour my heart out with this pen
Remembering all the words you ever said
Replaying over and over, inside my head
I know how it feels to love,
But I'll never love again

It's on nights like these
That I miss you the most
I can feel the ghost
Of your lips
On the tip of my nose
Because you're not quite tall enough
To reach my forehead.

It's on nights like these
That I miss you the most
When I stay up all night
Rereading the notes
That you wrote me
Little pieces of you
That I cherish when I'm alone

You bring me the kind of happiness
I can't find in the ashes of a blunt
Or at the bottom of a bottle
You make me truely, absolutely happy
And I haven't felt that way
In such a terribly long time
And I know you haven't, either.

I'll never let you go, baby doll.
We'll make it together, you and me
Through it all.

The moonlit hours haunt young people.
The ivory glow of our sentient satellite
Encases the adolescent mind
with visions both imaginative and lavish in their nature.

The scent of evening primrose inspiring the poet,
Casablanca lily's spill their essence onto the artists canvas.
Stargazers make eye contact with their idols.

We are the bright lights that poke holes through the dark.

My eyes open slowly,
After being crusted shut
I feel like I am floating,
Moments pass...

Oh my god, I'm floating!
I observe my surroundings
Everythings... black?

A streak shoots across my field of vision
It appears to be on fire
I roll over on my side and feel nothing beneath me
I look down, and there's nothing
But what appears to be stars
And floating pieces of dust

"I am dreaming" I say to myself
"I am aware that I'm dreaming..."
"I'm in space..."

I flip myself around in the zero gravity
To find myself staring at the center
Of a spiral shaped galaxy
And all I remember
Is feeling myself fall towards the middle

I wake up, sweating

These stars are viewed
Better underneath them with you
The song the crickets sing
Reminds me of the sting
And how alone I really am
Wishing you were here

I know you're sleeping
And I know you need the rest
But I can't feel lonely
When your head is on my chest

And I listen to you breathe
Deeply with closed eyes
And I wrap my arms around you
Reassuring that you're mine

But for now I'm by myself
Writing nocturnal diaries about you again
I'll see you in the morning,
So this night is at an end

I think Vincent Van Gogh sliced off his ear to drown out the noise.
Life is so **** loud all the time with its crashing and banging
And sounds of screeching halts in action.
Keyboard clicks and the voices of Charlie Browns teachers.
I feel lost in this soundscape and not in a good way.
Tires and church bells the sounds of the drooling mob drive me mad.
I can't hear myself think anymore,
My soliloquy swallowed by the utterances of curses and cries of crows.
If the world would silence itself for just a moment,
I could sigh in relief.

I feel a shiver run through me
As her fingers touch my neck
And she bites my lip
While she tells me she loves me

I could sprout wings and fly
Every time she speaks my name
Her enticing words rolling off her tongue
And composing a symphony in my ears

When she walks,
I'm fascinated with how she sways her hips
And how she turns back to look at me and licks her lips
And my heart starts beating in anticipation

Her skin is soft,
Like I'm running my rough hands across flower petals
And when I kiss her neck,
I hear her breathe in gold and exhale diamonds
While she pulls my hair
Just the way I like it

There's no place I'd rather be

My eyes are weary,
Won't you let me sleep?
These bags don't lie
I've been up all night
and it's no secret

My head keeps falling back
My neck barely supporting it
I'm about to topple flat
And everybody's applauding it

This no sleep thing can't continue
I've ran into three doors today
And pushed one that said pull
I'm about to fall out

I can't wait to wake up one day and not miss you at all.
I know I deserve better but yet I still crave you.
The way your eyes used to glimmer in the sun.
The way your perfume hit my nostrils.
But no matter how badly I desire these things,
What I want, more than anything,
Is to wake up one day, and not miss you at all.

Today I saw you
For the first time
In months
Oh, how familiar..

The wobbling knees
the shaky breath,
and clammy hands
That all come from being stricken
with love
and lust
And being lost in a feeling of lonely morose
As I watched you walk away.

