When all is done
It’s never really done.
Really.
You often asked yourself
'Will I see her again?'
That’s not impossible in vivid reveries
But it’s still a lie.
Creating that illusion in your head
Reversing time repetitively and everything will be as it is
The way you wanted it to be.

Speculating if your love for her
Was being marked for invalidity
Moments imparted on phases that matters most
The smell of berries in her hair
That fiery gold in her eyes
That emphatic touch that never waned
'But why so soon?'

You tried to run
But you can’t
Despite hiding in your illusory canopy
These fragments aren't real anymore
It was.

You tried rendering it to someone else
But you pushed them away
Not letting them in
But you realized those feelings were real
This new beginning was real
But you shut everyone out
Leaving that void of obscurity in your head

Your heart’s barely pumping
Every second mattered
Contemplating if it’s easy to plummet down from here
Now you’re thinking with your heart
Not your head
It doesn't make any sense
Because you created that
You chose to be this way

You just wanted to be with her
Just one day.
Again.

But you can’t
It’s not real anymore
It will never be.
Because it’s gone.
She’s gone.
**Forever.

A sound.
crr crrraa
Not unlike that of an egg hatching.
But there is no egg,
There is only my skin...
And it's cracking.

Slowly at first,
with no hurry or hesitance,
cracking.
My epidermis is no longer flesh,
it is a resin.
A coating made to contain.
To mask.
To shroud.
But the clouds upon the surface
are waning enough to almost
see inside.

I crack.
Emerges pure hatred,
A spirit of vengeance.
I am no longer human,
if indeed, I ever was.
I am not NOT me.
I am more me than ever.

In seeing your horror,
your fear at what I am,
I retreat back inside my shell.
Ready to visit upon you visions of hell
when next I crack.