“Tumakbo ka na”, sabi ng aking mga paa
habang ika’y unti-unting lumalaho sa dilim
at habang ika’y hinahabol ko palayo sa’kin
hinahabol ko ang pagasa; hinahabol ko ang aking hininga

“Huminga ka muna”, sabi ng aking baga
habang pumapatak ang mga malalamig na pawis
nagbabakasakaling maabutan ang dama ng iyong yakap
at makita ang makikintab **** mata

“Pagod na ‘ko”, sabi ng aking puso
“Hindi ka pa ba napapagod? Hindi mo ba naipapansin na malayo na siya sa iyo?”,
dugtong ng puso at labis pigilan ang ikot ng mundo

Patuloy ang lakbay at pilit ‘kong umabot sa piling mo
ngunit kahit gaano kabilis ‘kong palakarin ang mga paa,
ngunit kahit gaano man karaming ikot na ang naidaan ko at ilang patak ng pawis na ang tumulo,
pilit pa ring binabaliktad ng mundo ang daan palayo sa iyo

At kung patuloy akong inililigaw ng buwan patungo sa liwanag
at kung patuloy akong inililigaw ng liwanag patungo sa kadiliman
palayo sa gulo,
bakit nagkaron ng dulo?

At kung tinuturuan pa lang ako ng puso nang umibig ng tama,
bakit ngayon pa?
bakit ngayon pa kung kalian pagod na ang tadhana?
kailan ba sisikat ang araw at sa huli ng storya, tayo ang masaya?

Marami na ang nawala,
mga sugat na ‘di tuluyang naghilom
at mga tahi na nasira,
mga damdamin na pinaraya
at mga ngiting pinalaya

Aakitin rin tayo ng ligaya
darating rin ang panahon na tayo ang maligaya
ng wala sa piling
at sa puso
ng isa’t-isa

Pasensya ka na aking mahal
ngunit hindi ko maitahan ang lumuluhang puso na napilitang pakawalan ang nakaraan –
ang oras ang nakaharang
– Pasensya ka na, hindi kita naabutan

This is a letter to the person who made me believe that he loved me.

Yes, you. That's you.


I still remember when we weren't even that close to being friends. You and I, we were both trying to come up to each other but there was always something pulling us back from doing it.

Maybe God was trying to make a way from getting us too close from each other- maybe he knew what was coming. Maybe he already knew that there was a storm coming before it could even hit us.

Let's go back to the days when we started sharing the same space. There was never an assurance of anything we said or what we did. Those "I miss you already", "You're so cute"; to the stares, and the songs we sang together, the quirky smiles and eventually, I find myself holding your hand too, then it went down to hugging you from behind and you don't seem to mind.

I would talk to my friends about you a lot. It would start from the days when i said, "I'm so happy" and escalated to constant phrases of "I'm so tired" and "I can't do this anymore"- and all the sad songs started to make sense.

Believe me when I say you made me happy. You were a much bigger part of my whole, but also broke me at the same time.

Even though you weren't trying to make me happy, yours was effortless, I still felt happy.
Even though I know in yourself tried to love me, and made me believe that you do, I know from the back of your head and the bottom of your heart; I know you're sorry.

I know you're sorry. It's not your fault. Maybe I came off too strong, and I'm sorry too. I'm sorry that I loved you.

I know you're sorry for being a little early and a little too late.
I know you're sorry when you can’t be the one to sweep off my feet.

But I guess I'm the one who should be sorry.
I'm sorry for getting tired playing your silly game and for thinking that I ever had a chance on breaking through your walls, when you, yourself, won’t even let anyone in.
I'm sorry for pulling too many false alarms. And because of you, I never thought that loving and hurting could possibly strike at the same time.

I'm so tired of trying, TRYING to understand you but you just won't let me. You won't let me in.
I just want you to feel how worthy you are- that you deserve to be loved and I want you to feel that with me. But you won't let me.
I know you're scared, because I am too.

Are you scared because you're happy?

I know you're scared to love, but you didn't have to make me feel like you do.


But I get it; Maybe you were scared of what could the outcome be.
Maybe you're scared because you didn't want to end up like your parents or you're scared to feel anything deeper than anything deeper than deep.
Maybe you're scared because you didn’t know how to handle problems, fights or anything that relates to feeling something.
Or maybe, just maybe, you're scared because you don’t know how to make a person stay.


So today, we have to start letting go of each other because we're still there. You're still in that phase and I'm still in that place. I'm still that friend, I'm still that "friend" who holds your hand whenever nobody is looking.


It’s so hard for me to actually explain how i truly feel about you when we can't even have a continuous conversation in a normal day. I don't know how you do it but how can you stay friends with someone you like and hold their hand, and act like there's nothing going on between the both of you, but deep inside you know there really is- and the hardest part is you have to pretend it doesn’t mean anything?


But I took that risk. I took every risk just to be the girl you wanted me to be.
But you lost it.
You lost that girl, because you forgot her.
You forgot how she looked like and how she speaks.
You forgot how she looked like in a happy bright Monday when you're all alone and upset, and she's there to lighten you up but you closed the light.
You forgot how she painted your skies blue and made your sun yellow.


You forgot that she notices you even when she's mad and hurting because of you.
You forgot that nobody looked at you like the way she did-
She's all about you; and nobody will ever love you like I do.
But you lost it.

And I want you to know that no matter how much you have hurt me, I will always be here for you and I will keep waiting. I know it wasn't any of your intentions to hurt me like that, but I made you make me feel like I was special when you really didn't want to.


I know a part of you loved me. I felt it - and i know you did too. I just wonder what went wrong. I even question myself what I did wrong, if it has something to do with the way I dress, or with the way I speak, or with the way I let my guard down easily.


But despite everything, thank you. Thank you for showing me a piece of your world, and handing me a piece of your heart;


We, will keep waiting.

Duwag ka pero salamat
Salamat dahil hindi mo ako hinayaang mahulog sa isang panandaliang saya
Hindi mo ko hinayaang mahulog sa isang panaginip lang
Sa mga matatamis na salita na hanggang salita lamang
Sa mga makahulugang tingin na hanggang tingin lang
Sa mga masasayang kwentuhan na hanggang ala-ala na lang
Mga salita, tingin at kwentuhan na hindi kayang ipadama ng mga yakap at haplos
Dahil duwag ka
Dahil andyan ka at andito ako
Pinagdugtong lang ng isang pisong tumatawid sa libo-libong distansyang mahirap sundan
Dahil hindi natin kayang tawirin dahil duwag ka...at duwag ako
Oo, duwag din ako
Duwag ako katulad mo
Nakakahilo ang pagitan nating di natin kayang bitawan ng pangakong baka balang-araw ay magdikit din ang daliri at mabatid kung may kuryente bang dadantay sa umaasam na puso...dahil duwag ka at duwag ako
Duwag tayong dalawang pumaroon sa espayong walang kasiguraduhan
Pero napakatapang nating hinarap ang katotohanang nakakabit sa dalawa nating mga paa
Na andyan ka at nandito ako
Malayong-malayo
Itong paang nagpipigil sa ating lumutang sa ligayang hatid ng mapangahas na damdamin;
Hatid ng masarap na pantasyang hawak ko ang mga pisngi mo o na malaya kong natititigan ang mga mata mo
Lagi tayong nakamulat at hindi kayang pumikit ng matagalan
Dahil duwag ka at duwag ako
At ito ay isang pekeng pangarap