Oh, lover
Let me fall into your covers
And pull me under
Oh, lover
Let me take you to the mountain side,
With the mist that matched your eyes,
Oh, lover
Let me kiss your cheek
Gently, and watch you sleep
Oh, lover
I'll protect you till my dying breath,
Scream your name till no air is left,
Oh, lover
Your fingers fit in the spaces between mine,
How can one deny, we're perfect by design
Oh, lover

Keep me awake,
Keep me alive,
Stifle it all
back down inside
Old Friend.

Make the nights never end
as the moon shines brighter than the sun.
You make my vibration strong again.
You make me happy,
yet I know if you hang around,
You'll eat out my insides.

But I was so glad to see you.

wisdom burns through my veins,
Igniting endorphins into flames,
Primordial fire,
Exhale desire,
Detach from the self

I will love all who cross my path
I will treat them with kindness and compassion,
Wear my heart on my sleeve, but not for fashion
I feel a swelling in my heart you can't even imagine,
My spirit lifts, soars,
Powerful, born of dragons

I will take only what is given
Receive humbly, give naturally
I will help others reach the top of the mountain,
Making leaps and bounds over life's long climb
I will offer them water,
And let them drink from my hands
When they've become to weak to help themselves
Because those who would tend to the Buddha,
Would tend to the sick, the tired, and the famished

I will live in the present moment,
Not in my inescapable past or independent variable of a future
The only time is now,
And I'll liberate myself from the chains of suffering
I will be free,
I will return home

This is my Mantra

Being alone is strangely freeing.
Now that you're gone, I have no one to answer to.
No one texting me constantly to see what I'm doing
And where I am and who I'm with.

Being alone is a cage with no bars.
I have all the time in the world and no one to share it with.
I'll watch a beautiful sunset, and try to pass my cigarette
To the outline of a woman that isn't there anymore.
Though your shadow still casts next to mine on my roof.

Being alone is enlightening.
With no idle chit chat to fill the air
My thoughts can now smoke out a room.
Every situation is either dreadfully awful or benevolently warm.
There is certainly a struggle for balance.

Being alone is stupefying.
I become so engrossed in myself I forget the world around me exists.
My cell phone sits in my pocket, a fossil of wires and plastic.
I find it now just to be an over sized paperweight.
Most time now spent in isolated contemplation.
There's always sunshine behind my tag-a-long rain cloud.

There is strength to be gained from solitude.
I now fully bare the weight of my unobstructed conscience.
My once feeble legs carry on like the hooves of the ox.
Once cold, I am now warm and inviting.
I greet each day with open arms and humble spirit.

Life is okay.
Even if I have to experience it alone,
Sometimes, it's not a bad thing.
I feel the warmth.

It's hard being an optimist trapped in a cage of chemical imbalance
I always hope for the best, but I feel the worst on the wind
and the malice in my mouth
when I grind my teeth anxiously,
Hoping for something, anything of interest to come and inspire me
Restore my heartbeat, my chest explodes violently, fiery
A blooming flower with a soft epiphany
Bond again with my soul, a spectral synergy
My world is black and grey, Yet still,
Colored vividly

I feel isolated.
I call to the wind,
Only Echoes...

Rushing water,
Heat behind my eyes,
I want to clench but I can't feel my body,
Images flash of spring time
And laughter
Of a young boy catching his first fish,
a father who's so very proud..

There's pressure in my head,
Memories clamoring individually for my attention,
I have to get out, this is too much for me..
The neuro squeezing ends..

Where am I?
I don't remember standing,
I don't remember opening my eyes..
Where am I?

I turn round and see myself sitting
In full Lotus, palms up,
Connecting my forefinger and my thumb.

But... that's impossible
I am here, but I am also there
I feel so ethereal.
I should be terrified, but this feels...

Right.

I can have anyone I want,
but all I want is you.
That ever out of reach object of my attention.
The moon I can't capture between my fingers.
The ever running tide from my shore.
Why do you run from me?
Or, more correctly,
Why am I chasing you?

