you were the fire during the rain storm.
the person who seemed dependable.
that you would be there through even the hardest times.

i'm sorry if i made it too much about me.
and forgot about you along the way.

i'm not good at relationships.
that was always you not me.
remembering the anniversary's.
taking the time to tell me i was beautiful.

i loved you.
i just didn't know how to show it.
now i guess i never will.

i just want to disappear for a while
i want to forget about everyone and everything
not forever
not yet anyway
but just for now
because i am tired
of trying to get through everyday
i don't want to think about dying
i just for once want to be able to truly live
without these thoughts clouding my brain
so i need to disappear
and see if you would be okay
if i would be okay
without me here

i've forgotten how we used to be
before we fell off track

it seems like all i do these days
is just keeping looking back

and i know that we were together
but that didn't last forever

i want to go back in time
to hold on to you
for just one more song

then i'll leave you in the past
where you belong

and i'll stop writing old love songs

you are the late night train i will never take, the cafe i will never stop in, the song i will never dance along to.
you are the late night drives with no destination, the grocery store runs, the song i have on repeat.

i sit on top of the world

it took me a while to get there
but the view alone is worth it

seeing all that is below
all i have overcome
and looking back to where i started

i breathe deeply
with the sun beaming down on me
my hair whipping around my face
the cold wind makes me new

i take one last look before descending
remembering
but knowing
that i will be on top at least once more

i want a love that captures me like a hurricane
one that is all-consuming

so i can't tell where you end
and where i begin

so that the beating of our hearts
is as loud as the thunder around us

i don't want to just be swept off my feet
i want to be swept away
completely

and when the storm passes we will be left
ragged and torn
completely wrecked by one another

if i have to fall in love
i want it to be like a hurricane
memorable and shattering

i am tired of feeling like i am in last place
i don't know how i will ever be as good as you
everything i try so hard at seems like it comes naturally to you

i am sick of how you take everything for granted
you don't appreciate what you have
i wish for once you could see what it is like for other people

you are so blinded by your own opinions
you have no idea what anyone else is thinking
or what others are feeling

you put yourself first and that's all the matters
others are just collateral damage

i am the collateral damage
i get hurt by you at every single turn
i am pushed behind you like a castoff  
i am never free from you

i just want to be my own person
not constantly comparing myself to you
so just for once notice that i don't have it all
you do