Sometime I sit here all alone
just wondering what went wrong
how did I end up in this mess
and when will I move on
When will I say, I’ve had enough
and bury you in my past
take the memories, we shared with each other
and throw them in the trash
You did it to me, so easily
so why can’t I do the same
I guess, that you meant more to me
and now, it’s driving me insane
I want to shut the door on you
and never turn around
but everything, reminds me of you
and I spiral, right back down
perhaps, you stole a piece of me
and that’s what has me stuck
I wish I could look you, in the eyes
and tell you, “I don’t give a ****!”
but you and I both know, that isn’t true
cause I just can’t lie to myself
I hope you’re sleeping well at night
while I sit here, trapped in Hell!

As long as I am living
I promise this to you
You’ll never ever experience
The pain that I went through
You’ll never have to be afraid
You’ll never have to hide
You’ll never have to suppress the thoughts
Or feelings you have inside
You’ll never have to fake a smile
Or hide a cut or bruise
You’ll never wish that you were dead
Or have to make up an elaborate ruse
You’ll never have to think about
The life you never had
You’ll never have to feel alone
If something makes you sad
You’ll never feel like you weren’t loved
Or hate the skin you’re in
You’ll never feel like you are lost
Or feel like a failure, if you don’t win
You’ll never miss a single hug
Or wonder if I care
You’ll never face a single challenge
And wish that I was there
You’ll never shed a single tear
That I won’t dry away
You’ll never be a victim
To the games, your mind can play
You’ll never have to build a wall
Around your precious heart
Because mommies love is unbreakable
And can’t be torn apart
As long as I am living
My life, will revolve around you
You’ll never go a single day
Without knowing that mommy loves you.

Sometimes I'm scared to walk outside
Cause the world has gone insane
It seems we need a miracle
To save us from this pain
Tragedy is all I see
When I turn on the news
The politicians and media
Are plotting their next ruse
Why can't we all, just use our minds
And think all by ourselves
Instead of buying the stories
That the media, is trying to sell
The media, is selling hate
And we're all buying in
The world is on a dinner plate
And their feeding off our sins
Their using social platforms now
To fully extend their arms
Knowing that will fuel the fire
And cause us further harm
Honesty is dead and gone
The world has lost its heart
We need to come together now
Before the world, just falls apart
Rallies filled with picket signs
Aren't working anymore
Cause everyone's, completely forgotten
Just what we're fighting for
We need to put down all the signs
And throw our weapons down
And remember that peace, is the safest way
To find some common ground
Hate has caused a million problems
But never solved, a single one
Its escalated, to the point
Where we're turning, on everyone
Our leaders need to do the job
We elected them to do
They need to find, a peaceful way
To help us make it through
They need to put, agendas aside
Forget the left and right
Cause if they don't, I just don't see
A resolution in sight
They can't make this, about politics
Our problems are bigger than that
Their agendas, have turned us against each other
And that's a simple fact
So, set aside your differences
And set aside your greed
And fix this mess, that you have made
That's what, our country needs
Quit with all the personal attacks
On one another's lives
You can play, your political games
On some else's time
It's time for you, to join forces now
And put your heads together
You made this mess, now clean it up
It's time to make this better
There's one thing, that I know for sure
And that's, hate is bred from hate
And it's clear to see, that this is what
Has brought us to this state
You should be ashamed
Of all, the chaos, you've allowed
You haven't done, a single thing
To make this country, proud
So shut your mouths, and get to work
The country, is depending on you
It's time for you, to do the job
We hired you to do.

Sitting there all by yourself
With too much time to think
Emotions pouring over you
That make you want to drink
Drown out all these feelings now
Then pay for it tomorrow
Wondering just how much you'll need
To drown out all this sorrow
I'll just have a beer or 2
Enough to ease my mind
There's nothing wrong with a couple drinks
To help someone unwind
Until that beer, turns into 10
And you don't know, where you are
Then you think, you're invincible
And you climb into your car
You think that, you're doing great
But you're all over the road
And as, you're being hauled off to jail
You'll wish you weren't so bold
Cause when you wake up, behind those bars
And find out, just what you did
You'll realize, all those drinks you had
Took the life, of someones kid
And all the sorrow, and guilt you feel
Won't change, what you have done
Your selfishness, became a bullet
And alcohol, the gun
Now your life, is ruined forever
And you'll have, plenty of time to think
What if I, just talked to someone
Instead of deciding, to drink?