Pain is an emotion,
It torments me nightly
I have the slightest notion
Of happy days that will never be

Drag me through the waters,
Into a shallow grave
Hang me from the rafters,
There's nothing left to save,
The way I have paved,
Is to sadness and sorrowful days
Pain, is here to stay

I wish I could give you people something of substance
But the fact of the matter is I just feel so uninspired
And that leaves me to think,
What the hell happened to this world?
There should never be a moment
In any poets life where they can't draw some inspiration
where they can't paint the sky burnt orange on a snowy day
With their words as a brush
With our words as a brush
And All of our stories as our color palate
I think we could paint the universe together
In a fantastic mural of culture, and love

The water colored sunset paints my soul golden.
The clouds hanging like opalescent miracles.
The sun shining between them as Angels trumpets sound.
All the colors are stunning, vibrant, and new,
Yet when they're all mixed together,
They turn back to that gray blue
That I missed so much about your eyes.

She walked with grace.
She talked with a voice as sweet as honey milk.
When she cried I felt every tear hit the ground.
And when she laughed, I knew I was where I needed to be.
Then she changed.
She began speaking softly where I could not truly hear her.
She turned away from me at night and left me cold.
Her white lies turned to pure fallacies
And her eyes became deceptive.
Then she left.
She said she had eyes for another.
And had, for a while.
She claimed it wasn't fair to me
and I agreed with her.
I think about her every day.
The way her touch sent chills through me.
The way her eyes poured poetry into my empty hands.
And spilled between my fingers.
My room still smells of vanilla.
My guitar still sings your praises.
And never stops crying the blues.
I hope to forget you. Entirely.

Perspective pries your once weighty eyes
And gives you wings

I've got a lot on my mind and no space to write it all.
I've got dirt on my face, but no strength to wipe it off.
Going over the edge, I think I'm gonna fall.
I've got a stomach in knots, and a pneumonia cough.

Early morning lights peeks through my window
The rise of smoke painted gold as I let my problems go
Positive vibes, as I **** upon the indo
Where this day will take me I'm afraid I do not know

But I will not fear destiny, I will accept things as they come
Negativity tries to get the best of me, but theirs songs to be sung
There's no harming me, I have my inner harmony
My positive disposition is guarding me

I can't let myself be beaten by hate and anger
Keep my head up, find faith, help a stranger
Got a great woman, she helps my find my center
She's my baby, and she's beautiful I couldn't live without her

I'll look into her eyes, and sit with the rising sun
Think of days gone by, you and me together in every one

I would like to take a moment, to talk about gay rights
How would you feel, if where you lay your head at night
Your whole family makes you feel all alone,
That you live in a house with a roof and four walls, but no home
People need to realize, hatred is not set in stone

Walking through the school hall, getting ***** looks
From self reichous people, they're really just scared and shook
But I can't imagine how much courage it must have took
Too say that you are gay, and, your proud to be
Gays have made a movement, they beat the odds, you see

If you're gay, stand up, I want to hear you roar
Take their insults with a grain of salt and nothing more
Cause the haters never know the struggle you've been through
So strideboldly through lifes doors and do you!

Powerful is he
who can conquer desire
And speak with kindness
To friend and foe

Unified under his teachings,
Are those who walk a sacred path
Towards the endless peace of Nirvana

Righteousness
Peace, and tranquility
Are my only goal

E**very day,
Spent in solitary meditation
All in an effort to be,
Pure

I can smell the dishonesty
In your veins, running...
Putrid.

Loving girls with broken pieces,
Leaves no patience for puzzles

My heart is headed in all of the wrong directions,
Delving in multiple women to satisfy my craving of affection
Looking into my reflection, I can see that the tension
Is still there.
How, why, what is the deal?
I have all of the partners
that wanna be lovers
But none of them are making me feel.
None of it's real.
Speaking irrelevance over our meals,
They speak about nothing,
Just constantly blubbering
a grinding and sputtering wheel.

I need more than empty shell.
I need one to whom secrets I can tell
Who will admire stars and throw coins in wishing wells.
Someone who will flee this place with me on a whim
In hopes that all will be well.

She'll have an aquatic soul,
Headbang to rock and roll
She'll lay back and count the holes
In the night sky, through which pure light pours.

She'll find her way to me,
Cause I believe
We're drawn together, magnetically
Blessed to surely meet.