Tarahja U: Favorites

Nov 2015 Tarahja U

18.

Nov 2015 Tarahja U

NV

18.

it's sorta kinda my birthday today.
and i know i should be happier than i am right now.
but truth is, i'm not.
i'm pretty much depressed to be honest.
but not that it matters though.

i really just wanted to thank all you bloggers for giving me pieces of your heart,
the kindness and motivation that makes my world seem like a better place at times.
because if there's one good decision i've made in life,
it would be opening up myself to all of you.

this space has made me feel heard.
this space has made me feel wanted.
this space has made me feel loved.

and just in case you didn't know,
every one of you,
makes a difference,
every time.

and i know i don't know you - but i love you anyways

#happybirthdaytome

Nov 2015 Tarahja U

Forgotten

Nov 2015 Tarahja U

From Jess's Lips

Forgotten

You see yourself as a fall tree slowly creeping towards demise.
Each leaf that falls from your gnarled branches
and throws itself to the mercy of the whipping wind
that blows without end through your once proud plumage,
shaking you to the core,
edges you closer to a fearfully empty winter.

You once were green and strong,
standing tall and proud with no thought of the coming cold.
You now bend to the will of the passing seasons,
bowed and pushed nearer to the end of the world,
the end of your world.

But you are no mere fall tree.

When I look at you,
I do not see death.
I see beauty in your colors and in the way your cracked limbs twist.
I hear music in the wind that howls as it dances across your bark
and in the crunch of your leaves that cover the ground.

No, you are not simply a fall tree to me.

You are a tree,
one that still stands
and one that will never be
forgotten.

There's no such thing as "past your prime." Every moment you live is a moment I'm thankful for.

Oct 2015 Tarahja U

Burdened by Love

Oct 2015 Tarahja U

Jamie Lee

Burdened by Love

I'm falling in more ways than one...

....once again the cycle resets.

It takes so much to stay standing,
to remain firmly grounded.

When I feel happiness...
sadness follows in the absence,
replacing the gratefulness I should feel.

This discontent, stirs my emotions,
into a never-ending turmoil.

I am consumed in my greed.
The tease is never enough.

This life refuses to be fabricated.

Pieces lay scattered among the dust.

These winds never relent,
making it impossible to gather the crumbs.

Unable to make determinations from the debris,
I cannot seem to collect myself.

Brief bursts of effort, come and go...
this energy, so difficult to muster.

Without consistency, I am faltering..
never steady and always full of extreme highs and lows.

Now that I've tasted life with you,
I am bound to torture...

..the torture of being without your love.

In every aspect of my life,
I am getting most of what I need....
just not enough of it.

I have family with me.....but not enough of them.
I have the love of my life.....but not by my side each day.
I have two jobs.....but not enough money to cover those needs, or any wants.
I have clothing.....but they are worn and need replacing.
I have food.....but just barely an appetite.

I am hardly able to keep myself together,
physically or mentally....

....I can't seem to stop falling,
regardless of the several times I keep getting back up.

The last hope I have to hold onto, is you.

I need the strength you give me, to face the day.
I need the love you give me, to keep the sadness away.
I need you to hold me, and tell me it's going to be okay.

I need to be able to share the love in my heart,
that I hold only for you.

You are the glue to my life; what is keeping me together.

I'm sorry...

#love #depression #sadness #happiness #emotions #suffering #burden #tease

Oct 2015 Tarahja U

shortness of breath.

Oct 2015 Tarahja U

ciannie

shortness of breath.

i wish you could be here again
i'd give anything to see
the tremors of your beating body
alive, with me

you said before you left
something so profound
and i have tried, and tried to remember it
you never wrote it down

you taught me so well
the anxiety of our life and the care
with the last of your breath, you told me again
separated the hurt with the fair

i could never foresee
and probably should admit
that i am terrified to live in a world
without you in it

the pain, it's always there
you were so accepting, could you have gotten on?
if it were me to be you...
with half of a whole heart gone

met at sixteen, parted at sixty
that's forty four cycles, forty four gallons of tears
dried out my partial body
i am already suffocated without you here

what did you say, as i bent to kiss your cheek?
as the tremors of your life quietened, and you were partially left
what did you say
in your last moments of breath?

*"you're beautiful, this close"

inspired by the Sleeping At Last song 'Saturn'
again...poetry to music, guys

#love #words #death #sorrow #last #old #grief #couple #age #parting

Oct 2015 Tarahja U

I am

Oct 2015 Tarahja U

Tori Thornsbrough

I am

I am broken and falling apart.
I wonder when my time will come.
I hear the demons in my head telling me to end my life.
I see the blood stained scars on my body.
I want my pain to end.

I am broken and falling apart.
I pretend to be happy, even though I know I am dying inside.
I feel my blood spilling out onto the floor.
I touch the blade as it glides across my skin, splitting it in two.
I worry about people seeing my pain.
I cry because I know I have lost the love of my life.

I am broken and falling apart.
I understand that I will never be worth it.
I say I don’t care even though it is killing me on the inside.
I dream about the most painful way to end my life.
I try to end my life when I am alone.
I hope I will not be remembered.
I am broken and falling apart.