THIS IS ME

I think too much, it hurts my brain
My head is full of doubts
I try to cover up my pain
But I can't block it out
I've built these walls, around myself
To mask the pain inside
I hide my feelings, on these shelves
And run in there, to hide
My OCD controls me
I'm as stubborn, as they come
I write when I feel lonely
I make mixed tapes, just for fun
I smoke too many cigarettes
I refuse to love myself
My mind is dark, and a bit complex
But I'm not like anyone else
I'm a single mom, to amazing kids
Who are wrapped around my soul
There's nothing, that I wouldn't, do or give
To make sure, they reach their goals
I desperately, need perfection
In every aspect, of my life
I struggle with affection
I don't, sleep much at night
I've witnessed my boyfriend, die on me
I've cursed at the hand I was dealt
The cancer, just took him so suddenly
But I have always, just blamed myself
I'd rather sit alone and cry
Than show the world my tears
I sometimes wish, that I would die
Than face my deepest fears
Some say, I'm unapproachable
My sarcasm, is too much
It's left me feeling vulnerable
Afraid of not being loved
I can be a clown, sometimes
And other times, I'm a mess
Some people, can read between the lines
And know, that I'm depressed
I don't wear make up, or girly clothes
I feel fat, and insecure
I've been to places, no one knows
I have diseases, with no cure
I did drugs, and drank too much
There's wounds I cannot mend
I hurt some people, that I love
My life, I tried to end
I love the calm, before the storm
I love to watch the rain
My hearts been shattered apart before
But I've endured the pain
I wear a hat with everything
My style is out of sync
When I'm inside my car I sing
And I don't care what you think
Music, means the world to me
It can inspire me to write
The lyrics, seem to set me free
Some have, even saved my life
I grew up in a dangerous place
So bad, we had to leave
I've been the victim, of race filled hate
That left me on my knees
I've never owned a fancy car
Or had money, like my friends
But even though my life is scarred
On me, they can depend
I've suffered through, all kinds of abuse
******, physical, and mental
I'm sure, that this has changed my views
And made me less than gentle
I don't like people who lie to me
They don't get my respect
I see the things that no one sees
And to some, that is a threat
People who don't like animals
To me, are maladjusted
My views, may be too radical
But to me, they can't be trusted
I have a sailors attitude
My focus is intense
I have issues, that I'm working through
And sins that I repent
I love to watch good comedies
I'm hopelessly romantic
But no one sees that side of me
Which leaves me disenchanted
I'd take a bullet for my friends
My loyalty can't be shaken
I'd fight for them, until the end
Of this, I'm not mistaken
You can choose to walk away
Or come along for the ride
And if you make the choice to stay
I'll aways be by your side.
I don't have looks to be desired
I'm crazy, and full of regrets
But for family and friends, I'd walk through fire
This is me, this is what you get.

Depression takes a hold of me
Like a predator does its prey
It chews me up and spits me out
In this wicked game it plays
It leaves me feeling paralyzed
And drowns out all my screams
It takes what little hope I have
And haunts my every dream
It steals the sunshine from the sky
And drowns me in the rain
It tortures me with the demons
That have caused me so much pain
It shows me a life, so dark and empty
I don’t want to believe that it’s real
I start searching for ways to end my life
To avoid how this all makes me feel
My depression does not give a warning sign
It creeps up on me unannounced
It hides behind walls that my stress will tear down
And then it decides to pounce
It beats me until I can barely walk
And forces me to choke on my tears
It attacks me with all of the demons I hide
And feeds off of all of my fears
It shows me the devil I hide deep inside
The person that everyone hates
I know the depression will **** me someday
It’s just waiting for me to make a mistake.

I have never felt the way
this love has made me feel
God has sent an angel to me
and I pray nightly, that you are real
You’ve swept me, completely off my feet
and stolen my heart away
There’s nowhere else, in the world my dear
that I would rather stay
than in this world of happiness
that love has created for me
A world where I can laugh and smile
in which, only you hold the key
A simple touch, from you my dear
can set my heart ablaze
and the love I feel, when I look in your eyes
can keep me high for days
I never believed I’d find a love
to turn my grey skies blue
but now I have, and I thank you dear
because I owe it all to you
You have shown me the power and beauty of love
and I want the whole world to know
that I want to spend the rest of my life with you
and I’m never gonna let you go.